Sunday, March 27, 2016

Honest, Simple, Solid, True

Many moons ago, my new roommate and cello performance major Christina nonchalantly asked me if I knew anyone who played the piano. I said, um, yeah, me. First mistake. She tricked me into accompanying her at the musical fireside. After many weeks of diligent practice (such as has never been known by my grade school piano instructrice), the night of the fireside arrived. And it was one of those performances where parts of your clothes catch on fire at various times and you have to hurry to put it out before it ruins the whole thing. Feel me? However, since nobody even knew I played at all beforehand, most people were suitably impressed.

And sometimes I do weird things with friends.
After leaving clinicals later than expected on Monday, Matt and I front-packed over to the RB for a ward dinner/dance. (For any new additions, "front-packing" refers to times when Matt puts his backpack on his chest and pedals his bike while I sit on the seat and hold onto the straps. It helps us move faster.) My rather lengthy experience with buffet-style dinners and church events has taught me several useful skills. One of these is to just take a whole box of pizza and bottle of soda to a table, so I never have to get up for refills. And people feel more inclined to sit with me. Dinner was lovely, the dance was somewhat disappointing. (Not about dance instruction, just dancing.)

Touched the sign before they made a rule against it. #SorryNotSorry
Tuesday was the coldest day of the week and I had to be outside and functional for eight hours straight. There was a double-header for our soccer team (who crushed it) and I had to be there to take care of my guy Lido, make ridiculous parody songs for Gaston, and grudgingly prepare ice bags for the fallen players. I'm still recovering from the chill.

An artistic picture by: me.
Wednesday the DrugLords met to discuss our upcoming presentation, complete with rap. On the way home, I ran into Greg and his child mentor, Ashley. They came over to eat some of Christina's large chocolate birthday cake and Ashley and I had a good time teasing Greg. What's new? Then I did loads of HW and ate free waffles.





















Thursday night Greg and I went to the TEDxBYU event at the Covey Center. Highlights of the night: Randall Bell spoke on the important of establishing small, but rich habits for our success and happiness. Zach Atherton demonstrated the use of humor to address societal problems and validated my love of the Colbert Report.

My guy, Zach, rapping.
Bill Sommerville, a spritely old man, covered the importance of moving quickly, having trust, and keeping things simple in an effort to puff life into the community. During the intermission, Greg and I used some virtual reality glasses to watch the news.

My friend, Brad, hooked me up with the dolphin video.
We watched a film on squids that turn white as a sign of aggression to fend off other males, but always keep their brown side pointing towards the female. Like some men.

Then we stopped by my mission reunion. Killed me to miss it.
Then Dave Vance, writer for Studio C and the Squatty Potty, discussed the ways that humor can turn the mundane into the exciting, make the controversial safe, and connect the disconnected.

Guess what Lauren's favorite thing is? 
Friday was a long night of clinicals, HW, and painting. Yes, painting. This one's for you, Kevin Sanderlin. And I'm having fun learning new techniques.

Because we don't have enough car pictures. 
Saturday, Cam and I tried to go to the temple, but it closed at ten in preparation for women's conference. So he came over and helped me with music for my upcoming film, Detergent. Then I swam for a long time in an effort to complete the Lazy Man Iron Man of the semester.
Us, not shaking hands with Thomas S.
Lauren and I went to Women's Conference with our favorite red balloon. We sat right by some students that Lauren subbed for. I chatted with some very nice old men on the way in, because for some reason I really get along with old men. Go figure. I also like young men. Just saying.

Women for dayssss. 
And today is Easter, so happy day to you. If you are obedient and hardworking, you will be happy. #BecauseOfHim.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

My Name Is: No.

Welcome to yet another week in the life of Naomi Hutchins. If I ever write an autobiography, I think I would include both "Master of General Championism" and "I do what I want" in the title. At least for now. Maybe later my life course will be altered and it'll be something more like "A Guide to Getting Translated" or something like that and my current titles will be demoted to mere chapter headings. 

Also this song is funny:



March 14. You know what that means. Pi Day. And how better to celebrate Pi day than with a 1/3 pi slice of chocolate mousse pie from Kneaders and some chums. The experience was both fulfilling and filling. I even got to sit by the electric fire eating bread and lemon custard samples until my pie was ready.

