Garnett steals the Gold

Here's a fact about the Frenchies for you. They clear the table after every meal. Imagine doing that in our family! Ten courses worth of dishes times twelve people and no dishwasher. And by that I mean, ten dish washers. Love it.

We returned to the Park Tete D'Or for P-day last week. This just happens to be the only place we've found with a decent amount of grass. So we frolicked and rejoiced, running hither and thither amidst all the various species. It was fun. First, we played a mixture of volleyball and soccer. Then things got really serious with some handball. And by that I mean ultimate Frisbee with a deflated volleyball. We won-no surprises there. On est la pour fragger. Then we had a picnic and played some more Monopoly Deal. A solid day. We also went to Vieux Lyon to try to find some gonfles. Aka waffles. But to no avail. We did, however, enter into a bookstore. I loved it. All the books were almost as ancient as all of the bookkeepers-with their long white hair and spectacles sliding down to the edge of their noses. We did not find the gonfles, but we were harassed in the streets by a hostess at a restaurant. We were walking by and she was waiting for the rest of a group to come. During which time, she started downing our religion and everything that we love. By the end of our conversation, her views had changed and she felt more appreciative of our work. When she wanted to stop talking, she said Sorry, I have to work. But feel free to come back as a customer. No thanks. 

We only did two exchanges this week and they were both a little weird. Our ami Jean-Gide has stopped responding to us because he got his thesis back and he has to do some corrections on it. Promise, our other ami, is now in the hospital. We did have a great lesson with Marie-France and her family. We taught them about Lehi's dream and how they have to hold on to the iron rod (pray, read scriptures, etc) in order to get to happiness at the other end. Otherwise, you fall into the fosse. I carried a 20kg bar around all day so that we could do an activity with them. My comp and I held the bar up and said, ok, for every day you prayed this week, you can hold on to the bar with one finger. The ground is lava. (Remember that game? Still happens whenever I have a balloon.) So they held on with two or three fingers and we shook the bar until they fell off. In other words, pray more so that you can find happiness and so that you won't get burned. They liked that one. The Olympics continue here in Lyon. We had two competitions this week, the first of which were perfect lessons. Ten points for every time you sing, have a member, tech in under thirty minutes, and fix another RDV. We won. We were also on exchange that day. Cheating is allowed as long as you don't get caught. And we 'fess up every time they ask. The second was area book work. 3 points per RDV fixed with amis from the area book and 2 pts if you can get a member there. We got bronze. We also didn't have time for area book work.

 

We met with an Italian family called the Piscitellos that fed us lasagna. It was delicious. And they are a delightful family. They also sent us home with leftover lasagna and lots of cake. We helped Soeur Bonnamy do her visiting teaching to a woman with a degenerative disease. Soeur Bonnamy is awesome. Both of these families have young men and women, for which we were planning an activity for Saturday. Due to a few...hangups, we only ended up having three kids there. And we planned all these great minute to win it games, but turns out if you just leave them in a room with a balloon, they'll have fun. They just need excuses to hang out. Especially Thomas and Mathilde. And Thomas knows that we know. Hehe. Missionary Matchmakers, hey-oh. In other news, we went to Vennisseux this week, which is technically red-zoned. But we were trying to find another family with kids. They don't live there anymore, but we met a cool lady there. And here's the relay winner-yesterday after church we got on the metro with a kid with a Celtics jersey on. He is legit. Obviously I contacted him and we had a great conversation and we're already planning on nurturing his friendship with Emmanuel, another legit young adult in the area. Rejoice while you can in the brevity of this email. My brain is scattered and I need to go play some ball in the park again. A bientot!

Nothing Brain

French fact today will consist of various phases you say in French translated into English. Me, I'm French, me. Skinny what! It's like this: hold a thumbs up. Don't you inquiet yourself. To just list a few.

