Homeless

This week has been simultaneously crazy busy and not at all. My last final was over by 11:45 on Monday. I went to clinicals just to help out and turn in my keys, only then realizing that one of the keys was missing from my wallet. Having several previous instances where essentially nonstop praying and searching has eventually led me to find misplaced items, I wasn't too concerned. In need of a reunion before "Naomi goes to Connecticut, Chels might be going to England, and Lauren might die", the squad congregated at Ho'o's place for some revelations, cookies, and Hand and Foot (obv). The least shocking revelations to me included the fact that Lauren B plays the flute and Mandy has secretly been married for two months.

Lauren and I are still reigning champs at Hand and Foot.

Tuesday morning was spent with Greg and Derek at the old Provo temple. I love the temple and I love them. I love that we can always laugh, regardless of the subject of conversation. It is a delight and a joy to me. Although not to the female temple workers. I don't know if I've been to the Provo temple yet without being reprimanded for something. I cling to the notion that laughing and enthusiasm will not only be accepted, but encouraged in the Kingdom of God. And what a glorious place that must be!

There goes the RS budget. You're welcome.

Wednesday. I ran to the Student Health Center to get clearance to play sports. Irony. The nurse made a point of telling me that I didn't smell too bad. Thanks...? Afterwards, I prepared for our RS BBQ. Basically our president informed me on Sunday that we had $110 of our budget leftover that we needed to spend. No problemo. An hour after the BBQ was waffle night. I just can't say no to free food.

I was happy. Said all attendees.

Thursday was move-out day. In between everything else all week, I'd been packing and donating things to D.I. and returning things to friends and worrying somewhere deep in the recesses of emotion about where I would store everything and then live until I could fly home. Also where that key was. I sorted it out by moving most of my stuff into the basement of the blue house, next to the yellow house I'll be living in during the fall. One of my future roommates went home for a week, so I'm crashing in her conveniently vacant room. 

All of my possessions,
minus one suitcase and a backpack. 

Friday, I was talked into an early morning hike. Like 3am early. After staying up late to clean, this wasn't my favorite idea. Plus I hate hiking. Go figure. But I did the 6 miles with minimal complaints and maximal stumbling into bushes. It was lovely and serene at the top and I quite enjoyed that. 

Ryan on the left, Brandon on my right, and the three girls are
all named after countries: Belgiqua, Italia, Francia. 

I made it back to Provo in time to cover Christina's shift at her work. She helps a boisterous and strong-willed 9-year-old that his teachers can't handle in conjunction with all their other students. I convinced him to do 3 worksheets in exchange for playing Monopoly for the rest of the day. Then I showered and slept for an eternity.

Saturday I played catch-up with Rachel May for a bit. Then Lauren and I went to ImprovBroadway because I got a free ticket. It was quite enjoyable and I, as always, was impressed at their ability to think on the spot. They're kind of different because they do a lot of musicals. 

They started with a musical about doing an animal puzzle in which a man refused to give back the puzzle's final piece unless the puzzler agreed to become the man's slave. The wife, by association was also a slave, as well as their unborn child. But, in an unforeseeable plot twist, the doctor had removed a piece of the baby and refused to give it back unless the slave owner released his servants. 

There was also a rap play about a husband who always gets his wife the wrong thing and finally agrees to let her get a puppy. But then every puppy store they go to is owned by the same creepy man and they even try to go to Canada to get a puppy, but he's there too. To finish up, the improv group did renditions of "Brozen" in ye olde Shakespearean english and Fatladdin, again, Broadway style. The best parts are when the actors just make fun of each other and themselves. 

Update on my green thumb.

A Condescending Con Descending

You are only as good as the quantity of free stuff you get. If that was true, I'd be golden. When Kevin visited, he complained that it seemed like Derek and Greg had girls constantly supplying them with food. Then he starved for four days. Meanwhile, if there's ever a point where you have too much free food, I'm at it. (Still not sure the point exists, however.)

Monday was my last day of class and my final exam in 'Injury Evaluation of the Upper Extremity'. Tuesday was everyone else's last day of class and my class and clinical finals in Anatomy. Half of my other classes ended ages ago, leaving me with only three exams during finals week.
Reading day 1. I made half the study guide for Ex Phys. The fam started a group FB chat where we shared funny memes until Hannah pulled up the old meme of Moriah that we made at Christmas and some ridiculous pics of Kevin. Then all the archives were opened for some hilarious flashback meme creations. Unfortunately for all others, I am the only one with archival access. Suckers.

After clinicals, we finally had our "Concussion and Chill" sesh with Aaron, our teacher. We ordered pizza and brought soda and all the fixing for S'mores and Starbursts. Then we all piled into his theater room and got really comfortable for the movie Concussion, where Will Smith does a dang good Nigerian accent. I left with a pizza and half, a 2L bottle of pink lemonade, a bag of starbursts, the equivalent weight of my head in chocolate.