India, Christina, et moi.
It was also the first day of Lent, an ancient Christian tradition designed to prepare believers via prayer, repentance, and self-denial. I think it mimics Jesus' 40-day fast in the wilderness and culminates on Easter Sunday. That's about what I've gathered from my Catholics friends. There aren't really many of those to chat with, here in the social center of Mormonism, so corrections are welcome. 
Without a day off of school to anticipate, this is where I'm at.
In celebration of such an illustrious holiday, my ward held a traditional Jewish Seder for FHE, which has zilch to do with the Catholics. I was randomly selected to play the part of the unruly child, fittingly. At the beginning, a patriarch passes a piece of saltless saltine-type bread around, and someone keeps it hidden. Later, he has to barter for it back. Our table's patriarch now owes a girl a pie for each of her roommates. 

Look, my bishop's wearing a yamaka.
I did get to eat some yummy food, including some leavened bread that isn't actually part of the ceremony, or even allowed. I even brought an extra loaf of it home. Ask and ye shall receive. (That might also be a hefty chapter in my autobiography.) 

One of these cups is full of the tastiest grape drank ever.
 Other fun notes: one of the traditional songs they sing is called "Dayenu", which means "it would have been enough". It details several miracles the Lord has performed for His people. The people thank Him, saying it would have been enough, but then He did this other miracle too. I liked the idea of that. More humorously, the Jews go through extra cleaning procedures and cover up all their food so as not to expose them to the yeast spores in the air. In Provo, UT, however, we're more afraid of the hormones floating in the air.

I was voted "Permanent 3rd Wheel" due to my stellar wingmanship.
Another worthy chapter title, I think.
For Benson's birthday on Wednesday, a group of us went to Guru's for dinner (and so he could get some extra credit by attending his guitar teacher's performance there). We also went next door to get some gelato because he served in Italy and I appreciated because: France. Also the multitude of mints that I snatched as we were leaving. Then, in keeping with the religions-that-aren't-ours theme, we watched Fiddler on the Roof. Remember that weird nightmare scene? Always creeped me out as a kid. Now I find it rather comical.

Also, Tevye is my guy.
Unfortunately I had to terminate this part of my evening early in order to perform my wingman duties by gently illustrating the lack of interest my friend Alexis had in her pursuer. She also fed me a lot of strawberries and crepes, so I'm not mad.

Another chapter: SassMaster
I aced a test. Did decently on another. I did a lot of HW and let my Korean teacher draw the innervations of the ulnar and median nerves on my gloved hand. I also went to Institute and discussed Bender's talk on hushing our fears. There, I met a French man, David, and I loved talking to him so much (because I love speaking French, NOT because I love him) that I was giddy for the rest of the night. Benson and Matt talked missions with me and then helped me study for anatomy by drawing muscles on my ankles (Matt) and saying Italian words that sound like anatomy terms (Benson). 

The Thug Life chose me.
Water Polo on Friday was a delight. (Especially in comparison to my prior Friday activities: clinicals, then biking while watching all my March Madness picks lose in overtime by a buzzer beater.) The team we played was very nice and also no match for my killer flip shot. We won by a landslide and I had fun "smack talking" the three guys that were guarding me. 

Lauren hung out with me all night and I loved it. I need her sometimes. All the time, really. After the game, we brought Swig beverages, Lauren Rigby, and several decks of face cards to visit Ho'o and Mandy with a beat down in Hand and Foot, our favorite card game. Lauren and I are still undefeated. 

Life Goal #37: Have a picnic on a hot air balloon.
(Not sure why that's appealing. I'm scared of heights).
I had to wake up early to get to clinicals for the track meet so Lauren slept in my bed. As I predicted, our certified AT forgot what time she planned for us to come in. She has been out of town for several days, so it was reasonable. There's this one girl who wipes out on the hurdles every time and she did it again. That was the biggest injury we had. Nothing too crazy.

