What'd You Do This Week, Kiss Ten Boys??

Lynds & Josh, from FHE.
When they stole my phone.

I feel like this week was chalk-full of adventure, but very little about which I feel I should write. We'll start with Monday. Derek actually took me to the store, so I have lots of delicious food in my house now. I like that about me. I was fashionably late to FHE (although just in time for rootbeer floats), and we were just breaking the ice by voicing our secret obsessions. My whole apartment and our brothers in Zion know me very well, so they just presented me, leaving me with little left to say.

Family History story of the week - Dad always made sure our first solid foods were rootbeer floats. Hence the inordinate amount of pleasure taken from the treat.

Those who felt inclined remained behind to play some Ninja and Werewolf. (Where, as predicted, I was the wolf, Lynds was the witch, and Benson was the Russian peasant girl). And we watched Antman. Again. I don't know about you, but I'm more of a Neocubist kind of gal.
Tuesday's forum was unusually enjoyable. Liz Wiseman spoke on leadership and how when we are unqualified for a job, we tend to execute it more efficiently and effectively because we are forced to put more effort into the preparations. I like that. Being under qualified and overly successful.

How did she know??

Waffle Wednesdays. 'Nuff said.

Lauren came over for yummy bars and got her belated birthday present. Which she guessed in advanced. It was one of about 45 guesses, so pretty decent odds. She also provided excellent insight for my lesson on visiting teaching.

Family History story of the week - I really became friends with Lauren when I was called as her visiting teacher because I called her or saw her every day to make sure she wasn't dead. And if she didn't answer, I would call her mom.




Our basketball team played the soccer team. And crushed them. We're looking pretty good now that I know how to score and our guards know how to work together. One girl, Katie, told me she isn't a great shot, so she looks to me every time. Not mad.

Matt and I had a project we were working on together, so I went over to bring him his part and ended up staying with their apartment and watching YouTube videos until the wee hours of the night. I like having more time for fun. (As opposed to 18h of school + 30h of clinicals + 5h of calling + however many hours of work.)

Friday, Matt and I were so miserable because we had class 7-12, a one hour break, and potentially clinicals from 1-midnight. But in our one hour break, a heavenly message of love came in the form of Benson with some extra pizza. Seriously, highlight of our day. Then we only had to spend nine hours at clinicals instead of eleven, so we made it to the end of our water polo game (which we won).

This is me looking in Matt's ear. We spend every waking hour
together, so it's a good thing we're friends. Otherwise it might
be weird if I palpated his face. 

Saturday, I went to a Hilary Weeks morningside with free waffles afterwards. She talked about having a firm foundation through scriptures and not fearing. I used this as an opportunity to poll the RS public for a game of Family Feud played during my RS lesson on Sunday.

Terrifying. Shoulda run while you had the chance.

My guys, Lyndsey, and I filmed a movie. I can't tell you about it yet, but rest assured that you will see it. And it is terrifying. Benson jokingly pretended to run away when I texted him to prepare himself. Then later wished he had. What good sports! Lynds and I treated us all to chips and salsa and guac afterwards. We all just laid on the floor, exhausted and full.

After some preliminary editing, I made Cole Fox pick me up for a mini mission reunion with my favorite foreigners, Taua and Carre. The real incentive was the crepes, however. Delicious.

Always the good sport, Spider-Cam. 

Today I was the star of church. I feel like this always happens; it's always all or nothing. But I enjoy it. I spoke about Jesus Christ and fasting. And one of the speakers forgot to come to church, so I talked for dayyssss. Brent said I did a good job at alternating ridiculosity with spirituality. I liked that. I figure I'm not so good at keeping the spirit, but maybe I can keep people awake. (Which didn't super work, since Matt fell asleep. If I had known, I would've made him stand up and do jumping jacks. Probably a good thing I didn't notice...)



After a wonderful SS on how to manage finances in relationships, I taught RS. The stories and family feud were a success. There was great discussion. And we had Brandon from the EQ come and give his perspective on things. It felt like a successful day. I was spiritually drained afterwards.

So much laughing. Matt also played his part well. 

My HTs came. My VTs came. I edited some more and joined my guys for a jam session. They are all super talented. Jamon was on cello, Cam had the accordion, Benson was guitar, and Josh was on piano. I alternated between uke and guitar, depending on the chords of the song. And we all sang. It was terribly fun.

And another picture by my favorite artist, T Sizzle. 

