The Wheel Turns

I like cycles. I like the increments of days and weeks and months and years. It lets you compare to previous cycles of similar increments and see the changes. I imagine that would be much harder in an unbroken "eternal round". 

After Christmas, I immediately returned to work, which I really didn't mind too much. In my spare time, I was writing and reading and cleaning my room and practicing my new piano music. Meanwhile Chris and Heidi have been doing a boss job cleaning and organizing their joint possessions - as demonstrated by the dumpster out front and numerous trips to Goodwill and a garage sale. 

I got to chill with Noah before he left forever for school in Utah. We had an impromptu lesson with the Elders and made a smoothie of Jamba Juice status. It was a nice chat.

Sam decided that he needed to get rid of some of his excess cash before he leaves on his mission, so he bought a bunch of us Chick Fil Bae and we watch Pirates III. Great movie. 

Cen and I made our drinks night FBO - so we got Kaleb, Jared, Kennedy, and Cen's HS friend out for some virgin blackberry margaritas. Yum. 

Peter was busy this week, so I did sprints on my own Friday afternoon. The little girl next door was practicing gymnastics in her driveway and volunteered to time my sprints. Thanks...

We made a huge fortune teller with the checker board.

Ok, ok, you may have heard rumors about an upcoming wedding and mistakenly assumed it was Greg's. HAHAHA YOU FOOLS. It all started a week ago when I refused to go see a movie in theaters because I'm too cheap to pay for a ticket. It was remarked that I need a Sugar Daddy, so Brodie agreed (conditional upon his becoming a rock star) that he would fill the role. We've got our whole lives planned out except for the part preceding rock star status. Ehh. We'll get to that later. 

I shadowed at the hospital and heard several renditions of "that time that I crapped the bed after the nurse slipped something in my drink". Then I had a brief respite before the big pre-NYE party. Which was more fun than I had planned. My knee was kind of bugging me and the food was subpar, BUT the company was good, checkers turned into a melange of other games, and the deejay at the end was l-i-t lit. Let's gooo motherlickers. 2018 come at me. 

so cute.

A long non-scurvy ridden weekend

I worked out a good deal last week. Which is good, but doesn't quite counterbalance the garbage I was force-feeding myself. One of my patients brings me oranges sometimes and I offhandedly mentioned that was the only thing keeping me from scurvy and the truth came out - people keep bringing us ridiculous amounts of goodies so I only eat those and am not hungry by the time I get home. 

Solid celebration.

Rod and Charlie chatted with me after institute and brainstormed the creation of a Star Wars themed rap that I need to make and Charlie will do the video for. Get ready for a terrifying new hit. Also Rod is the biggest drama queen. 

I got off work a tad early so I could make it to Heidi/Chris' wedding (the end of it). I mainly played/distracted the 3 tiny Genchi girls who now love me and being thrown into the air. Do I want to babysit? Not really, but I can do 30 minutes of cardio/arms. Then I made it to ward volleyball, but I forgot a knee brace, so I was just scared the whole time. But it was fine.

This is my best friend. Look how cute.

Swing PT had our Christmas party/White Elephant exchange where I ate all of Shea's cake balls and won a doorframe basketball hoop, so I'mma count that. 

Thursday we had a movie night/face mask extravaganza with my VT's and Autumn and Cenita. Addison was also there for a while, so it was nice to catch up. And I made them watch all the episodes of Ghost Ghirls, so everyone won.

Blue faced beauties. Aka Skeeter from Doug.

Immediately after work Friday, I drove to LA listening to Greg's friend's Audible account (because Branden Sanderson just came out with a new book). I got there pretty early, picked up some KFC across the street, and watched international wipe out and Superstore (?) that featured me as the chief - with Shan, Han, and Gerg. 

Saturday we went out for Korean lunch (when in Koreatown...) while Derek worked. We watched a few movies, games were played, and eventually Shannon's fam arrived with pizza. We opened one gift as a pseudo-Christmas eve and watched Bright, a new Netflix movie that is not Greg-recommended. Also it was dumb.

An exact likeness of The Potato.

We opened the first installment of chingear and never changed our clothes all weekend.

We went to Spanish church. We watched Clue and ate Spanish food (deliciously prepared by Shennsley). We napped on and off. And we opened presents. Highlights: several unpaired, unwashed socks and books. Also Hannah got brownies that she made for us. 