Now here's some news about life as an STL. You do exchanges every other day with sisters and spend the whole time giving and trying to help them realize what great missionaries they are and how they can improve. You pass between weeks when you are essentially homeless and others when you sleep in a barracks with 8 triple bunk beds. The first day of the transfer, Soeur Carter pulled open a drawer and said This is the panic drawer. You're going to need this. Any guesses what was in there? Tissues and lots of chocolate.

Three-mattress princess abode

 Shoutout to Grannie B, whose recent package made a nice addition to our rapidly depleting stores. I must admit I've used this drawer a lot more for myself than for the sisters. Sometimes your brain just can't handle it. Often, we've been a state of panic where we can't do everything we need to and we just kind of freak out. For example, when you have to go on two exchanges in a row with only an hour in between and you also find out that you have to house some sisters who are staying the night. Surprise. This is what my brain is. A mess. I have so much in my head and it's literally exploding like when you turn on the jets in a hot tub with bubble bath mix. It's so good though. I love it. My brain needs a challenge to help me sleep at night. And boy, have I been sleeping at night. The advantage of having 20 extra beds not always in use is that there are extra mattresses. One bed remains from before the STL time and it is a bunk bed with a bottom that turns into a couch. Now it has two extra mattresses on top. Call me a princess, but I need what sleep I can get. 

Soeur Francis and Fahl

Last P Day we went to the office and played Monopoly Millionaire. What a great game. Family favorite of the Asay family. Little did they know or understand that I now play all games with Totally Insane Rules, a.k.a. cheating is allowed as long as you don't get caught. I also play in teams. Needless to say, my team won. This game comes highly recommended for all Monopoly lovers who have never finished a game. It rained all day. Really hard. I slept at Ecully because I was on exchange with Sisters Francis and Fahl. Interesting note. Sister Francis is from England and is delightful. Sister Fahl is from Germany and spent a year living in Lindon, Utah as an exchange student. Any guesses who she lived across the street from? Uncle Ben, who helped teach her the missionary discussions. She loves ya Ben. And they are both wonderful missionaries. 

On our exchange, we ran a 5K. Which is funny because later in the week, a random guy was bragging and telling me he can run a 5K when he's in shape. Anyhow, we had a tombez-vous and so we practiced teaching a member. Who told us his favorite job ever was as a pallbearer because it was a no-stress environment. Yikes! We also found a laminated picture this week of some girl hugging Jesus in the heavens. It's really creepy. So Sister Carter has hidden it in several places for me to find. The shower. Hanging over my bed. The great thing is that here in Gerland, we're high stress, but we're both stress killers. It works out well. 

A random guy!

This week another layer of stress was added when our Zone Leaders decided to start some Missionary Olympics in favor of the real Olympics I didn't even know were happening. What does this mean? We have to win and do it creatively. Game one-1pt per contact, 5 per RDV fixed, 10 for RDVs fixed with members. As we were on exchange that day, we conveniently gauged the competitive-ness of our opponents. They didn't even remember. Event two has been my favorite so far-1pt for making someone smile, 10 for unplanned service or giving goodies, and you can double your score one time by taking a picture with someone on the street smiling. This is my favorite contacting. All we do is be the happy people we are and people flock to us. It's great. Also, we ended up winning with like 960 pts, second was our DL with 280, and third was the last equip in our district with 180. In other words, our district is the best. I'm all for team sports, man. So Sunday, we were on a team with our district and one other. It was to fix the most RDVs with members and plan the most lessons with members present. Cake. Everyone has to set up two RDVs with us to have us both over at their houses because we're always on exchange. And we had weekly planning this day. 

We had the opportunity to visit the Beaux-Arts Museum this week. I was reminded of the days of my youth when I decided to not go on a class field trip in favor of going to a Monet exhibit with my mom. I was a weird kid. But I was also impressed with my knowledge and interest in the arts of all time periods. My favorite picture was one that I believe dictated early Christian knowledge of the Godhead as three separate persons and also the forecoming apostasy. 

