That's What We're Talking About!

     Well here I am, in Lyon, en fin. Here's your French fact of the week: The only French sports are soccer (which is really European, but it's fairly popular here amongst the Muslim population), ballet (the word just sounds French, so I could be wrong on that one), and walking while dragging  chariot. This one is very popular amongst the older generation of women. They all have the same uniform, it's kind of like a winter coat with a huge scarf and a skirt that restricts leg movement. The prime players are under four feet tall and the taller ones hunch over to make the cut. They load their chariots down with groceries so that they can strengthen their muscles. Or to slow them down. Not really sure. But these players are everywhere and somehow I always get stuck behind them. I do admire their determination. For those who have never witnessed this phenomenon, let me describe the piece of equipment known as the chariot. It is like a cylindrical sac with two wheels on the bottom so that if you tip it at an angle, it will roll behind you. There is a handle sticking out from the top, at a height measured precisely for these short, old women. It's actually like a cart used to carry groceries because people just walk to the stores here. There you have it, straight from Lyon.

     My week was excellent. Sister Carter is great. We have a lot of fun because we are both very tall and very American and have the same hair and sense of humor. We have so many goals for this transfer; One of which is to try a different cheese every week. Tomme de Savoie is decent. Adam, still working on finding you something stinky. I also tried blue cheese this week. It made me want to throw up in my mouth. Almost as much as the fish eggs I had to eat. I was gagging. Sorry lovers of fine foods, but they are nasty. 

     Last Monday night, I was awakened around 11 to find out that two dying missionaries would be staying with us #surprise# and didn't have toothbrushes and they had to get up at 4am and shower and blow dry and straighten their hair. Welcome to Lyon STL life, Soeur Hutchins. There are two things that I guard: cereal and sleep. Other than that, take whatever you want. Haha. Tuesday we met the four new sisters: a Tahitian, an Italian, a Utah, and an Ohio. They are sweet and country shocked, even the Italian. We contacted with them and they were in awe the whole time. It was cute. Elder Ferguson hooked us up with lots of sweet supplies when we went to the office. He also said, contrary to the email you received, you have a free pass to the office. Good, because if not, I would've pretended like that was true anyways.  We did lots of planning to make sure we are being the most effective with our exchanges and the other sisters'. It's a lot of things to focus on, but so far it's fairly stress free. 

     Promise is one of our amis. He speaks English but understands really slowly. He knows all the doctrine and commandments and the only thing left is for him to have a testimony of the Book of Mormon. He wants to be baptized really bad, but we're going to review stuff with him before then. He is so funny. He always says that is what we are talking about! So I started saying that a lot whenever we talk about him. We read Nephi's collophan with him for 1.5 hours. But since then, he loves the BOM and just wants to know the story and read more and more with us. His entire disposition has changed. We meet with him every night for half an hour now to review doctrine and read some BOM. He says The questions is, what happens when they get to the promised land? That is what we are trying to find out. Yes, Promise, that is what we are talking about. It's funny because he really is very childlike and so we have to go really slow with him and I keep almost calling him Patience, because that's what I pray for when I teach him. Whenever he gets to the Institute building before us, he calls and asks Where are you people? Maybe you have to hear him say that to think it's funny. He came to the baptism of Yoyo on Saturday for the Gerland Elders who have never planned a baptism before. High stress. They didn't fill the font enough and her dress was really floaty, so it took her seven times to be baptized! After two, we ushered our amis out of the room and said Woo! It's good! 

     Then we sang songs for a really long time and kept seeing Elder Gruber run back and forth with a huge bucket of water. This whole time I am translating and teaching Promise on one side and teaching Moussa on the other. He is a Muslim man who found us and wanted to learn more about who Jesus Christ is. He comes to pretty much everything and we had a really great RDV with him and we're working on helping him feel the spirit and get a testimony of Jesus Christ so that he will be prepared to change. 

     Also this week, we helped the new trainers get off to the Gare. Meaning I saw Elder Martinez Conde and Elder Lago. Who I love. They are really solid. Elder Martinez Conde wrote a testimony in a BOM for me. Then, I insisted on helping him and his collegue get on their train because I'm really strong and we found a family of 11 who live in Lyon but are visiting Geneve for a few days and got their number. Miracles. 