Manny the Plumber

Once, my sixth grade teacher, Ms. Hartz, assigned us each a clipping from the classifieds in the newspapers. We had to write a poem about our clipping. I won.

Manny the Plumber:

Number One in the Number Two Business

He was a plumber; Manny was his name,

He was 58 years old and toilets were his game.

Manny was a plumber: the best one in the town,

When people’s poop got stuck, Manny shoved it down.

Manny did heat installations when people’s bathrooms got cold:

He warmed it up again, for people young and old.

Manny also did repairs, the best ones in the biz,

All these are parts of his job at which he was a whiz.

Birthdays for Dayyyyysssss

Highlight of last Sunday night came in the form of a giant ice chunk being placed directly in front of our door. We're talking five feet tall, four inches thick, and three-ish feet wide. People are weird and I'm not even mad.

There it is. 

Monday was MLK day and if you were looking for a festive game to play, you need only look at my last blog post. We celebrated by combining our family with Amy's for dinner at the Sizzler.

I finally achieved my life-long dream. That's right, I got me a
part-time job at the Sizzler!

Favorite. 

Jordan, one of my classmates, usually answers questions in class beginning with the phrase I feel like... Which happens to be one professor's pet peeve. As a gag birthday gift, we made Jordan a shirt with that phrase and a picture of our teacher.

I'm grateful for Ty's participation in this gift. 

He wore it all day. Holla back.

My first basketball game was this week. We crushed it. Too hard, because they're thinking about moving us up a division. Here's the good news though, I actually know how to score now.

Due to the game, I was late to waffle night. And in case I forgot, I had 7 calls and 3 messages from Lyndsie, insisting that my bed was on fire and I had to return immediately to put it out. And then go to waffle night with her. Here's a thing: waffle + peppermint ice cream + syrup. Surprisingly delicious.

Trevor randomly started a family group message with a degrading message. It escalated quickly and beautifully. Here, for your reading pleasure. Please note, this is not for the faint or boring of heart.

Trevor: Y'all is bumjuice.
Naomi: Balderdash, my young lad.
Trevor: Nay I say, tis not balderdash, but is instead manifest in Greg the salty piece.
Naomi: Indeed sir, my sincerest apologies. For methought thou hadst intended to besmirch the names of all your kindred folk. Au contraire, I find myself in accord with they declaration of Greg's salty piecehood.
Greg: ...you guys are the worst.
Naomi: I bite my thumb at you sir.
Trevor: Ah ha good fellow! I would not bequeath that pure disrespect upon thou, it is indeed saved for only the most foul and dusty of my kindred, such as my weeny beeny brotherkin salty piece Gregory who stanketh. Like unto bumjuice.
Kevin: In accordance to his salty piecehood is also his spectacular resemblance to said bumjuice.
Naomi:  Forsooth I know he doth stink for I have smelt him! Ifaith, nary the stench of a thousand bilge rats could compare to the foulest of odors that he hast wrought which do wax increasingly putrescent as the days pass. And his uncanny resemblance to bumjuice doth make the strongest of stomachs feel crapulous for a fortnight.
Trevor: Amen, amen, and be merry, for Greg the petulant's reign shall be at an end: I shall slay him  that stinketh on the morrow and many shall be released from his stenches.
Naomi: Huzzah for the champion who dost not delay his gruesome task, but doth speedily slay the smelly snecklifter and thereby rid the village of our odorous enemy.
Trevor: Huzzah, huzzah, HUZZAH!

Thursday was also the birthday of my best friend, Lauren Bellon. Celebrations occurred. A video was made. Balloons were bought. Party hats were worn. Cafe Rio was eaten. And we went to the Provo City Center Open House. Which was wonderful.

The infamous yummy bars. 

Party car. 

Only saw six people that I knew. Good thing I was the only one
NOT embarrassed by wearing the hats in public. Franchement. 

I ran into PRoney at the open house. (Because him and his buddy, Steve Lund, are in charge of the whole thing.) He gave me a special tour, which included the bridal room because this will probably be my only opportunity to go in there. Haha. I love him with all my heart.

The Wedding Temple. 

Friday I had to take two Anatomy tests. One was a practical on every single bone in the body and all their little scratches and bumps. The other was a written test on their development.

We lost our water polo game by two. BUT, this is good, as Grampy would say. We don't want to look too good and we weren't actually trying super hard. But all the new additions to our team have faith in my abilities now.

Lyndsie lost a bet and had to watch Avatar with her coworkers, so I acted as moral support through several episodes of Kora. Then we hung out with our actual friends, Matt/Benson/Cam, and watched all the good parts of Antman.