Reading Day 2. Aka my birthday. I went to a review session with unlimited donuts, bagels, OJ, and chocolate milk. It was delightful. Then I finished the study guide for Ex Phys. I went to clinicals. Then I took Christina, my lovely roommate, to the senior send-off AT party. Where we had unlimited make-your-own tacos with drinks and desserts and Cafe Rio sauce. I was surprised to see Draper, Davidson (Ex Phys teacher), and Steve (football AT) there. It was nice because I got to talk to Draper about a potential research idea, Davidson about the upcoming exam, and initiate my relationship with Steve. Where I hugged him and told him he'd be lucky if I was the guest speaker. Emarie visited later with a large basket of treats, in addition to the large muffins my VTs brought over.

Friday I took both of my unscheduled finals and still made it out in time for the varsity soccer games. Where some kid got clotheslined, two kids fractured skulls, another got punched, several sprained ankles, and a few almost-fights. What an exciting game, although a little rough. But we are the #1 team in the state, so we can expect some violence.
Saturday I studied for my last exam, scheduled for Monday. It was rough. I am just done. I packed up just a little because it's already stressing me out. Then Christina, Derek, and I went up to Park City, where Mal has a time share at a resort. We spent a good couple of hours talking to Collin and his wife about traveling, robots taking over the world, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Then I showered.

How I feel right now.

YONMO (You Only New Mexico Once)

It's Spring Break! Meaning I still have school, but no clinicals. Meaning I understand the amount of free time normal college students have once again. It's nice. Monday, I bought groceries, did HW, and went to the gym three times. Tuesday, Lauren came over after her caucus meeting and only cried a little at the idea of me leaving for the summer. We hung out with Matt, Benson, Ellen, and Alesha and played a horror board game that's a mix between Clue and Choose-Your-Own-Adventure and HeroScape.

Cahoots to defeat Blobmonster Benson.

Wednesday morning I made waffles and we struggled to get Oldsmobile Orson to start up so I didn't have to lug my luggage over to the SFH. Six of us (including our teacher, Aaron,) saddled up in a 15-passenger van for the long, twisted road to Albuquerque, stopping only in Moab for tacos. Emily and I got set up in our very nice hotel suite and hit the hot tub for a few before going to BJ's Brewhouse for dinner. You know fried calamari? The ones where you can still see their tentacles and little frillies? Surprisingly good. Also, steak.

Reminds me of l'Esterel, France.

Bucket list: camp in Moab.

After a hotel breakfast, Aaron picked us up for our teacher, Ty Hopkins' presentation around 10. My clinical preceptor, Patty, checked us into the RMATA Conference (Rocky Mtn AT Association) and was surprised that I actually own fancy clothes. Ty was awesome - he is a genius. Some ATCs were frustrated that he didn't provide a set cure for all ankle injuries, rather encouraged us to cater programs to individual needs. After a UT legislature meeting, we got lunch at Panera with Ty and Aaron - thanking Ty for his presentation, disregard for KT tape, and swiftness propose motions. From there, we learned about breathing interventions, talar dysfunction, and elbow conditions (which were all a nice review for our upcoming finals). Then I snuck into the adult eatery session (and got caught and reprimanded) and also met Randy, who I was supposed to introduce the following day.

Randy: the guy to talk to in writing policy.

Thursday night, we competed against thirty other teams at the annual QuizBowl, narrated by a patronizing man with a squeaky voice. And we killed it. We  were the top two teams until Round 2, Team 1 only bet 25% on a daily double. There was even one question that only BYU got right! My team was still in the lead by a large margin until, 5Q left, we had another daily double that nobody knew the answer to and only a few lucky guessers got correct. A bunch of people came up to us later saying that if our district wanted a chance at winning nationally, then they should send BYU. We ate away our misery at Bucco di Beppo, a family-style restaurant.

Team 1: Emily/Kevin/Chris // Team 2: Me/Matt/Larson

Friday we had to wake up early to attend the Student Symposium. NATA Director Chris spoke and, in an attempt to be approachable, gave us his phone number. I immediately texted him. Obv. Valerie gave us insights on interviewing appropriately. Susan McGowen crushed her explanation of the wide range of opportunities available to ATs - using Star Wars to highlight key points. In between presentations, we held various student competitions, including Trashketball and Speed Taping. Jeff told me that if I didn't win the taping, I had to walk home.

Won by a landslide - 34s later.

 After lunch, I went to the exhibits from various sponsors and innovative invitees in the main hall. Emily had her own poster on a case study she did with Dr. Draper. I got all the free swag and gave presenter some difficult, but pertinent, questions to sweat through. I introduced my guy, Randy, and also one of the sponsors, Tim from Biowave. We're all friends now.

Emily and Draper killing it.

 We left, taking Draper with us, to go to Aaron's favorite childhood resto: Taco Cabana. Funny moments with Draper: When he took off his shirt to show us his quadruple bypass scars. When Aaron was telling the story of how his brother was dared to eat at Taco Cabana dressed as a woman and Draper blurts out, What, did he borrow your dress, Aaron? Sassy Draper is the best Draper. We stopped by the temple that was closed before hot tubbing and watching Remember the Titans.