     Another time we were at the Gare, some guy came up to me and said hey I met you like six weeks ago and I lost your card. No problem. We had a RDV with him and it was really good for a bit. He really was asking the perfect questions, but something was off, so we'll see what comes of him. Elder Schneider was there for part of it too and said he was a little creeped out too. It might be the fact that he's Algerian and everything they do is super intense or it could be the Spirit. Either way, on ecoute et on verra. With all the people staying in our apt, we were able to learn River dancing and tap dancing. So expect us to be pros in about a week. 

     Another fun fact. Everyone apparently has an animal and a vegetable. Sister Carter said I would be chard. Great. Anyways, that's about all I have time for. Stay strong. Prepare to serve a mission. Be crazy.

Je Fais Ce Que Je Veux

     Well in France, all public bathrooms are payant. That means I don't go to the bathroom very often. 

Last Monday, we went to this ghetto store called Noz. It is kind of like Joblot, I guess. That's where our matching cheetah print earmuffs were found. But I also found a calandar of Meerkats. This is funny because Elder Fox is one of the assistants and Soeur Jones and I always wanted to call him Elder (insert various woodland creature here). Meerkat came up most frequently, despite the fact that it is not actually a woodland creature. Also porcupine, but I don't know what that's about. Anyhow, I bought this calendar for two euros and then wrote scriptures and meerkat facts on all the pictures. Then I gave it to Elder Fox. He laughed. I also used an old Liahona to wrap it and the front page I used was a picture of a welcome home party for an Elder. So it was funny because he goes home in two days. Hehe. I'm so funny. 

     We had a great FHE by...us! We used some Prechez Mon Evangile and taught them how to study the scriptures before reenacting the story of Ammon. This brings back good memories of throwing fake arms back and forth as Greg swung a sword in front of a camera. Good times, good times. On the way home, we met a guy sitting in a parking lot in a big white van waiting for a rendez-vous. His name is Miguel and he seemed really cool
despite the super creepy circumstances. I did an exchange with the STLs. I was with Soeur Vidal. she's great. We had a rendez-vous in Spanish one time and I was frustrated. I could understand it enough and I don't remember at all how to speak it. Mince. We also met a young nerdy guy named Boris who doesn't believe in God, but thinks that Mormons are great and loves the Spirit he feels here. And another guy who now has  baptismal date and wants a triple combo. He's great and funny. 

     We met with Cloe who is completely changed by the baptism on Sunday. She felt the Spirit so strong and says everything is super clear now. She quit her work, she understands the scriptures better, and is completely willing to follow all commandments. She is the best. We also stopped by Soeur Ziveri's house and Ludowic was there! We taught him and got his new phone number and he's back on the engage list for baptism. Solid. We were able to meet with the Faria family. They are the best still. They have testimonies and just got burnt out from church. But I still love going over there. We actually took Soeur Feuvrier, the new RS President with us and they hit it off great. One time Soeur Jones said being quiet isn't her forte. And Soeur Miller asked why we have sealant in our house and I said because we don't have the pretrise. Or a temple. We are so funny. We ate pumpkin pie and lava cake and drown in our sorrows over transfer calls. And by sorrows, I really mean all the water flooding out of our washing machine. Oops. And also our sorrows because Soeur Jones and I are both leaving. We were freaking out because the rest of the weekend depended on that. She is going to Toulouse and making her comp happier. Soeur Koyle is going to stay and get Soeur Young the redhead and probably make her happier. Soeur Howden is staying and training. And I am going to Lyon to be an STL with Soeur Carter. They don't know what they're in for.