Saturday I finished filming Hunger Juegos. You'll see it eventually. Kassie came over and we chatted for a while. I practiced my accordion, which is coming along, you could say. And Lyndsie showed me Austenland, which was an amusing film.

Wore this at church today.

MLK or Black Rapper? 2016 Edition

This, the second annual game of "Who said it: MLK or Black Rapper?", will be organized somewhat differently. Below are a list of quotes and the author is listed directly beneath. So scroll slowly. Remember that one point is given for correctly determining whether the quote was said by MLK Jr. or a black rapper. An additional point is given out for correctly identifying which black rapper authored the quote. R-r-r-ready? B-b-begin.

 Everyone thinks of the future as something that’s coming. Breaking news: the future is now. The future is here.

-Will.I.Am

Keep your nose out the sky, keep your heart to God, and keep your face to the raising sun.

-Kanye

If you see a black family, it’s looting, but if it’s a white family, they are looking for food.

-Kanye

When evil men plot, good men must plan. When evil men burn and bomb, good men must build and bind.

-MLK

 Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.

-MLK

Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor, it must be demanded by the oppressed.

-MLK

I ain’t got tactics, I got Tic Tacs ‘cause I stay fresh.

-Will.I.Am

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

-MLK

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

-MLK

There are three types of people in the world: those who don’t know what happened, those who wonder what happened, and people like us from the streets that make things happen.

-Dr. Dre

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.

-MLK

Believe in your flyness, conquer your shyness.

-Kanye

You’re never supposed to do things because of what you think people might say. You do it for the opposite reasons.

-Will.I.Am

I don’t stop until the ideas stop because that train doesn’t come along all the time.

-Dr. Dre

Would you believe in what you believe in if you were the only one who believed it?

-Kanye

Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.

-MLK

I still think I am the greatest.

-Kanye

If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.

-MLK

Haters will broadcast your failure, but whisper your success.

-Dr. Dre

Intelligence plus character-that is the true goal of education.

-MLK

If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.

-MLK

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

-Dr. Dre

We need to forge a whole new energy and American dream.

-Will.I.Am

Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.

-MLK

You can rule ignorance; you can manipulate the illiterate; you can do whatever you want when a people are uneducated, so that goes in line with corrupt business and corrupt politics.

-Will.I.Am

If a man has not discovered something that he will die for, he is not fit to live.

-MLK

They wanna hang us, see us dead or enslave us, keep us trapped in the same place we raised in. Then they wonder why we act so outrageous, run around stressed out and pull out gauges.

-Dr. Dre

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

-MLK

Come to Britain: Hints for Holidays

Today my witty commentary will be interlaced with really attractive pictures of myself. You're welcome.

I decided I wasn't a fan of the normal crouching position. Clockwise
from me: Lindsey, Autumn, Sarah, India, Emarie.

Let me tell you about last Sunday. First, our RS Presidency was wrongly uninvited to a meeting. When our absence was noted, a chick from the other RS Presidency said, Huh, I guess we see who the better RS is. Let's just say, they picked the wrong overly-competitive RS Presidency to mess with.

First and only good picture we'll ever take.

At our stake training, the speaker said Serving is like the rent we pay for living on the earth. So shouldn't we all love it more? Um, no. I hate paying rent. Literal worst part of the month.

One of my favorite poses. 

And we took roommate pictures, only a small portion of which are shown here. One of my favorites from a participatory standpoint was taken in a tree. Guess who climbed the highest? Holla. Too bad the lighting was awful.

And what are pictures without a good deep squat?

I actually went to FHE this week because I knew there would be food. Guess who's in my 'family'? Matt. Yep. He keeps telling me we're the same (same classes, same sports teams, same clinical assignments, same calling basically, same ward, same FHE, etc). I super hate that. But I don't mind him and his apartment is great. We made this flag as a bonding activity.

Jamon is the FHE head and also in our family.
And that's his face in the moon.

I also actually went to a waffle night. Guess who else came? Our FHE bros. Not even mad. And Greggy. That was fun. And delicious.

Caught me in my natural habitat.

Our water polo team is going to crush this year. (We are called Ninja-Pirate-Zombie-Robots). We have some great girls. And the boys are just funny. Pretty sure Benson kept floating into corners. After the game, we ran to the institute building just in time for the refreshments: Costa Vida. Yum.