Jean-Gide is great and is preparing to be baptized soon. His family is in Congo I think and coming soon to France and he is teaching them the lessons over Skype! I love families. Promise is also going to be baptized soon and he is wonderful as well. He is from Nigeria and understands really simply, but he really has a testimony of God and Jesus Christ. We spent a lot of time this week listening. Listening to inactives tell us about their problems because they know we can't do anything and we won't tell anyone the gossip. Listening to Zone Conference. This is great, except for the two hour discussion that gave me a flashback to Sports Nutrition class and nobody else there understood. I know all about monosaccharides and polyunsaturated fats. Thank you Soeur Povar for the lecture. Apparently simple teaching was not a theme for this conference. What was a theme? Love. The greatest commandment, but the one we spend the least time on. It was so good. What was also good was the chance to talk to President Roney. It was interviews conference again. He began by saying there are over 20 missionaries, if you each take 30minutes, we'll be here all day. So, we'll have to be frugal. Then he cleverly had me go first. Then Soeur Carter. Then everyone else. Because he knows we have questions for him and he loves answering them and asking us other questions to think about. And so do we. 

Saturday, Soeur Jones sent me a text reminding me of my nine month mark. I'm trying to forget about it. Drowning my sorrows in French pastries and all that. Haha. I went on another exchange with Soeur Rohndahl from Sweden. She's funny. We had our group discussion again that went slightly less well than last time. But we did have a brief FHE type lesson with Mary France and her family that went super well. We left with several return RDVs set and everyone was happy. I hope you are too. Have a great week.

Gaspar the Ferret

     French Factoidddd: Boulangeries in France are about as common as Dunkin Donuts in New England, if not more. This week, we had the opportunity to eat some patisseries for an Elder's birthday. Our ZLs told us all to meet at "Chez Pat's" and sing to Elder Hladky. So we did. We were also on exchange, so we brought two other sisters with us. Patisseries, in this case, refers to painstakingly decorated and masterfully handcrafted pastries that are melt in your mouth good. Unless you choose a bad one. Which is near impossible.

     Last Monday for P day we went bowling. It was Elder Schneider's turn to decide what we would do, so we just let it go. Although let it be known that all future P days will be spent doing things especially French. And Soeur Carter and I didn't want to play a game of normal bowling, so we made up CHALLENGE ROUNDS: flamingo, blind/partner bowling, moonwalk, granny, professional, speed, and no holes. Soeur Carter and I ended in a tie-how's that for companionship unity? Ahhh yeah. Elder Johnson, who was struggling from the get-go, doubled his score in the last round with two strikes and a spare. Wow. And for left-handed bowling, Elder Schneider had to support his left arm with his right hand in order to hold on to the ball. Oh, the French. 

     That night we headed up to Clermont-Ferrand for an exchange. Soeur Green and I spent an entire day looking for a woman who we had met in Lyon. The bus we needed was rerouted due to construction so it didn't stop anywhere on the way to her house. It took about three hours to get there walking. On the way, we met a super nice lady who gave us directions and will be a member some day. She just loves her family so much. We also tried to sign up at a funerarium. I've always wanted to do that, but for whatever reason, my tag or my yellow raincoat, they said no. We took the bus back and got there in like twenty minutes. 

     We stopped by the great and abominable church. And by that I mean a huge, Gothic cathedral built out of black, volcanic rocks. Yikes.  Then we found a less active's house.While we were talking with him from the hallway, a lady came down and told us she called the gendarmerie on us because we didn't have the right to be there. Typical. We got back later than planned with the only keys to the apartment, so Soeur Carter and Soeur Hiltinen had to wait for us. Then I found a Hood scarf left in the dead pile. Snatched that right up. It's a scarf with a hood built in. And it came in handy the next morning when we left the apartment at 5.20 am. We got back to Lyon, showered, and went to a genealogy meeting with Frere Léporé. Turns out the Soeurs Carter and Hiltinen weren't the only ones stuck outside of their apartment the night before. Elders Schneider and Johnson locked their keys inside. They called some guy to come help them out. In Elder Schneider's words: It was the first hit on Google-sketchymuslim.com. He said they almost couldn't get a receipt from him and he only took cash. 