This is David. He speaks Spanish and belongs to one of the coaches.
We ate pretzels and pretended to stab each other for hours.
STORY OF THE WEEK: Patty let me go early so I could get to my basketball game. Which was good, because we only had 4 people show up, which is the minimum to play. Luckily, it was our four best players, and even though Ho'o was pretty sick, she still played like a champ. Surprisingly, even 4-on-5, we still held our own. We were up by a few until they smarted up and started playing a zone. Then we figured out how to beat it and got up again. 

Two minutes into the second half, our point guard sprained her ankle pretty bad. The officials said that technically we were allowed to play with 3 if we wanted. We all kind of looked at each other like is it worth it? and then decided we might as well try it, see how it goes, and we could stop at any time. We were having fun. 

Here's the crazy thing. Somehow, we were still holding our own. We were just playing hard and driving and passing and screening. The officials on the scoreboard were incredulously saying: How is she open? Nobody should EVER be open! And Lauren was on the sidelines assuring that they remembered to put all our points on the board. It was fun and crazy and super tiring and we were doing great up until we called a time out with 6 minutes left.

Exhausted and surprised, whenever the other team's subs came in and asked Who needs a sub? we all raised our hands. Unfortunately, this mediocre team decided to do a few things differently. First, they decided to press us. Which really was a jerk move to tire us out further, because my left handed dribbling skills could break right through it every time. Second, was that they started cherry picking. Which isn't even real basketball and just isn't a fun way to play. Third, their sideline teammates and fans decided they were going to go crazy cheering every time they scored. 

We ended up losing by 15 (60-45), but it was a great game until 6 minutes. I was not impressed with their sportsmanship. But the rest of it was super fun. And crazy.

Champions.
Lauren and I went out to lunch at the Creamery. I took the longest shower of my life and helped my roommate gather tools to fix her bike tire. Matt and I worked on an assignment. At night, Christina and I got Little Caesar's and watched Cinderella Man as I iced my knees. 


Instead of normal church, this morning I attended the dedication of the Provo City Center temple. Isn't it lovely? I like this one a lot. Other questions I have: Will I ever have normal church again? (After stake conference, mission homecomings, etc., we're not sure.) Does Thomas S. Monson wear dentures? (Boris, from the internet, is 100% sure that he might). How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? (Apparently somewhere in the ballpark of 250.)

Sunday, March 13, 2016

So Ya Had A Bad Day?

What. A. Week. First of all, it was full of tests. Starting Monday morning at 9am. I thought it went well. Key word: thought. After clinicals, I went running and stopped by FHE afterwards to get myself ecclesiastically endorsed so I can keep going to college. I snagged a whole bucket of Red Vines and saw my good friend Jordan Jones on the way home, so we got to catch up.

Hair game still goin' strong.
Tuesday I studied and watched several hours of baseball while helping Matt with his comic book plot of his super hero origin. That I am a sub-main character in. I'll take it. Still fairly heavily featured.

Finished another one. This one's for ma guy, T Sizzle. Surprises all around.
Wednesday is the first bad day I can remember. I got my test back and, well, remember that apostle that said It's not good to get D's in school or life?? Forgot. The frustrating thing is that I know my stuff, I'm just not at all good at interpreting my teacher's multiple choice questions. I hate that. Then I spent the entire day agonizing about it because I still had several tests left to take. Then we lost our water polo game by 1 because the refs messed up the score and we were supposed to win by 1. All in all, it was a pretty crappy day. And since the point comes once in a blue moon where all of my suppressed stress erupts like a volcano in my brain, I decided to get a blessing. Which was lovely, as always. And although it never immediately destroys my inner anxiety and emotion that I typically banish from the nearly impenetrable walls of my mind, it does catalyze its slow dissipation. For which I am eternally grateful. The church is true, guys. Then I got free waffles and Matt/Benson came over and made me laugh.

Found this gem in my Ex Phys book.
Thursday I studied. I never get to go home anymore since my block class started. So between 7am and 9pm I need to have a near-constant source of nourishment for myself. This day, during my 12 o'clock class I was eating some snacks and my teacher, ex-Olympic speed skater, looks over. I offered her some of my Cheezits and she said she just thought she smelled oranges and figured that's what I was eating. Nope, but that is what I ate in that classroom two hours prior. Sorry, fam.

Also found this gem. #tb
I went to Institute with Christina and left with Benson. Christina left early for ecclesiastical endorsements and Benson came late because he was running and lost track of the time. Either way, good company was kept and we talked all about my dad's boy: Jo Smith himself. What a guy.

