I am Spiderman (to the Iron Man Theme Song)

Spiders!

Here's a few French factoids for ya. Premierement, there's the argot, or slang. It's really gross. Imagine all the gangsters speaking pig latin. That's kind of what it's like-you reverse the syllables. For example, merci turns into cimer. And fetard means someone who parties all the time, but kind of in a negative sense (since it ends in 'ard'). So the hip kids reverse the syllables so you can add a different ending and it turns into tefeuse. Weird. 

Secondly, when someone else is telling a story, a lot of times we nodd our heads and say yeah, yeah, I agree, yep, oh wow. Stuff like that. In France, to acknowledge that you are listening to the story, you just kind of grunt. It uses less energy. Mm. 

I played a sweet game of frisbee last week and kind of hurt my knee. Oops. It's ok, I just had to tune down the Jillian workouts a little.

 We met with our two amis from English class, Nico and Benjamin. We taught Nico Retab and took Benjamin to FHE with us, which he loved. He stayed there until the late hours of the night, despite the fact that he had to get up for work the next day at five. Yikes. 

For our exchange with Clermont, Soeur Hiltunen and I spent a while in Venissieux, the forbidden kingdom. It was fun. We were cerifying people's addresses for our ward and trying to visit a member, but her husband was kind of mean and kicked us out. President's birthday was this week and I talked to the Assistants two weeks ago about doing something cool for it and they said they were on it. I figured they kind of had more legislature in that area, so I left it to them. Bad idea. Can't trust them with anything. They forgot. We had a really good President's birthday though. 

Suin Jo, our Korean ami, is the epitome of Asian. She is so funny and reminds me of mom's imitations of Japanese women. Covers her mouth when she laughs, really polite, brings us treats every RDV, et tous ça. She is Catholic and her motivations for meeting us are slowly changing. She really likes the messages that we've shared and says it makes a lot of sense. We also taught her once with Gael, a young single adult, RM from Paris, who brings the Spirit hard. Who could resist? Missionary Matchmakers. Sometimes I feel bad about setting up JAs with our amis, but then the Elders talk to us about who they should set their amis up with and I don't. All I can do is provide opportunities and then let the chips fall where they may. Hey-we're here to provide eternal happiness! 

Our Chinese ami Zhifan is solid. We taught him a lesson on the Atonement and repentance, which was a little rough from my point of view, but he ended up summarizing everything perfectly. He is wonderful. He understands and applies so well. Our Cambodian ami Chanta is also doing wonderful. Between church and our RDV, she had a dream in which her deceased brother appeared to her. Then we taught her about the plan of salvation, she opened up and everyone cried. My eyes even watered. She spent the whole day with us on Sunday at church and then at the baptism of Rachel, Elders Johnson's and DuPre's ami. Elder DuPre is 6'8" by the way. So everyone in Gerland is ridiculously tall except Soeur Bentley. She's okay with it. In other news, we are now teaching all the Asians. Soeur Jones will be super jealous.

 

Luncheon

We had lunch with the Hares family and the full Fellowship. My comp needed her butt shot. Chabane asked us lots of questions about God and Jesus from his Muslim perspective. We got a coordonnee from Ecully, a man named Jerome who wants to know how to have eternal life and how to teach his family in a world with changing morals. Ask the missionaries. They can help.

 We had a District meeting that was good. We met with Fatima after she went to the temple for the first time and she could not stop talking. 

In English class, I taught them the word 'hang' and all its many uses (in addition to simple past tense, like hung). We helped Soeur LeRoux clean up the basement of her house. Her house is beautiful. It has an African theme because her dad was born in Chad. She is white though.

 Anyways. We met with a man named Christian Albert who got a card from the missionaries a while ago and started reading the BOM online when he realized something was missing from his life. We met Laurent again and he said we answered all his questions satisfactorily, especially in comparison with other Christian faiths. Promise is back and wants to be baptized again and promised to meet with us every day this week. On verra. We helped Soeur Yvars do her shopping again. And we met with a woman named Julie, who was contacted back in the days of practicing the questionaire. She seems to have a real intent, but we both felt really weird in her house, so we're going to try to meet somewhere else from now on. 

Soon the three wards of Lyon will be split into four and reorganized. So Soeur Tron found out early what ward she will be in, so she decided this week was her last Sunday. So in gospel principles class, she kind of taught a n'importe quoi lesson. We were trying to bring some kind of spiritual something to our amis by distracting them from what she was saying and explaining things a little more relevant. Let's just say the grave of the unknown soldier has less relevance to the gospel, than, Jesus Christ, persay. We went to a baptism and found out that Ecully and Gerland Elders were both teaching the same ami! Weird. Got that straightened out now. 