 

     We decorated for our activity with Frere Picard. He needs an excuse to get out of his house every now and again. And he said he will cry for more than the allotted three minutes because I am leaving. Don't worry. He has lots of pictures of me. But who doesn't? Haha. Seriously. We streetboarded and everyone was really cranky. Then we ate lunch with the DuCoeur family and Laurent. Frere DuCoeur started crying as soon as we got there. He also said anyone who tries to take away the people he loves better watch out. Then he pointed to the sky and said Attention, eh? He is so funny. We had a great lunch with lots of potatoes. Then we ran over to the church for our

Karaoke dance party. Guesses who planned that one? Haha. I love missionary work. We had games in the back for all the older people and the walls were decorated like iTunes people and it was just really great. Hadidja came and said she actually wants to come to church the next day! What a miracle! We had ward conference and there was a ton of people there. Hadidja and her family, Cloe, Ludowic, and Laurent were all there. Elder Lala was there too because he's French and he's waiting for a surgery, so he's living with his family and his mom is a stake leader. We ate dinner at the Landres and learned how to make books to put all of our guns in and how to taste wine, and we held his snakes. They are the best. We also went to the Millers' house. Soeur Miller let us play the whipped cream game. Elder Miller was kind of mad. But Soeur Miller loves us enough to deal with whipped cream stains on the ceiling. And a toilet seat picture frame. Haha. They're great. The DuCoeurs drove us to the Gare with all our bags and cried on our shoulders for at least fifteen minutes. Then Soeur Jones and I made plans to eventually be Assistants together. Now I am in Lyon. Life is a party, my friends. Enjoy it.

Tout le Monde Doivent Etre Baptise

     Frenchie Factoids: They recently acquired peanut butter and Reeses and Oreos. They're all still rare, but the younger generation likes them. 

     Last Monday, we had another not-really Pday. Meaning, we studied, wrote emails, and then did work. We didn't even have time to buy food or do laundry. We did go to Macon and visit with a less active, Samuel Berthier in his new apartment. He keeps saying he feels it's time for a change and so we keep trying to give him ideas :) Also, he says every now and again he flips open the Book of Mormon to a random page and picks a verse to find inspiration. Well I printed him off a talk and he skimmed through it and said it reminded him of his Book of Mormon reading because just skimming through it, he already found something super helpful. Yeahhhh, Spirit.

wise men

  

   Then, thanks to Soeur Howden's knowledge of obscure holidays, we dressed up as the wise men (Rois Mages) and went over to the Landre's house. Soeur Landre has been having a rough time lately because she doesn't really have a filter and now her daughter-in-law is upset with her. But we cheered her right up and we got rid of some gifted incense in one shot, so I felt good about it. Frere Landre, famed get-away-car driver, drove us to the church in five minutes and we had FHE. We introduced them all to the game of Pictionary. They didn't really understand it, because I pulled out words like "Macon", "Chalon", and "Resistance". The worst. We ended in a tie. Then we had Gallet de Rois, which is one of those cakes with something hidden inside and whoever finds it is the king. 

     We randomly passed by Claudia, our Romanian ex-engagee, this week and she read in her BOM! The problem is that she still doesn't really understand, but we read with her and it's a lot better and she says it makes complete sense. We recieved several calls from amis and members this week saying not to go to a certain area of town called the Zupe. Then we actually took their advice. Hence, I am still alive.

     We went up to Beaune to visit Soeur Ziveri. It is her New Year's Resolution to come to church every week and she said she will accomplish that by not doing anything and waiting for me to find her rides. Hm. She has a new dog named Elvis, which really is not surprising. She loves Elvis Presley. But she already has too many animals in her house. It's a zoo where all the animals roam free. It's terrible. Nobody wants to be stroked by a cat tail in the face in the middle of saying a prayer. Nobody. 

     I pulled a Mary Poppins this week by turning contacting into a game. Now, Soeur Koyle actually thinks this game exists and everyone knows about it. Not true. I made it up. It's called: Contact ALL the People. You walk down the street and contact all the people. She likes this game. She doesn't know we actually play it every day. I'm so tricky. 

     I also had a brilliant idea for decorations for our Karaoke party on Saturday. I was thinking of what we could put on the walls and here's what I thought of: iTunes. Feel it? Like those brightly colored people that dance in their ads. Except the people are just us and they don't move because they're made of paper. 

