Sunday, January 29, 2017

Basketball vs. Physics: A Duel to the Death

I love basketball and this week I got to play a decent amount. My ward plays every Monday, my intramural team plays once a week, and some guys from my water polo team plays Wednesday mornings. It was all delightful and so fun except for the part where Wednesday morning I could make zero layups but any three-pointer I attempted. I hate that because I tried to make a lot more layups that should have gone in than threes.

Thursday I had some time to kill, so I hung out with Patty at Provo High and watched my friend Seth coach the freshmen boys team over there. It was a good game to watch, but they didn't come into the second half as fired as they should have been, hence a close loss. But I can kind of see Seth's strategy in their playing, which is pretty cool.

My water polo team also won and also figured out that I'm actually a good player to pick up. You're welcomeeeee. A walleyball victory continues to evade us, but I'm not even mad. I don't really like that game, probably because I've played volleyball for too long and also our team stinks. Since BYU is a Powerade-sponsored school, they gave us free shirts for the bowl game and they're actually pretty cool. They're baseball style black and gray, but they do say "Just a kid from Provo" on them...

So Physics labs. My 107 TA's are delightful and so helpful. The labs are written in a rather confusing manner, so it's nice to have someone clarify and make sure we're on the right track. My 108 TA's are another story. Both are largely unhelpful and one is a jerk. We tried to ask for help and he just said I'm not a text book, figure it out. Thanks for nothing, Curtis. It didn't help that our group was intensely determined to not finish the lab so they wouldn't have to do more work. ACon and I would rather finish fast and not waste our time. We will NOT be in their group again.

I got a free ticket to the BYU Summit Leadership Conference (including free breakfast and dinner). There were a lot of stories about overcoming challenges (a theme at BYU I think) and about finding and staying true to your purpose/goal. My favorite part was a workshop on networking. I love networking. Connecting and meeting people who have done/seen crazy things is awesome.


Cam and I templed, which was much needed and rejuvenating. Then I had a movie night with my LESS THAN mediocre projector (as I was frequently reminded). It was still good. We watched Dodgeball, which is hilarious and a classic. And I need more reliable friends.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

It Make Sense That Satan Would Control the Snow.

MLK day last week. I didn't have a chance to do a new game of Who Said It: MLK or Black Rapper?, so if you want to play, you'll just have to search up previous entries. Still one of my favorite games though.
Here's a nice picture from the Church History Museum.
And here's me face swapping with it.
Monday was a day off, so what did I do? I went to VASA and did a kick-butt power pump class that was wayyy harder than last Saturday. Then I did some HW, watched some movies, made myself some quality popcorn, and got my new calling to the publicity council (meaning I have to help make programs for church services = CAKE).
UT in the snow, as seen from a
car window while I was driving.

Tuesday I helped my Physics buds BOOK through our lab and we finished half an hour early and the TAs actually let us go because we were thorough and I had a Walleyball game. They say it's easier for me since I already took the physics class, but so far everything we've done is super basic, so I'm not sure that's it.
My favorite picture to face swap with.

Let me tell you about Walleyball. You go into a sweaty enclosed room with only a rabbit hatch entry. The entire place is a cesspool of sweat and grime, also known as the racquetball courts. We lost, mostly because of our inexperience with the game, but I'm not even mad.
Real gold Moroni. The one on the DC temple is over 20' tall.

Thursday, I did a bunch of HW and read some books. I love that iBooks offers free books all the time, because before now I've never felt a strong enough desire to sign up for a library card here. The only problem is that only the first book in the series is free, then I have to decide if I want to buy the others. Which I've done twice now, with plans to read the other series in hard copy first.
I watched the inauguration. Change is hard.
Presidents need a lot of support.
Friday I did a workout class at VASA in the morning, taught by an old mission chum, Soeur Mod. It was my favorite yet-super fun, challenging, and doable. And I felt sore for many moons afterwards.
This desk was PAINTED to look like 3 different
materials, by children. 

In celebration of my best friend's birthday, the whole gang got rounded up for some Cafe Rio. (During which I had some serious talks with Ho'o about possibly moving to Arizona.) We played Hand and Foot, although I was a little off, and had a sleepover with the more dedicated crew. After some early morning protein shakes, we set off through the snow for our own homes.
My favorite picture. I like the whole 2-partness of it.

And by that I mean, I borrowed Greg's car and went shopping, made yummy bars, and went to SLC to get a tour from Lauren at the Church History Museum, where she volunteers. The Chin would have loved it - and also the re-vamped Family History Center, from what I hear.
Here we are. In all our friendshippy glory. Love.