     That night we had another exchange with Chalon 1. My daughter's equip. Soeur Koyl said I wasn't hard to recognize because she knew I'd either wear a giant Russian coat or a bright yellow rain coat. True. We had some solid lessons with our ami Moussa who we're going to give to Ecully soon and Promise who will be baptized soon. Together, Soeur Koyle and I went to La Verpelliere and found some maps of the area. We visited a less active and did some porting. People were very friendly there. Also, I will send out a picture of the less active. Let me know which movie character you think he looks like.

     We dropped off the sisters right before English class. During which, I told the story of being chased by a rooster. They loved it. After, during our spiritual thought, we taught about families and one guy started asking all these great questions about the Plan of Salvation, so we scheduled our whole English class for an appointment.

     We also saw Emmanuel on the metro and got a pizza from him. He's the best. He asked us to start a petting zoo with him. Turns out it was a joke. Mince quoi. 

     We met a recently moved in LA, soon to be reactivated, and met with Soeur Cholet the nonmember coming to church for twenty years, and Pascale. And btw we were on exchange again, this time with Dijon. Soeur Floisand and I ate at Pascale's and supported her desire to get her patriarchal blessing. We found a woman named Aghosta in Villefontaine and taught her family a lesson. Her sister is unbelieving, but she and her family are very believing. The daughter, Princess, was really excited to get a BOM in French. Aghosta was psyched for one in English. And we were psyched to have this wonderful family to teach. She also showed us a more convenient bus to take to get to chez-elle and to another member's house. We took it the wrong way though because it wasn't actually marked on the sign and probably my brain was falling out of my skull by the end of all these exchanges. 

 

So we did some more porting. We met a Buddhist woman who was very delightful and approved of our approach. We had church with Jean-Gide and Promise there. Promise wanted to sit with Elder Asay, so Elder Asay translated a lesson on Joseph Smith for Promise into english. Yes. We raided the old Gerland apartment to get our cheese raper back. We needed it because we made zucchini bread this week and had to shred it ourselves. Then we met with a man named M. Gayet. He was delightful and showed us all these old photos he took from WW2. He was an impeccable photographer. His pet ferret Gaspar escaped because he knows how to open the door. He told me I could hold him. So I did. I used to want a ferret. Still do probably. So I was playing with Gaspar and half listening to this old man talk about him. Then he says, Oh yeah and he doesn't like women. And SNAP! Gaspar the ferret bites my hand. I love ferrets. At least he didn't pee on me. One more thing. This week, we saw a man checking the walls in our building. By this I mean I light brushed a section of wall with one hand, held up a flashlight, and called it good. Next floor. Vive la France. 

Faith vs. Logic (vit fait)

     Frenchie Factoid: So you know how in Brasil, people shake their hand and snap their fingers together really loud? I can't do that. But it's ok, because in France they do the same thing but without snapping! It's like the weak sauce version of Brasilian snapping. There's part one. Part two presented itself when I asked the other missionaries in this internet cafe what werid thing I could send you this week and Elder Schneider, bonifide Frenchman, said Why don't you just describe the situation right now? So here it is. Picture this: I'm sitting in an internet cafe run by several Muslim men with children apprentices. Sometimes they are tired and decide not to open this store until later, it really depends on how they're feeling. Today, they felt good. We are typing on a ridiculous keyboard where you have to press shift to type any kind of punctuation or number. Here's the best part- we get to listen to Another Sad Love Song and various other oldies that aren't my favorite but make me laugh. Buckle up your seatbelt, because it is about to get crazy up in here. Vive la France.

Quotes of the week. 

1. Me: You know what must have really stunk? The period of time between when the Bible was changed and the Book of Mormon was brought forth. Soeur Carter: Yeah, that's why they call it the Great Apostasy. 

2. Soeur Carter: Our problem is that people just don't realize that we are representatives of Jesus Christ. Me: Well Elders wear those classy suits. Soeur Carter: And we're just fumpy women!