On actual Christmas, we played games - I even played real games. And Derek made us pancakes. Yum. And we straightened Deek's hair. Look at this crusty motherlicker.

Like some kind of greasy computer programmer/grunge band guitarist.

But we also got to Skype the fam. First just the fam. 

Literal best photo they've ever taken.
"Imagine if that was the whole family - simpler times." - Derek

Then the fam + Kevin: where CT had a hookup, Kevin had a hookup, and everyone in CA had their own individual hookup and the filters were on. I love the chins. 

This is us. 

It's Not An Event Without Technical Difficulties: REWIND

Christmas Party. Overall, a resounding success. Especially because I just planned the kind of activity that I wanted to have. I left at 3 to pickup some last minute supplies and met the crew at the church around 4 for setup. We had tablecloths and lights and a bomb photobooth. Andddd all the sound/tech stuff. (Thank the heavens Matt Prine exists.)

Squad goals.

We ate Olive Garden lasagna, breadsticks, salad, and homemade punch for dinner. Plus all the candy strewn on the tables. Then we kicked off the talent show. Which was fraught with technical difficulties, but somehow we made it through. (Videos to come.) Voila, the act that started it off:

Then Alex was the literal best Mormon deejay I've ever had. One slow song the whole night, crazy remixes, bumping' bass. I was so wild I ripped open my sutures. And we had it all cleaned up by 11pm.

jk - THIS is squad goals.

Old Men. My favorite genre of human. And I got to see plenty of them (and old women) when I shadowed at an inpatient clinic for 5 hours Saturday morning.

Friday Night Lights. My dance squad met up to practice. Then the crew + Cen/Brodie came over to not play games and watch Pirates.

My guy Tyler, 3rd place for ugly sweater comp.

AT Coverage. I covered a HS basketball game in my *spare* time. It was infinitely better than football. But the home team crushed the visitors by 80 points and their coach was still yelling at them. For the wrong things, I thought. If my kids missed that many layups, that's all we'd be doing at practice. And running.

Institute. Rod taught an interesting interim lesson this week. Nothing new, but some misunderstood and confusing stuff, especially because it's hard to picture life in the 1830's from my bug-free bed in my air conditioned house.

So cute.

Let me tell you something about Mormon history for a sec. Mormons, from their inception (or restoration), were very progressive. In a time where slavery was still a thing, we accepted and loved our brown friends and treated them as equals. They got the priesthood, interracial marriages were a thing, and life was pretty good.

Except that the world still saw black people as a different species, as savages. Associating with POC's was thought to decrease civility and cause a return to barbaric tendencies - and light skins who married dark skins were seen as declining their race. And you could kill blacks/their families without consequence.

90's Rap style.

Which was a problem, because there were already laws in place allowing people to kill Mormons on sight. So our intermingling with POC's only enhanced the issue. Which is why, we kind of took a step back - and stopped giving blacks the PH for a time. An unfortunate and awful restriction, but necessary for the survival of the church. Glad we're over that now.

The Lone Ranger

This title describes my current situation for many reasons.

First of all, I'm single.

Secondly, I've been dog sitting for a coworker who lives garbage far away from civilization so I have been intentionally antisocial. And it's been glorious.

And thirdly, the Blessed Mother^TM sent me her cowgirl boots that I haven't removed since opening the package.

Unfortunately, I don't know enough about the Lone Ranger to make further comparisons. Apologies.

Coming soon to a YouTube near you. Also, I realized I have seventeen (17) followers. What?!
I mean, they're probably all 12-year-old girls, but that's fine.

Peter's computer programming classes are already coming in handy for subtle, but important nefarious plots and we had round two on Friday. It's good stuff and it gives my brain a nice workout.

Chris was baptized on Saturday and everyone cried. I just got a small child stuck in the trash.

I went to Adam's birthday party and sat uncomfortably close to Jenson - who actually agreed on a talent show act. Now we're all excited. I knew my extensive YouTube knowledge would come in handy some day.

Tome It Down Kid

The older I get, the more time I have to think about who I am enough to put it into words. Things that may be obvious to others, aren't quite so obvious to me, mainly because I don't typically care to think about them. For instance, I never knew I was bossy until halfway through my mission.

My new epiphany is this: I love to read. I knew this. I always knew this. But I didn't realize how much. I always make fun of Shiboi because he loves watching movies - to the extent that he will stop watching a movie to watch another movies so he can watch more movies. Which seems outlandish.