I ended the weekend with Papusas and a member of my favorite crepe-eating family. Also church, where ACon tried to pawn her talk off on me. Also here's half of the poem I wrote for Lauren:

The situation warrants this ode to Lauren, that’s Bellon, specified
She’s a food storage storing, near-translated Mormon, Catholic traitor on the side
She’ll recite all of Toy Story, each detail in glory, or take a rotisserie style shower,
She has Rigby-like health, moves with Mexican stealth, recites church history facts for hours
A temple/world guide, iced peas on her eyes from pre-birthday cries
Yet she somehow manages to look just fine. All the time.
She loves Malt Shoppe fries and EFY and weirdo guys
Her numbers are eights and never prime. That’s crazy.
Almost as bad as what she’d do for a baby. This lady.
She’s a bum poem rhymer, a Y mountain climber,
But please just let her change your kid’s diaper
(You won’t ever get that child back, that’s fact)
Eating corn, shorts worn, loves that one picture of Lucy Mack
She’s got a car, Orson it’s called, oh, the number of times that it’s stalled!
And she likes her tires how she likes her men: bald.
She loves my ants (aunts) and loves to pants and loves to dance
Though it’s unstable, she’ll only ever shake it on top of my table
Hand and Foot winning, wedding dress pinning,
Heaven help us when she’s due for a sinning.
She’s a flute playing gal, my very best pal, hold on, I’m only beginning
She loves the ward and loves the Lord and bubble swords
To brandish,
She tells lies and they’re always outlandish.
She’s a clothes-hole cutter, will help me clean clutter, but only if it’s late
Racko in a boat, writing down quotes, she accidentally goes out on dates
She’s usually pleasant, would be a Russian peasant
And there used to be yummy bars left on this plate.
She’s a Hawaiian-shirt wearer, a country swing-darer, love-life declaring
Ready for childbearing kind of a girl. Oh yeah, and she hurls.
Just a bit more often than I would care to admit. For reals.
She loves Thailand, and her favorite man has caused some trauma
A delicious slice, he played the Christ and dresses in pajamas
It’s either that or steal Derek, put his wife in hysterics, and start the drama.
But in the end, there are plenty of men, including one tempting offer.
We joke of forcing all courters through courses
To see how well they could handle their horses. On a 1-10 scale.
And without fail, that man would derail if her wedding location ended in ‘jail’.
But if the Fifes won’t take us to wife, we just might be doomed to a cat-centered life.
A severe exema outbreaker, state committee job-taker, all-time secret keeper
Peru mission-faker, white ISIS memory-maker, nun-loving Sacrament speaker
She’s into music video busting and liking not lusting
I finally understand how she feels when she’s bloated
Say something funny? She wrote it, it’s noted.
You think Trump is bad? Just ask her what her favorite quote is.
She’s a blood hand washer, an avid Drake and Josher,
And with her single pair of pants couldn’t get much posher.
She’ll smoke the night away, to this day, it’s Ethel not Mae, lemon juice spray,
Checking to see if we’re all ok, when Mandy gets back, she’s the one that’s not gay, a sunshining ray,
A happy birthday, why are the old men all winking “hey”
But wait. There’s still more to say. She’s lovely and funny and wild.
Not to be trusted when naming your child.
She loves late-night adventures, Thomas might wear dentures. Her hair is always impeccably styled.
And she uses that voice as she creepily sings: I can show you incredible things.
Scary mary by day, Midriff Monday to Freedom Friday, Wish that I had pie today, Wish that I had a guy today, Wish that I could buy today, all the things that fill your dreams....
Half of those things are terrifying, but I’d get them all for you.

If I wouldn’t be sent into crippling debt. So this poem will have to do.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Too Skinny. Not Good For Bearing Sons.

Sunday was my first day back in the ward and apparently we had to retake all of our pictures so they'd be matching in style. Luckily for me, my friend Ryan was taking them, so he hooked me up with a good one. Luckily for him, I actually got to go to SS and sent him updates the entire time based on whatever I was thinking about during the lesson. Needless to say, it was entertaining if not spiritually enlightening.

Tanner picked us up in his low-rider for family dinner at Ben's. It was delicious, as always. Although Hays didn't make a thousand cupcakes for us to devour this time. Funcle Aaron was there and led a game of Expose Yourself (please, there are ladies present!). Um, why does everyone think my dream car is a 15-passenger van?? Been there.

Ahh, family. Isn't about...time?

Monday marked the start of a new school year and I already hate it. I got special permission to skip two of my classes about 70% of the time because they interfere with my clinical assignment. The first 3 days of the week, I have night classes that are 3 hours long (but only once a week). After the Monday one, I went to our ward combined FHE volleyball, chips/salsa, and rootbeer float fest. I like it better when everyone has separate FHEs and only the dedicateds go to our ward sporting events.