Call us the Trashketballer 4 Lyfe.
It's spring season for high school sports now and my favorite to work with is soccer. Because all the kids are hispanic, swagalicious, and crazy stupid good at their trade. Friday we had to watch their games with substitute Patty (since the real Patty, our head AT, was in St. George with the softball team). One of the interns wanted to make up her hours by coming to the game as well, so we agreed as long as she brought us ice cream. She paid up in full. The games were good and we crushed, although with only minor injuries on both sides.

With the Reynaud's. Lovin' it. 
We caught a ride over to our club Athletic Training party. Mainly for the free tacos. But we arrived just in time for the semester games. First we had to spine board an injured patient as fast as possible (maintaining quality). We won by ten seconds, even with the riotous laughter that ensued. Then we had to throw tape ends into a bucket (aka Trashketball), which Orien won for us by a landslide. Finally, I was volunteered (and reluctantly agreed) to stick my hands in an ice bucket for five minutes and then tape an ankle as fast and as good as I could manage with numb hands. Little did I know that I inherited Reynaud's disease, which is a little more than just sensitivity to cold. Within thirty seconds of intense and voluntary pain, my arms had turned purple. But I was in it to win it. And that I did - again, by a landslide. I'm the fastest and best ankle taper this school has ever seen. Our fastest certified can do it in 45s, well I can do it in 30s. Come at me, bro.

Squad Goals. 
Saturday I studied for and took my final exam of the week. (Several down, with still more to look forward to). I caught Matt after his game of Killball (more on this in the future) and we went swimming together for the Lazy Man Iron Man. Then Greg dropped me off at the temple for some initiatories. And was even kind enough to pick me up afterwards. Note to all: if you gave me temple names, never fear. They ARE being worked on. But I only go to the temple once a week, so it's going to take a bit before you get them back.

The REAL squad. 
Today was Daylight Savings Day and I barely noticed. I was so emotionally drained and physically exhausted from this week that I will be going to bed very early tonight. And, because I was going to my friend's homecoming at 11, I got to sleep in a bit. Lauren, Ho'o, and I went to their Sacrament Meeting and made sure we took some good pics. After practicing the piano a bit, Lauren Rigby, Matt, and I went back for food at their house. We also talked to Uncle Mike for a while and snatched some paintings I left in their shed a few years back. Then I Skyped the fam, who apparently missed me. Huh.

And our final amigo has returned. 

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Shinnsley always on the lurk

This week marks the halfway point of the semester. Meaning I started my block class on ethics. It seems like a waste, but it's required for graduation, so I guess I'll suffer through.

It's finally warm enough to never bring a jacket or wear pants! It also means that Matt started riding his bike to our classes and clinicals. Which means I'm sad now that I have to walk by myself. BUT. Matt was kind enough to let me try to ride on his handlebars. Which didn't really work. Instead, I sit on the seat and hold onto his backpack, which he makes into a front pack, and he stands on the pedals and pedals me the three blocks to our house.
Kevin got my FHE postcard. And LOVED it. 
FHE this week happened in combination with several other groups. We drove up to the Burrows' house (a bishopric member) for dinner and fun. Sister Burrows recounted the tale of when she first learned English and her vocabulary became very colorful very fast. We enjoyed a delicious meal and I lost terribly at foosball. I initiated races sliding down the carpeted stairs and won all of them. I also got some nice carpet burns on my legs. We ended by listening to Nate's piano concert he had to do for a class assignment. We made him end with the fastest version of "Do You Hear the People Sing?" from Les Mis and we all gathered around and sang along.

Sometimes people tell Matt he looks like Luke Skywalker.
Which is funny bc the ball coach looks like Kylo Ren.
And they have ice throwing battles on the daily.
The first of March marked the day that I had to pay rent. And also the first day of the Lazy Man Iron Man. It's nice that there's a stationary bike at my clinical site because I just hop on it in my down time and crank out a few miles. Any more than that and my butt goes numb, thanks to the bike seat pinching off my pudendal nerves.
Sometimes we have to practice palpating shoulder injuries while
wearing the football team's gear. 
After a short study group, my basketball team, "Jordyn Enos", had our first tournament game. We are now in the highest division, but ranked the lowest. We are better than we were originally expecting, and should have started out in the higher division. Unfortunately, we did not, and although our skill level was higher than our opponents', our conditioning was not.