BUT I LITERALLY STOP READING BOOKS SO I CAN READ MORE BOOKS.

On an unrelated note, I have now finished the Mortal Instruments stem series.

Coolest kid you know. Shoddiest beats.

And while I'm hyping myself up for quality accomplishments - have I mentioned what a good leader I am? I mean, delegation is still a hard thing for me (BUT I DO IT), but mainly I'm just talking about having efficient meetings. Fifteen minutes in and out. Bam. (Close quote, Emeril.)

I also still sound vaguely like a man. I was debating about trying out for a female quartet as the bass, but my phlegm-filled lungs are currently preventing the necessary breathing techniques.

Crazy enough to kill, but with a little effort behind it.

While my voice may sound like I've been taking testosterone supplements, the flesh is that of an eighty-year old man with seven previous knee replacements. Also my attitude. And thus I was of limited (albeit still valuable) help while transferring furniture chez moi for the upcoming nuptials. (Not mine.)

And speaking of nuptials that AREN'T happening, the Tempe Institute had a dance this week where you HAD to dress up nice and you HAD to have a date or you'd be refused entry. Allegedly. My date also got sick (not how you wanted to end up here, eh Charlie?), so I took my friend Joe Bale instead. And it was a delight being part of the hoodrat pack.

The Hoodrats.

Oh, did I mention that Rod and I had a nice conversation this week? It started with the insanity scale and ended on levels of fertility. (High, on both accounts, if you were wondering.)

Oompa Loompa Doompety Dum
That's my Sister, she's got a nice bum. 

Olivia, my favorite Oompa Loompa, had her final performance of Willy Wonka. It was well-done (ish) and reminded me why I hate the song Cheer Up, Charlie. And then we all crashed back at the ranch with some Ghost Ghirls. Classic.

ChinGear

Just three days of ten hour shifts this week and I was cruising. 

Just three hours of driving before Greg sent me the hotel address I was headed for. 

Just another two hours of driving before I realized the address he sent me was in Yuma, AZ. 

And another four before I finally made it to LA. 

"Our family is so strange, we should be
cast in Stranger Things as the demigorgons."

Thanksgiving was tight in the cramped studio apartment, but it was with the Chins, so no complaints. We watched movies and stopped watching movies so we could watch more movies. We ate food and we played games - including Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Flux, and a trivia game. 

The signature manspread. 

I started Shan's favorite book series while the rest of the family played. I'm like the Derek of books - I stop reading books so I can read more books. Not even mad. 

We took D's car to the shop and he borrowed Alex (mine) for the weekend. She needs an oil change prettttyyy bad, but I wasn't anticipating so much driving on this trip. 

Those tortillas sustained us.

First Hollywood adventure was to the Observatory, from which we had a beautiful view of the sunset and Hollywood signs. I like seeing the close-up slow-mo's of the sun surface. And the night sky. Even if I fell asleep during the presentation. 

The inception of ChinGear started here. Get ready for family reunion gear. 

"They sure did do a a good job of hiring people:
a lot of them look like little trolls."

Universal was an adventure to be repeated. I try to play down my nerdiness - but sometimes I just have to face up. I loved Hogsmeade and everything in it. The ride was awesome and exhilarating and I wish I could play real quidditch. The stories and the magic are wonderful and they did a great job at recreating. 

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

Other highlights included the Jurassic Park ride - a water ride with a huge, sheer drop that I was not quite expecting. Water world - which I thought was going to be a dolphin show and ended up with an airplane crashing into the pond. The Single Rider line at the Mummy ride that happened to let us all ride together. The Studio tour - which took us through some boss 4D simulation sets. 

We ended the weekend with a trip to Johnny Rockets, a complementary complimentary postcard from a Russian man, and a long carried home (after deciding that Greg is the worst bed-sharer). 

"You're the predator, ya nasty!"

Things I realized about marriage:

1. I'm not sure I could marry someone who doesn't like to read. 

2. I get why people go stargazing. It's rather nice. But only if nobody talks.

3. It'll be nice to always be able to use the HOV lane on trips. 

WISDOM

Ask and ye shall receive: This is a real principle. Ninety percent of my life is only possible because I unabashedly ask for things. Like food. 

• Cookies and fries. We were at FHE this week (frisbee/volleyball), and I was looking forward to there being cookies. I expressed my disappointment at the lack thereof and we jokingly asked our leaders for cookies and some kind of nacho fries. John and Bart (team MVP's) eagerly agreed and took us out for second dinner. Love them. They still aren't invited to Fight Club.