     We had a district meeting in Dijon which was seriously improved compared to the past. I know how to get there and so we actually met the Elders on the tram. Then Elder Vira got on the wrong bus and Elder Holding just let it happen. We kind of had to follow because they had the keys to the church, so we couldn't get in anyways. Then, Laurent was supposed to have a baptismal interview and Elder Vira took the wrong train. He used to have a companion that would stop him from getting on the wrong transportation, but Elder Holding just follows him and lets him make mistakes. Elder Vira kind of just gets on the first train he sees. Don't do that. Don't be that guy. Nobody will like you. And you will spend a lot of extra money that is SACRED. Thanks.

me and Cloe

     Anyways, Soeur Jones was stressing out, as per usual with missionaries before baptisms. We kind of all just run around like chickens with our heads cut off. And then Soeur Howden falls down the stairs. Yikes. After a lot of freaking out, we got permission for Elder Miller to just do the interview. Afterwards, Laurent called me to tell us how it went and said It went well. I passed. Elder Miller said if I persevere, I might, hopefully, probably, be somewhat happy someday. Well duh. You will for sure. Sometimes, Laurent is funny and says I will die in five minutes. And then we tell him NO! You don't have the right! You need to be baptized, confirmed, go through the temple, serve a mission, get married in the temple, have a large family, grow them in the gospel and then once they all move out and you have grandchildren, you can die. 

     We went to Tournus to do some service for the Koster family, who has the shelf of give-away Bibles. We painted some shutters (which people actually use in France) and walked their dogs for them. I walked the big one and thought to myself, Self, you should just walk this giant dog every morning for exercise-you'll run the whole time and get a good arm workout from holding the leash. Joke's on me, missionaries can't keep pets. Found out Soeur Koyle burnt her house down twice. 

     Then we had a lesson with Lewis, who also read the Book of Mormon for us. We had a good lesson after we repaired damage from the beginning when Soeur DuCoeur started explaining that he was black because his ancestors were wicked. French people, ai yi yi. He understands the gospel a lot better. Unfortunately, next lesson, I'm probably going to have to straight up tell him the priest who baptized him didn't have authority. That'll be interesting and really hard. I think he knows, but is really resistant to the idea.

     Saturday, we had a Young Adult activity at Agathe's house. And by that, I mean the missionaries, Agathe, and Laurent. We all ate lunch and looked at mission photos and listened to conversion stories. We had a spiritual thought and played Wacky Sixes. I loved it. Get this, family. Apparently it can only be bought in UT. We also had them trace themselves on bright paper for us for the Karaoke night. We came back and made a BUNCH of cookies and prepared for Sunday.

 

   

Laurent's baptism

Baptism days are rough. Always. There's so much to bring and do. And of course, we were doing everything at church. Teaching RS, teaching Gospel Principles, doing a 20 minute Sacrament program. Narrated by myself. That was really good because it helped the members to really feel the spirit, got Beatrice to come to church, and gave me a chance to say I don't care if you've read the BOM a thousand times, read it again and do Moroni's promise. I like those times. Everyone came up to me afterwards and told me it was great. Thank you, Spirit of the Lord. Cloe was also there. After church, we got everything ready and went up to the baptism. I was in charge of making sure Laurent arrived sans probleme. Also, Frere DuCoeur came and hugged me and said I was like his daughter and then told me all about how grateful he is that Laurent is living with them right now and that they hug all the time. Cute. Anyways, so we brought Cloe and Soeur Koyle and I up with Laurent. I distracted him from freaking out by helping him sing "Baptism" and "Les Anges dans nos Compagnons", his favorite songs. Also telling ridiculous stories and showing him my translation of Here Comes the Oxcart into French. We got to Dijon and freaked out some more and waited for everyone else to get there. Eventually we started and it went well. Laurent and an 8 year old, Lea were baptized together. The talk on baptism was done by her apostate and less-active mother and was really good for her. The other talk was by Soeur Jones (I got kicked off the program when the Osmonts said they wanted Lea to be baptized the same day). We sang Baptism for him. They were baptized and life is good. Cloe said she would be less stressed at her baptism and I said I won't. It was really good and exhausting. Plus the fact I haven't had a decent P day in a while. On the way home, Laurent conveniently missed the stop to Beaune to drop Cloe off. So he dropped us and Soeur Feuvrier off in Chalon and drove Cloe home all by himself. Hehe. Plan du Salut, anyone? 

We're Not MoTab

I love cheetahs

     Frenchie Fact: Raclette-This is one of the better French dishes slash inventions. Essentially, you have a grill with two layers. The top layer is pretty flat and used for cooking meats. The second layer has these special little shovel-type-things that are made to melt square slices of pretty mild French cheese. You bake a potato, cut it up, cook your meat and put it on the potato, melt the cheese and eat it all together. You probably have to melt 5 or 6 slices of cheese before you finish your potato. Repeat.