Ryan's apartment is back to holding Waffle Wednesdays. That's how we became friends. Also I kept asking who he loved. I'm glad we're friends now because his whole apartment is so delightful. And they feed me on a regular basis.

In other news, the football training room is having a rough time. Our 14 experienced trainers were replaced with 7 less experienced ones who should know stuff, but don't know how to help someone stretch their hamstring... Also our secretary quit last minute for another job. So it's been a bit rough. There are two guys working PT with me that are fairly competent, so it could be worse.

You want to know what couldn't be worse?? By the time my intramural appointment rolled around, all the inner tube water polo schedules were sold freaking out. What. I think I found a team at this point and it'll be nice not to be the captain, but also I want to win.

I spend a lot of my free time doing HW to stay ahead in my classes. Especially the ones that I don't go to. Also studying for the BOC, and by its very nature, the QuizBowl at RMATA in April. Where we will win this year or die trying. And if we're in a van with Aaron again, the dying thing may be more serious of a threat than you think.

Also Series of Unfortunate Events season 1 came out on Netflix Friday. It's way delightful, a word which here means funny, true to the books, and enjoyable to watch despite all the terribly unfortunate events that occur in the lives of the Baudelaire orphans. I would know. I've already watched the whole thing.

And, because I have no other pictures for this week,
here's a picture of the necklace Austin Chambers bit to find out if it was real.
Verdict: Too smooth.
The Breakfast Club remains at large. We met at 7am sharp on Friday to cook up some breakfast burritos together. It's a nice way to start the day- good friends and good food.

Joshie Boy and friend Caleb went ice skating for a long time on Friday. That makes twice now that I've been on the ice. And still, I'm only really good when I go pretty fast. The guys kept trying to teach me technique, but all I have now are some nice bruises and sore hip flexors to show for my efforts.

The next morning, I went to a HIT-style class with Little Brown Girl at VASA. It wasn't bad, but my whole body was sore from skating, so it was hard to tell. I went to the tennis match for one game until they served the free pizza. Then I left to do other important things.

Like go to Joel Zae's house warming party in Orem. It was fun, except I didn't want to talk to new people, so I just played old-style Mario and ate pizza bites with Dragon and Matt. Joel told me that way more boys would be there than girls, so I should just pose sensuously and wait for them to flock, but I went home instead. Then I watched Gatsby and colored.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

We Got Ourselves a City Slicker

Quick shoutout to Chels. Congrats on the engagement. Please don't make me wear burnt orange at your wedding.

I decided I quite like vacations. This one has been my favorite so far. Everyone was actually at home for Christmas (except Kevin...) and found on the schedule were both delicious meals and the regular Hutchins shenanigans. Decluttering occurred, basketball games attended, much family and all the ridiculosity y compris. Voila:

Tuesday was my last real day at home, so I brought the childies up to Krempy's, where we enjoyed some hilarious poetry on the subjects of vomiting, dieting, and aging (see where I get it??). We also ate some great food, thanks to Mimi. And we even got back in time for Trevor's basketball game, which was killer. (The boy had 30 points!)

The Krempy, The Mimi, The Moriah. 
Wednesday I was on planes all day. After a short jaunt down to Baltimore, I had a four hour ride to SLC sitting next to a large man with excruciatingly severe body odor. (Actually those are the lyrics in Albuquerque describing the plane ride from hell. Mine only including an extremely large man and intense discomfort for the duration).

The Grandparents and I
Upon arrival, I got to catch up with the delightful Rachel May, who also helped accomplish my grocery shopping and dinner for the evening. MVP. The girl is a saint.


With nothing on the table, and no interest in studying for a test I now can't take for several months, I did a lot of relaxing. Also working out, which is why my muscles are wonderfully sore today. Also I read at least six books. Over the remainder of the week, I watched Avatar, Legend of the Seeker, the Hobbit, and Stick It, all while working on my comic book, which is coming along, however slowly. I have increasing respect for comic bookers everywhere.

I did perform at the Provo Mansion House's poetry/song night. Bryson and Tate are such flatterers, how could I refuse? After an introductory rap, I did a few pieces as noted below. I think they're rather silly, but as long as they're appreciated I'll keep performing.

Ballads and Rhymes.
Funcle Aaron was in town for the weekend, so we crashed the BYU v Pacific game, which was less entertaining because it was such a blowout. We snagged some good seats though, and caught some quality dancing.
IG pic creds: @a911h
Afterwards, the magnificent Emarie Covey and I tagged along with the in-laws to see Moana. It was pretty decent. And we only spilled half our popcorn on the ground. Emarie, as per usual, exceeded all expectations.