And sometimes Orien takes pictures of himself on your phone.
Wednesday I had an interview for a job at a doctor's office in the training room. I would do this in addition to clinicals, but it pays pretty nicely and works around my clinical schedule. Rob, the basketball trainer, did the interview. He knows I plan on working with him next winter because every time I see him I make some comment about it. He usually laughs. But he mentioned in the interview that my communication skills are on point. Good, good.

And sometimes this is the best day.
Too bad dad never let me play football as a kid.
I actually went to Institute again! This is the third time in...well, ever. And I ate some mediocre, but free, french toast afterwards. My RS had a get-to-know-the-apartment rootbeer float night and Benson showed me the History of Japan.

Once Christina locked herself out when she tried to leave for work at 3am and I had to let her back in. She said she owed me some food or something (and I'm not about to say no to that). She bought a garlic chicken Brick Oven pizza and I wholeheartedly partook.

Round One: Chic-fil-A.
After a fair amount of studying for my three upcoming tests, it was time for popcorn and movie night. Homemade popcorn for dayysss, plus a little bit of PB/chocolate popcorn that was pretty dang good as well. In combination with A Knight's Tale and my friends in C109, it made for a great evening. As the self-proclaimed Chaucer, it is my duty to inform you of a few facts I learned.

First, all the crowd members were Turks with a decent language barrier. Remember that scene where Chaucer first introduces Will and nobody cheers? Then Roland has to cheer to start them up? Not planned. But hilarious, all the same.
Second, Sir Thomas Colville, the alias of Prince Edward, is an actual knight from the 13th century. His father's ambition and ruthless tactics helped further his position. Starting as a mere landowner in Yorkshire, he soon became a master forester, parliament member, and tax collector through his connections with King Richard II's close staff. He also inherited land from any widows in the surrounding area, and there seemed to be plenty of that. This is also the name of an art collector in NY.
I'm officially working at Pfizer again this summer. There was some confusion because I told Jeremy I would work for him and then I got an offer from Andy and then I thought I would have to choose between them and that would've really been awful, but long story short: Jeremy = Andy and voila, I have a job.
Round Two: 180 Tacos.
Saturday was, again, nice and relaxing. I studied so much and ran three miles. Our RS presidency has been planning a trip to Chic-fil-A for weeks because Alexis is obsessed. We finally made it. Alexis and I rep'd RS2, Hannah is our RS1 spy and RS2 VP, and Lyndsie is my roommate that I never see anymore since she's dating a boy. These three hoodlums decided it would be a good idea to split our lunch 50/50 between Chic-fil-A and 180 Tacos. I vetoed this, but was overruled. So we ordered less food so we could go to both places. Then the other three decided they were full after one stop, so I was the only one who got a taco. I hate that.

Derek's parking job. Professional or Accidental?
Later, Tyson and I studied for our ExPhys test that's coming up while eating 50% off Brick Oven pizza that was delicious. Lauren Bellon arrived just in time to accompany me to Stake Conference, where we met some sassy friends, Ben and Brooks. We like them. Then Christina made waffles, her brother made cookies, and I made smoothies. Lauren filmed me doing my laundry and I put eye drops in her eyes. She slept over and we were both out by ten. Which made it awkward when two annoying boys wanted to come say hi to us at eleven. Sorry not sorry.

I like this hat. Also, Greg's covering up
 the puppies in the back.
Today was Stake Conference. I met a very attractive boy who was nice and funny. But then my roommates ran as soon as the closing prayer was over, so I followed without finding out his name or contact info in order to have a ride home. (Stake center wasn't really within walking distance). Let the stalking begin.
If you take one selfie, she's going to want to take another.
And another. And another.
Delicious family dinner at Ben/Joy's tonight. Hayley climbed on Greg and I like the sturdy koala trees we are. Derek and I lost (and by that I mean won) miserably a game of normal Uno. And Greg's GF was a no-show and is possibly made up. We'll keep you posted.