MVPs though. 

• Computer hacking skills. Rather than actual monetary compensation for my personal training services, Peter is trading me for coding lessons. Because I asked. So if my blog gets to be really posh and high-tech, that's why. I'm excited for yet another useful skill. 

• Ice cream and French. Saturday Stake Conference was B-O-M-B. Hugo - funniest Spaniard you've never met. And there was some clutch ice cream afterwards and (per my request) Andrew Deppe hooked me up with seconds. And the mustached stake food guy got me thirds. AND Andrew introduce me to Noah, who just got back from Congo Kinshasa and speaks beautiful French and (per my request) talked to me for a long time and that's the story of the best day of my life. 

• Old people and KOTD. Jackie hooked me up with some inpatient volunteer hours. Highlight: this 90+ year old woman saw my Jordan's and could not STOP commenting on how classy they looked and asking details on pricing/how to purchase. Can't wait for her to start rolling around the hospital in these suckers. But emphasis on the hookup. 

Christmas cards with her little family. 

• Spiritual blessings. This is a twofer. First, I refused to attend Institute until Rod asked me to come. (For normal humans, it might be more enticing to have a peer invite you, but not this kid.) And second, the missionaries asked Heidi's fiancé when he wanted to be baptized and now it's a real thing. Ask hard questions. Another great example: Who do you love?

• Directions to the Kitchen. I'm never afraid to ask for directions because I'm the literal worst navigator even with Google and Apple maps. Which is good, because both attempted to lead me astray on my way to a colleague's birthday party with homemade enchiladas and wings. Obviously, not something I'm boutta miss out on. 

• Videography and Titling. Things to look forward to - a pokémon themed original rap with music video. And SO to Autumn, Keaton, and Cenita for helping a sister out when asked. 

Ketchum All: coming to a YouTube near you. 

Trip Highlight 6/792

Ten hour days aren't so bad. Actually, they seem the same length as a normal day until about 3 o'clock on Thursday when reality hits. But I had to make up a lot of hours for the day I'd be missing Friday.

Rod's Institute classes are always superb. He said first dates should be max 1h/$4. And I agreed - and then realized that I would probably still say no to quite a few...

Try the "Buttery Nipple" shot. 

Cen and I went out for drinks at Booty's - a Hutchins restaurant (by name only) if I've ever seen one. The drinks were subpar, but the company was good, so no complaints really.

Thursday, I drove my fruit basket home and picked up Autumn to get to the airport. I flew all night via Denver to Charlotte, NC, where I arrived at 3:30 my time. I picked up my rental Jeep (which is outlandishly expensive because I'm underage) and drove the two hours to High Point University.

One of the gates separating this haven from the sketch town.

There were about 15-20 other kids interviewing and we all arrived about the same time to a large room with tables and name tags. Naturally, I felt way more comfortable sitting with the teachers. We sat and chatted and teased one about her scandalous SC knowledge. It was nice.

They have super nice, state-of-the-art research/clinic/classroom facilities. And they come from an athletics base, which is ideal. The campus is beautiful (aside from the creepy 20-ft nutcrackers everywhere) and there are tons of stuff students can get for free - printing, arcade access, movies, etc.

Trev would love this.

I just don't know how I feel about it yet.

My actual interview were pretty good since I had already spoken to the professors. It ended up being more of a question/answer session for me.

Afterwards, I dropped off my rental and met up with Sam Boyd, my old apprentice from HS. I love her because she hates people, lives in isolation with her dog, teaches P.E., and is super nice.

Trip Highlights:

Indian Trail welcomes you!

• A giant straw man. 

• FB stalking and reminiscing.



Best fries. 

• Bojangles chicken, spiced fries, and cheer wine. 

• Wingate basketball and a drippy tower thing. 

• We both still have our LHS mugs.



Saved from Death Row.

• Geno.

• Losing bowling, soccer, track, and ping pong - but not by much.

• The "fun" room.

• The Russian chicken toy. 



I need more colors and denser trees. 

• Trees.

• Watching Hook. And Lemonade Mouth - which I was wayy into.

The Virginia Slice.

• Pizza the size of my face. 

• And French pastries. 

• Chocolate shakes. 

• Tyson chicken factory

• Nugs, not drugs. 

Sam Boyd, herself. 