In other news, I got a spider bite on my leg while I was playing frisbee I think. I didn't call Sister Povar until the redness around it had spread to about two thirds of my calf. She freaked out and told me to take all these drugs and make a potion to put on it. I told her I was probably going to forget about the drugs, but the potion sounded fun. Since then, spiders have been attracted to me. One fell on my glasses while I was wearing them. I found this cool graffiti on the wall. And I have just been seeing them everywhere. Retrospectively, I kind of wish I didn't do the potion because I'm worried it will prevent me from getting sweet superpowers. I also heard there's a new drug in Utah that turns people's skin green and scaley. So I expect to have some crime to fight when I get back out there. Anyone want to start working on my supersuit? Make sure it follows the missionary dress and grooming guidelines. 

May the Force Be With You

ASK the missionaries!

French fact-They are wonderful at preparing for church. They all bring their own manuals and read and study the lessons in advance. Step it up, America.

Jedi Council this week. Elder Dean was there-I'd met him once, but I've heard lots of stories. He's really intense I guess is the only way to word it. He talks like a basketball game announcer? That one. Well last Jedi Council he saw my basketball scripture case and we talked a little bit about it. Apparently all you need to do to be friends with him is to be intense about the game. Which I am. As Soeur Hulmes put it, Congrats. You are the only sister in the mission that Elder Dean respects. Sweet. Speaking of basketball, the Assistants also play and organized their part of the meeting like a game. We had two teams of missionaries and we had hour long sessions of practice with the new questionnaire we are using to contact. The two hour sessions were separated by a half time where we talked about it, calculated points, etc. It was awesome. And my team creamed Elder Dean's. Then we all went out for pizza. That was well deserved. If you don't understand, just imagine a crazy girl in a yellow raincoat sprinting from person to person, high energy and full of the spirit for two straight hours. Then we were going to be late getting back, so we sprinted for ten minutes all the way back to the office. I did it in a skirt and 1.5inch heels. By the end of the first ten minutes, you're exhausted. Virtue literally parts from your body. So that was fun.

We're still teaching Zhifan and he has a baptismal date and is wonderful. One day we asked if he had any questions and he didn't. He said maybe Chinese people are just really bad at thinking profoundly about things. He came to church and he and Frere Vincent HIT. IT. OFF. Like they're going out to dinner this week hit it off. Who'da thunk? Not I said the Little Red Hen. Speaking of hens, on our exchange we were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. We barely made every train. We saw the whole Voisin family (and Fr Voisin came to church!) and also the Ayogas, who are apparently preparing for the temple. Then we saw Fr Galibourg for dinner. 

We had raclette. This is a wonderful French tradition. I got back with my colleague just in time to teach Zone Training together. Planned it in five minutes beforehand and it went really well. Essentially we were the only ones who taught (normally it's the ZLs) but they were teaching about the questionnaire and so they did a five minute presentation and then told everyone to go practice. Another hour of contacting. Which would be great if we had time to meet with these people. This questionnaire is literally magic. If you are a missionary, use this. Contacting efficiency is increased a thousand percent. Shoutout to Papa Bentley who probably found and is reading my blog by now. Welcome. 

We met with a cool guy named Laurent this week. His hair is kind of weird, but he is really interested and really smart. So that's fun. I'm reading Genesis right now. If you want a fast paced read full of deception, adventure, love, and religion, this is the book for you. In other news, Soeur Bentley brought her Jillian Michaels workout here. There are three levels. For those who know Jillian Michaels, she has a 3-2-1 program (3m strength, 2m cardio, 1m abs and repeat). I made my own program called Jillian Michaels 1-2-3, where I increase the level every day and repeat. It's awesome. We helped the assistants make a movie for the mission on how to use the questionnaire so that they can regard it at Zone Conference in a few weeks. So that about wraps it up. Love.

The Fellowship of the Ring

Sister Yvars

I don't know if I've shared this one before or not, but French people are very surface level. We have to really push people to think. Questions of the soul don't really matter for them. I say this in relation to a rendez-vous that I had this week with Soeur Yvars. We have been talking to her about love and forgiveness because she struggles with that with her mom and her daughter. We were kind of pushing her to agree to pray to ask for more love and randomly she had this epiphany. She said, Oh my goodness, I bet my daughter is mean to me because I always told her that I hated her and that I loved my son a lot more. In the words of my dad, Hello! McFly! Anyways, we are making some serious headway with her and even spent a while brainstorming things she likes about her daughter so that she could write a nice note to her. Sheesh. 

Now that there are four STLs in Lyon, we have become a Fellowship. Soeur Luthi is an elf, because she just looks like one. Soeur Bentley is a hobbit, because, well, she looks like one. Turns out she's a legal midget. But her feet aren't hairy, so ne vous inquietez pas. 

We had to bring some suitcases to the office Elders late Monday night right outside our apt for the sisters going home. Quote from Elder Asay: It's so weird to see sisters in their PJs....If I was a Muslim man and I saw sisters in cheetah pants...That's all I have to say. Thank you, Elder Asay. Get to your trio in Gap. 