3. Text from Emmanuel: May the parakeet, the sacred bird, fly always over your head.

4. Text from Tran: I don't know if I can go to church tomorrow. I get home at 030 and by the time I am done washing and drying my hair, its 200! (Bear in mind that he is an Asian man with short hair).

Emanuel

     It's been a good and crazy and magical week. O la la. Last Monday, my metro pass stopped working. Some little girl walked up to me and handed me her purse and hopped over the barrier and then held the exit open for me to go in. Okayyy. Needless to say, we walked to the Gare and figured out the problem. We did all necessary shopping in under 15 minutes. Then we went to Park Tete D'or. There we did a mixture of things, from regarding animals, to climbing on signs, to frisbee, to three-legged races, to three-legged frisbee, to frisbee slingshots. It was a good day. We spent the night with the Cholays, a couple that has come to church for a long time because they think it's true but don't want to be baptized. Then we had dinner at the Meyer's. They are wonderful. It is just Soeur Meyer and her son Emmanuel, but they are so great. Emmanuel played us some LOTR on his violin before we left and they spent the whole time correcting our French and telling me that I should pretend I want to work with cochin dindes instead of PT if I don't want to be the nurse's companion. 

     Tuesday was Jedi Council day. And by that I mean Leadership Council-like a more intensive Zone Conference. I also met Elder Dean and now understand the stories I hear. He talks kind of like a slangy basketball announcer all the time. That night Promise and Jean-Gide both told us that if they didn't want to be baptized and live the gospel they wouldn't meet with us. Solid. 

Elders Schneider and Johnson

    

      Wednesday, we spent all day going to an outer ville to meet with a family. En route, we were prepping a presentation for ZC and we started talking to a girl who asked us about exactly what we were en train to prepare. Then we took the wrong bus. We also got to meet with Pascale who is having a really rough time right now. But she was laughing with us by the end. She also thinks she's not ready for the temple and keeps putting it off. Shouldn't have told me that. Haha. She told me she didn't want a calling, so I told the Bishop and reminded her about it every time I saw her or called her. Now, it's temple and Patriarchal blessing focus. During Zone Training, we had Corse skyped in. We gave our presentation which went really well. We had an exchange with St Etienne soeurs and Valence this week. With St Etienne, we stayed in our sector. We visited a member, Soeur Yvars to update our member book on her and then the other equip showed up with a guy they found on the street, so we taught him together. Then we taught Tran, our Asian ami and English class. There was four missionaries and four amis, so it looked like really weird speed dating, but one-on-one conversations worked really well to help them all improve selon leurs besoins. I taught Karim the word awesome. On the train to Valence, I sewed my bag back together. I am not buying another one, so it's gotta last.

   




 In Valence, we tried to do service for Soeur Charrier, a dying old woman who apparently translated a lot of hymns for the church. But we walked right in to a blessing, shared a message, and left. We went to the Gare to change our clothes and saw Elder Castillo and Elder Taylor there, who were passing through. Small world. Then we ate lunch and met a member to go to another outer ville and teach an ami. It was a decent lesson and reinforced the importance of sharing stories about Jesus to highlight principles of the gospel. Joseph also made some really good cake for us. We had to wait 40 minutes for Sylvie to get home from work. I pulled an Elder Schneider and said, So you're praying? Je vous ecoute. And then I waited for him to pray. Haha. We missed our bus and the train, but we made it back to the Gare in Romans one minute before another train left. Then, my temporary comp realized she left her bag with all my clothes and sneakers in it at their house! Yikes! Luckily, I have backups. Call me an Eagle Scout. Here's a realization I had. Faith is contre logic. God asks us to do things that are completely illogical so that we have to exercise our faith. For example, throw your nets in again, look for a coin in that fish's mouth, and rub this dirt I just spit on in your eyeballs. Once we do those crazy things, that's when we see the miracles that confirm our faith. We catch too many fish for our boat, we find the coin to pay our taxes, and our sight is returned to us. That's what I got for ya this week. Go find your own miracles.