I flew back early Sunday and went straight to church, where everyone made fun of me for wearing a jersey. At least I was there. And I actually played a game at Bo Jale's cookie night - "Gossip" where you make up outlandish lies about people.

Here for the Boos

(Un)fortunately, no takers.

The Stake put on a Halloween Carnival. Which ended up being a great time to just mingle - naturally, I talked to Rod and his wife almost the entire time. And crushing some kid in musical chairs.

 Tuesday was actual Halloween, so the whole gang dressed up as the Seven Dwarves, with Shea's daughter Isla as our Snow White. Classy kids.

Day time haunts.

I went trick or treating in a few friends neighborhoods, including Tom (and his whole Bible class, who were all waiting for me) and Peter (who didn't know I was actually coming).

Then I hung out with some kids back in my adult costume (which was actually much less scandalous than the bright blue tights of my childish one).

Institute, getting crunk. And by that,
I mean being responsible adults of course.

Wednesday turned into a girls night with Autumn, Payton, Cenita, and Addison. We had nachos, piña coladas, and watched New Girl. Note to all: Goya cream of coconut is available by pre-order only. 

I had a nice, long chat with Bryan before his impending move to Utah. Then he misled me, or rather, I misled myself, on the way to his farewell party. Still made it, just fashionably late.

RIP White House. 

I basically spent all day at work on Friday- early morning at the clinic, to personal training with Peter, to CCV Stars at night (my last). It was a long day, I was tired, and after this week, done with personal contact. I checked out for a bit.

Saturday was ideal. I slept in, took care of a few chores while watching Stranger Things II. Then I hit up the temple, calling my favorite human, Kenneth Gordon Hutchins en route. [The man who found a soap bear I carved for him almost 15 years ago.] I borrowed Bart's keys to shoot some hoops. I did some shopping and made myself a bomb-a smoothie and some more bread while talking to the fam.

The comeback.

I Want to Be A Splendid Ninja

Made this bread last Sunday. I'm thinking about making it a habit. It was mad good - and at some point I want to make it into sandwiches and French toast.

Bread of Life.

I skipped FHE, but brought Joe a pumpkin. I did go to Institute with Hot Rod - whose birthday it was - so I brought him a shake from Sonic.

Rod: I'm not getting any thinner...Me: Or younger. HBD, guy.

The new Atlantis Grail book came out on Apple Books. Bought it, read it. Can't wait for the next one. There was a bit too much romance for my taste, but the story is good.

Where dec pokés at? Pokémon Go me.

I got needled this week. It's like acupuncture with needles that go down to the bone and are twisted and repeatedly "pecked" against it. Then you hook up a stim unit and electrocute yourself through the needles.

Only five more needles left to stick.

There were no real injuries Friday night at the Stars games! It was nice. Annnddddd I got a free lemonade. Jackpot.

Then I went to Alex's birthday party, ate some snacks, rapped with helium, and sat by a fire. I chatted with Cen and Kaleb for a bit chez-eux.

And this appeared on my car on my way out.
No complaints, frankly.

I hit up the temple right quick Saturday morning. Love that place. And then I met some kids for free Chick-fil-Bae.

This was all free. Holla back. #moochlife

I skyped the fam and some old friends and caught up on life. It was nice. Even if we're all crazy chumps. Then I got ready for Halloween, Part I/III. If you've ever seen the hit anime series, Naruto, then you'll recognize the blue version of Rock Lee. (I swear this morph suit was green online.)

My motto is to be stronger than yesterday.
If I have to, I'll be stronger than half a day
ago, even a minute ago!

First, I hit up a family party with Kaleb, Autumn, and Matt. We ate out of delicious bread bowls. And had dry ice root beer. And snuck out for a bit to hit up the Trunk or Treat half a block away. Where we were assaulted by a gang of fourth graders. (We won.)

I work hard and never give up! That is my gift,
my ninja way!

 Then Kaleb and I left to go to a dance party nearer chez-nous. It was sub par, but there was a hilariously creepy clown whose dance moves were absolutely mesmerizing. Also the deejay was a joker. And my guy Sam dressed up as Steve Irwin - classic.

I want to show that I can be a splendid ninja even if
I do not have ninjutsu or genjutsu!

 Then we went to my place to watch Jumanji - a classic. And I started watching Stranger Things 2, and this morning, it's The Scarlet Pimpernel. A lot of movies this week.