     Let me tell you how grateful I am for all my musical abilities. Which aren't very many, but I've already used all of them. In Annecy, I was the ward pianist. Beatrice's heart has been opened to the missionaries since I impressed with my skills at tickling the ivories. That's as far as it got before this week, then everything exploded. Life as you know it in Chalon will never be the same. Our ward loves singing. Every now and again someone just plays the piano and slowly people congregate and start singing hymns together. The French as a whole are not the best singers, but they love singing. Anyways, I think the Millers mentioned that church groups singing at nursing homes is a thing in the U.S. In France-definitely not a thing, and probably with good reason. I love these people, but not so much their voices.Sacrament meeting can get rough sometimes. But the ward got wind of this nursing home singing thing and decided they wanted to do it. The Landres as per usual decided to take charge. There was an after-church practice that was...sub-par. (Does that mean good or bad? I don't play golf. Sorry. Kind of.) Anyways, the lady with the nursing home connection went and talked to them and at first they were against the idea, but eventually they agreed to let the six missionaries go. We're all American, n'inquietez pas. Monday we went and sang. Sister Jones was on piano, I had some guitar thrown in there and it turned out to be a general collaboration of goodness. We have a few altos, a few sopranos, a tenor (and backup tenors if necessary). And we all have decent voices. I won't go any higher than decent. We aren't MoTab. But people were crying all over the place and the workers there were thrilled and said the inmates (can you call them that?) had never been so calm. Anyways, it worked out well. So well that Elder Miller suggested that we do some singing at our New Years Day feast with the Chambrions. They wanted all six of us there anyways. Frere Chambrion is the second counsellor in the Branch Presidency and Sister Chambrion is a less active who is uncomfortable feeling the Spirit, so naturally, we decided to give her an extra strong dose. In Preach My Gospel, it tells you to teach the members the lessons, especially the Retablissement. Yours truly, co-leader of this motley crew, was inspired with the idea to combine Preach My Gospel with Elder Miller's idea and teach Retab through song. Weird. Never thought I would do this. But while in the process, I remembered a recent letter from Dad who talked about some missionary musical program going over really well. Anyhow, we had a 15 minute program of music and a narrated lesson by myself in between songs and during the piano introduction. It went really well. Elder Miller cried. He also didn't want to sing, so it was us four and Sister Miller. That went over so well that Frere Chambrion and Elder Miller decided that we needed to perform this for Sacrament Meeting. So next week, we are having a Retab-themed Sacrament meeting starring the missionaries and also some guy that lives in Africa. We're not MoTab. We're the Jupeuses. I guess you have to know French to think that's funny. So here's a little lesson. Jupes are skirts, which we are required to wear. If you add "eur" on the end of a verb, it turns into someone who does that action. For example tuer (to kill) changed to tueur (killer). Voila. Furthermore, changing the final "r" to "se" makes it feminine. The French live off jokes like these, so the better you know French, the more sophisticated jokes you can make. Anyways, we're just a group of female skirt-wearers. That sing decently well and preach the gospel. 

Christmas marchet

     FHE has kind of turned into a mess, so the missionaries are taking it over. Woo! Everyone was banned for having it at the church because President Catagni kept hearing too many complaints about who was coming and drama. So we had it at the Miller's. It was great. A ton of people came and it was just a party. This week, we're allowed to have it at the church again, as long as the missionaries stay in charge. I'm ok with that. Saves the drama and all we do is assign everyone else to do things. And make it more fun. Elder Miller banned us from using the word hobo (although mostly we just use it to refer to us and people who actually are hoboes). Apparently it reminds him of when the rich members of the church cast out the poor. Vagabonds, it is, and we will still continue to love and welcome all of them into our gospel discussions. We had a great district meeting this week. Last week, Elder Vira asked me to give a talk at it, but he lied. Then he found out that I really was ready to go (I AM an Eagle Scout) and I think he felt bad and told me I just didn't give it because our ZLs were there. I don't see how that changes anything, but whatevs. Soeur Jones and I are ready next week. The Millers made us a delicious meal of a potato bar with chili and a mushroom sauce. Delicious. Best potatoes I've had. I really like potatoes. Our whole ward knows it. We went on an exchange because our equip had too many people to teach. So I took Soeur Jones and her investigator, Laurent to Beaune to visit Cloe. There were several motives behind this, we want them to know there are other young people like them, we wanted Laurent to testify to Cloe about his experiences, we want them to be friends at church together, and also we want to set them up. Missionary Matchmakers, anyone? We warned Laurent ahead of time and were just joking around with him because he's really socially awkward, like most French people. After the RDV he asked, Plan of Salvation, you know it or not? Yes.... Stop making the Plan of Salvation with me and Cloe! The funniest thing. But also sad, because neither of them thinks they have a very good chance to get married and all they want are eternal families. 