Wheeler Heck, my mission bro, came up from Blanding, UT to go snowboarding. He stopped en route so we could go to lunch, because I never see him anymore. Let me tell you about Wheeler. I love him. Not romantically, but I love him. He is one of the most wonderful people and so positive and loves to laugh and just makes everyone around him feel good about themselves.

It's not everyday you get to mount a cougar
with your bearded, swearing friend.

I talked to Kylo Ren's twin at Provo High. Turns out he's actually kind of funny. His ridiculously deep voice keeps throwing me off, though. I also learned how to pop a rib back in. I'm not super good at it yet.

Vogue status.

 I also grastoned my patellar tendons, which are stuck in the inflammatory stage. In layman's terms, I rubbed my knees with the handle of a butter knife, damaging them further. The theory is that if you hurt the tissue, it will restart the repair process and hopefully get past inflammation to repair. This only works if you rest for about 72 hours afterwards, which is the bigger struggle.

Saw this at Provo's game vs. Timpview. Plz no. 

Lauren and I finished our Hand and Foot game vs. Ho'o and Mandy. I like them all. Our team had to come back from a 3,000 point deficit to maintain our undefeated status. And we did.

It's funny because they're all about the same height, except me.
Not mad.

Can we talk about BYU vs Gonzaga? Quality game.

This is a great climbing tree. 

I watched Christian and Ryan's intramural basketball game and it was crazy. The ref was in a terrible mood and threw out several technicals and at one point told the teams they weren't allowed to talk. Yikes.

This is why dad wants to live with me when he's old.
By that time, I figure he won't have any taste buds left, so
he's gonna get prune juice. Sucker. 

And today, as per usual, I was stylin' at church. And per Grampy's suggestion, I even made my bed every day this week. Gentlemen??

Wow look at that great skirt. And all the matching colors.
And Grampy's watch. It's crazy. I'm almost a real girl.

Feed the Fire. Fan the Flames.

School. I still love my classes. I’m taking advanced physiology and advanced anatomy this semester, which may or may not be the death of me. The only other super challenging class will be my weights class. I am accustomed to high intensity iron pumping. This class, however, is more akin to yoga. By the end of the class, we’re going to be doing planks for over three minutes. It’s hard in a different way.

This kid is the spitting image of Kylo Ren.
Except blonde and shorter hair. We call him 'Spike'. 

Work. I quit my paid job due to the variability in my hours and have determined to research scholarships for three hours a week in place. Hopefully, I’ll make more money that way. My clinical assignment at Provo High School is ballin’ because there’s a lot more kids and thus a lot more injuries. (That said, also a lot more wimps.) The problem is just the variability and duration of the hours.

Romance. (Of other people). Derek’s fiancée, Shennsley visited this week and slept at my apartment. Otherwise I might never have seen her. Verdict: I like her. Also, Derek stinks at wedding planning. And decision making. And everything, really. Good thing I trust Shannon to keep him on track.

 

Family. We had a surprise dinner at Ben’s house so that all family + significant others could meet Derek’s elusive bride-to-be. I brought Lauren. It was delicious and fun and terrifying. (That last part is mainly just talking about Tanner’s mustache. Might have to start calling him Dink again.)

Church. Despite my adamancy of the Spirit’s witness that I should keep my calling, I didn’t. I’m now RS Counselor #2. Holla back. That’s what you get for being the visiting teacher of the new president. I feel a tad out of place at meetings, since anything that comes out of my mouth is dripping with sarcasm and attitude. I did start filming a new movie for my old calling. Let the emergency preparedness continue. I also did initiatories at the temple. #righteous

AT Basketball chillin'. The real life. 

Sports. I went to 2 basketball games this week. We’re killin’. I learned that in order to be considered active, the LEAST amount of exercise you can do is either moderate activity (walking fast) 30min/5days OR vigorous activity (jogging) 20min/3 days AND weight lifting 2 days (8-10 exercises, 10-12 reps) each week. Don’t worry I’m active. Are you?

Roommate pictures: something to
look forward to. 

 Culture. This category normally doesn’t exist, but we’ll make an exception this week. There was free food and a Norman Rockwell exhibit at the MOA, so I took my British tour guide Nigel (aka Matt, my AT buddy) and my Australian tour guide Steve (aka Benson, who’s “hot as a box of animal crackers”).  I also attended my temple buddy, Cam’s concert at the Velour. Their band is called RKDN and they’re pretty good.  Kassie Schreiber, my mission daughter, and Clayn Smith, my roommate’s brother went.

Cam's my friend on the drum set that you can't see.