It's still weird that not everyone at the conference was LDS.

Saturday we were toast. We were tired, NOT hungry, and mentally worn. We still went to 2 presentations before skipping out in favor of Old Albuquerque. It was a delightful place with great fajitas and cheap hoodlum sweaters.

Aaron decided last-minute that he wanted to head back to Provo. We chilled at the conference while he packed And I had to take a picture with my guys: Hall of Famer, Tim (who claims he can tape faster than me) and BYU Women's Basketball ATC, Jeff. They're wonderful.

Tim gave me his cell #, so taping contest to come.

Kevinnecticut Comes to Town

Monday was a rough day. Matt, who I spend a majority of my time with, got me sick. I still went to FHE and played Apples to Apples and ate cookies and chocolate. But I was very cranky. 

Tuesday was also rough for two reasons other than my continued illness: 1) I had 2 tests which could have gone better, and 2) my clinical hours were changed from an easy 2h to 8h. I hate it when games are rescheduled to my inconvenience. 

Somehow, I still managed to study for my anatomy test the following day. And eat half a dozen large, chocolate-covered strawberries that were delivered to me.

Wednesday, I took that anatomy exam and did well enough. I also had my presentation on the ethical use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. Sometimes I forget that people aren't as comfortable as I am presenting in front of people. My whole group basically forgot what they were supposed to talk about, but it came together. Also, I did this rap as an intro:

Olympic drug use is in our history
It's a mystery
Why this liberty
Is still not cleared in the system, see?
Coaches gave drugs out for the victory
It's on you if your drugs cause you injury
Anything's fair but game-fixing, see?
It's unclear to me
How drugs were on the plate
For years and years, then opinions mutate
When Kurt shot up too much and checkmate:
Second Olympian with death as his fate
Then in '68
A new law to create
The IOC was hoping drug use would abate
But it was too late
The limit was passed
From Lance to Bonds, drug use is vast
You gotta get trashed if you wanna go fast
So do you want the gold, or to come in last?

I finished the last 20 swimming laps of my Lazy Man Iron Man so I could get my free t shirt. Then I headed over to waffle night, where I met Brooks, the ex-music composition major, who gave me some pointers on my accordion rap. In return, I let him check play an accordion off his bucket list. 

Thursday was another long day of clinicals. This time I had to watch several hours of softball, which is my least favorite. But Matt and I stole some fruit snacks and a whole tray of cookies from their dugout snack supply and Patty snuck us some cheese sticks, so we managed. And I had the pleasure of seeing the Albach sisters minus Kaitlyn, since they assistant coach at Orem.

Kevin got to town Thursday night and then spent a long boring day with Greg, when he could have chilled with me at my cadaver lab, rehab class, upper extremities (where we watched studio c until our teacher texted and said class was cancelled, so we could have played basketball), and exercise physiology. 

Then he could have come to Provo High and treated injuries for a few hours before going outside in the surprisingly warm sunlight to watch the 1st and 2nd best HS soccer teams in Utah play each other. And get free pizza, cheezits, and fruit snacks from an intern.

Instead, I tried to plan a basketball game between when I was finished (about 830) and when he had to go to Derek's bachelor party (10). It would have worked out pretty nicely, except that the chapel we planned to play at, was unexpectedly taken over by a wedding reception. UT: where even bishops don't know what's going on at the chapel because they share it with five other wards.

Saturday, my RS presidency did a breakfast for everyone in order to use up our budget. Waffles, berries galore, bacon, sausage, chocolate milk, OJ, etc. After eating, the guys and I went back to my place to unwrap my birthday gift - Mom framed my Jesus painting and it looks beautiful. My house is going to have some classy artwork. And, in typical Mom-style, that painting had several layers of cardboard, styrofoam, bubblewrap, duct tape, and bungee cords ensuring its safe delivery. Classic.

After the morning session (and plenty of time to digest), Kev, Greg, Derek, and I went to Tucanos for my birthday meal. It was just as delicious as I remembered. And our guy, Kyle from TX, hooked us up with meat as fast as we could eat it. We left him a nice note. And a tip.

Bellies full to bursting, we watched the afternoon session of conference together before the boys went up to PH at the conference center and I went to my mission BFF Jordan Jones' bridal shower: free donuts and soda, games that were fun because I kept winning, and some delightful company. Later, I watched the PH session in fast mode while painting another squid.

Today, my roommate made me a cinnamon roll for breakfast :) And I watched conference with the guys - feasting on Sally Smiles girl scout cookies, strawberries from Saturday breakfast, and waffles. Then I Bang!ed everyone. It was a lucky strategic win. After the final session of the shortest conference on record, my French friends Alexis and Toky came over to visit, and Kunz stopped by to give us free cookies. All in all, not a bad week.