     Yves is still using his electronic cigarette (not technically against Word of Wisdom, but still bad).And he thinks it's impossible to quit. We had a really good lesson reading the story of Nephi going to get the plates. The French are very set in their ways. Good thing I'm here to snap them out of this iron cage they've built themselves into. Honestly. We went to meet Frere Picard at his house. Apparently, we're the first missionaries to get in. What can I say, I do what I want. And invite myself over to everyones' houses. Anyhow, turns out his neighbors are using his house to stash all their illegal drug equipment. Poor guy. He's just a nice old man possible with mental problems and has no idea what is going on. We met Soeur Guyon at the nursing home and gave her the sacrament with the Millers and Frere Landre. She actually wrote her testimony for Frere Landre to share on Sunday. And it was beautiful. Laurent got a blessing because he has so many trials in his life and is feeling really depressed. As missionaries, there are two things that we know-Laurent will have a beautiful family one day and he will be a great leader in the gospel. Neither of those were expressed in the blessing, but we know. He's really having a rough time. 

Hadidja

     We went over to Hadidja's for her birthday. She keeps saying she wants us to go home really fat. I hate that. But we didn't eat any of her food and escaped after only 30 minutes-record time. We did sing to her and she cried. Les voix des anges, you know? Oh and one time we met this gent on the street, thirties to forties and balding. He seemed like a cool and funny guy for a minute. Then he said he would only learn about the gospel if he could buy us drinks. He also asked for Hannah's number. Sorry. Earlier in the convo I showed him a picture of the family and he said give me her number and I said Ew no! She's 15! I know you're not really, but you are too young for this old creepster. Sorry. Vive la France. Also, we got to see Claudia again and she read in the Book of Mormon and understands nothing, but ca viendra! And we met with Beatrice again. Still resisting even though she knows the church is true. It's the worst. Satan, you clown. 

     I had a lesson with our ami in Paris because the missionaries there haven't been so effective at meeting with him. Turns out he thinks God created us to be slaves and to torture us. I almost cried. Almost.

 

     We had our first day of three hour church and it was so good! Also we had a branch council meeting. Here's what happened. Essentially, I mentioned an activity coming up. President Catogni, who asked us to do it, forgot about it. Elder Miller, who we've talked to several times about it forgot about it. Frere Landre who we've also talked to about it several times forgot about it and started planning a different activity that he wants us to do all the planning and work for because we're missionaries and we have so much time. Wrong. President Catogni half-jokingly said I was undisciplined and told Frere Landre to control his missionaries. Frere Landre half-jokingly said I really only have a problem with one. There really isn't a problem because Agathe is mainly in charge of the activity, so it requires little effort from us. The problem is that all of our leaders really don't listen to what we say and think that we should do all these activities and take so much time to prepare for them. I am still a little irked. I will be a good missionary. I will preach the gospel. I will work hard. But I will not spend all my meal times cutting out paper masks and decorating the church for the rest of my mission. Especially when this branch needs to become less, and not more, reliant on the missionaries. Call me undisciplined, but I do what I want. And have been voted by the other missionaries to speak for all of us so that the branch doesn't give us all their work to do. Yikes. Sorry for the rant. The church is true and the leaders are great. Just a lot of misunderstandings going on. Agathe was teasing me all day for being undisciplined. She's great. And going on a mission in April and letting us bring our young adults over to her house Saturday. Party!