Tuesday, we taught Frere Girard about temples and tried to emphasize the joys of this gospel and how when we do missionary work, we need to tell people about all the good stuff. He is a very fire and brimstone if you don't repent kind of a guy. Which I like, but it also offends people and is kind of a problem. We also met with Fatima and taught her about prophets. Near the end, a guy came in her house who I thought was her husband, so I yelled to him and asked if he wanted to come. Turns out it's just her friend and he does want to learn. Sweet. Bienvenue.

 We went to a dinner with the trainers, so I got to see Soeur Swenson again. We had a good time and rushed them home. The new missionaries are all not from the U.S. One is from France speaking Spanish, one is from Spain speaking French, and one is from France speaking French. Also, does anyone know the old mission president Hutchins in this mission? I don't, but everyone always asks me if we're related.

 

Lui Jing

We had a meeting with Frere Léporé to talk about the geneology activity and plan the next one. We also started meeting with Zhifan pretty regularly. He is awesome. He reads one chapter in the BOM and tells us what happens in every RDV. We've taught him Retab, modern prophets, and word of wisdom, because it turns out he smokes. But he wants to change so bad. The problem we have is that we like to teach with Liu Jing because she can translate into Chinese if we need her to, but she is going back to China pretty soon. 

We met with Christine Cholet, our eternigator. She thinks the church is true, but doesn't want to be baptized. But she's been coming for 20 years. So we're trying to get her interested again through family history work. 

We went to the office so my comp could get her butt shot from Soeur Povar. FYI she beat cancer and whatnot, so it's all pretty legit stuff.  We had a great visit with Pascale and then on the way home I talked with the bus driver who has five daughters and loves God. And we saw a hoard of roller bladers. 

In other news, this week all Lyon missionaries were a test group for a new contacting technique President used to use. He developed a few quizzes that we can use as an excuse to talk to people about gospel subjects and they can see that we're normal people and not just weirdos. That's nice. As President says, nobody likes religious zealots and that's kind of what we are. But it works really well actually. You kind of just have to be bold with people, which I'm really good at. So that's the news. A bientot.

The Fellowship

Soeur Carter and Hutchins

French people all tell Soeur Carter and I that we look really tired. There's your French factoid of the day. Then I respond with What are you talking about? Like I do anytime I don't want to admit something. Haha.

 Last Monday we were uninvited to President's house because he wanted to go on vacation. To paraphrase Elder Zenger, All we want is to come over to your house, eat food that you have painstakingly prepared for us, at a time and day that we specify-Is that too much to ask? Je riggole. So instead, we went to the zoo again and Elder Schneider and I played Dance/Star Wars/Eye contact frisbee while my companion was contacting a Chinese man, and the other missionaries were having a picnic. Then, the moment arrived. The jump roping competition that we've been waiting for all transfer. We did it on the grass and it was really rough. But it turns out Elder Johnson and Elder Schneider have been practicing every day all transfer to prepare! That, my friends, is real love. They beat us by a landslide. Elder Johnson came out with a shocking 24 crisscrosses in a row! Oh la. 

We then took a train to Chalon for an exchange. That was a bizarre experience. But also wonderful. Soeur Durante is a new missionary and just afraid to contact, but really wants to. I said I could help with that. Hehe. We practiced in the morning and then all day, I stopped people by saying BONJOUR and smiling expectantly at them so that they had to stop and Soeur Durante had to speak to them before it got too awkward. Funnest day ever. Hahaha. It works better than I expected. We also had a super lesson zero with a guy and our recent convert, Laurent. It was so fun. There are certain people you can be really bold with and it's wonderful. Laurent's mouth dropped open when I asked Arnold to be baptized. It was also Carnival in Chalon, so I bought Soeur Carter a gauffre. We returned and taught Zhifan, our new Chinese ami from the park on Monday.

kebabs

Wednesday we spent a good portion of our day watching Plemodie Ayoga braid the bishop's daughter's hair because her mom is white and doesn't know how to do it. We also eased some contention of the family, so that was really good. We met with Zhifan again and also a man named Daniel Francois. He's a philosophy student who is debating about starting his own church some day. We're working on it. We also had a wonderful district meeting with Elder Schneider. He is great. He does so much to prepare to make it the most spiritual experience ever. After, we were crowned the Queens of Lyon, since we won the Olympics. We met with a self-referral named Rebeckah and she is great. Then we taught english class which turned out really good. We taught them commands, played Simon says, and had a few skills presented to us.                                                                                                      One was karate, the other was a chilean dance in which the men "use all of their charm to seduce the ladies". YIKES! We did not teach them those words. The rest of the week was spent in preparation for our Genealogy activity Saturday. Turns out the weather was terrible, so it was kind of a let down. Much better organized, but turned into just a big streetboarding event. Ah well. 

grenoble

Here's the news of the transfer-I'm staying in Lyon with Soeur Bentley who is older than me in the mission, and almost as tall as my knees. Haha. She's great. Soeur Carter is starting a new STL equip in Ecully (still in Lyon). But we decided to be in cahoots about everything. Welcome to the Fellowship, Soeur Bentley and Soeur Luthi