End. Here are the poems:

Ode to the Malt Shoppe

If you’re looking around cause you’re hungAry
Our friends all say it’s the place to be
We’ve got all the flavors from A to Z
Come down and dine at the Malt ShoppE!

The health inspections didn’t go as planned
So Susie’s cleaning wishes were our command
Just taking a look at all the rat poop we’ve found
It might just be better if it burned to the ground.

We’ve got quite a few holes in our parking lot
I don’t know if we’ll ever fix them or not
And we better not let the ice cream run low
Cause all of America will be the first ones to go.

The Malt Shoppe does have one good thing
And that’s the music the Jukebox brings
The awkward dancers are in plain sight
When you visit the Malt Shoppe each Saturday night.

Although most of our food is dripping with grease
It’s not a crime, so don’t call the police!
Why you even stop by is a mystery
To all those who work at the Malt ShoppE

There’s a Moment
New kicks slick on the court, the crowd roars
Dimples spin off fingertips, the ball soars
Sprinting upcourt, it’s less about the score
Though the crowd yells and cheers and asks for more-
There’s a moment.
A moment when you’re combing your options and the clock keeps on going, but everything seems to go in slow motion-
There’s a moment.
A moment when you know what you’ve chosen and low-key you’re Kobe and know how to be posting…up.
And it’s enough.
Scan the man-to-man as the ball’s reversed
Wingspan fans as if the plan’s rehearsed
Demand the rock, pure power bursts
Drop step, pump fake, less a need than a thirst
There’s a moment.
A moment when the court is frozen and there’s no room for hoping you’re the better opponent.
There’s a moment.
A moment when your will is focused and the moves start flowing and it’s not mechanics, it’s poet-try.
And it’s liberating.
Pouring blood, sweat, and tears into the fight
Because might, not right, wins title tonight
Fire ignites, shot’s on aim and that’s hella tight

It’s not the score, but the game, cuz ball is life.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

How do you know so much about swallows?

It was a pretty chill week. Mostly I hung out with Moriah, family MVP. She’s delightful and crazy and a fun diversion to the less fun work I’ve been doing. She’s helped me film some funny videos, accompanies me on library runs, and is always good for a game of Uno. She hugs me lots.

Who's your favorite mom? Uh...Mom. Oh, you mean Kelly D. Hutchins?
This week, she told Hannah and I, “You guys are fun. Like really, really fun.” She also asks for “the crusty crust” on a regular basis – meaning warm, crusty baguettes dipped in oil and spices. I made it once over the summer and she’s currently obsessed.

Did you know this was a thing? The old Xandino, following in my footsteps.
Moriah isn’t a big movie watcher, but for some reason she loved watching Star Wars with me on the big screen (in our family room) over the summer. She also doesn’t mind watching things on my computer or phone, apparently. I had the idea that she might appreciate Monster’s Inc. We’re 2 watches in and she’s retaining the story line fairly well.
 
Ignore my sickly-looking legs and gaze at my scruggly family.
I like them medium to high amounts.
A family activity of the break is the game Injustice. Pretty sure I’m currently the most successful, thanks to a lucky mystery character I bought who is boss. It’s simple to learn, easy to progress, and fun to compare with each other. Even Greg is playing.

It looks better in the sunshine, promise. Still pretty cool.
We visited the temple on Thursday. It was delightful being in the Hartford temple, with its colonial theme in the heart of such a historic part of the country. I also saw my alternate family, the Cramers. Also, the Bells were practically throwing cookies at us as we left. It was just so good. I love temples. Then the Chin took us out to a gourmet hamburger joint, which was also good.

Friday I dropped Hannah off at the airport and cruised on up to MA for Emily’s bball game, Aaron’s reffing, and Adam’s beard. I killed Mason at mini PIG and died last minute in our Oregon Trail card game. The only reason I even got close was because I was at meager rations, grueling pace.

My older and much wiser cousin. Who is willing to pay Mason NOT to
 shoot me with his new nerf guns. What a champ.
At various times, we looked over Guilt. In total, there are more than 3000 guilts possible. Also most of the game is relevant to the older half of the family, so I had to teach the younger kids some of our legacy.
I wish this kid was around a bit more often. If I ever make it up to Bar Harbor...
I spent New Years Eve morning on a run. Then at the local soup kitchen with everyone except the Chin, who backed out early because he thought there were too many helpers. Little did he know, once things got kicking, we were zooping around like headless chickens. We played Shannon’s game King of Tokyo, which is pretty fun. We ended with the NYE classic, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, drank some Martinelli’s, and were in bed by 12:04.

This family is a bunch of straight noodles. They’re always wigging around, playing pillow ball, and then taking communal naps all over the house. Love it.