Arm Wrestle with the Devil Himself

     Here's a French language tidbit just for T Dawg. (That means Tina, so somebody make sure she sees this!) The word "sage" means wise in French. It means that in English too, but it's less commonly used. I have to say this word all the time. When I quote James 1:5, when I describe myself, you know. 

Landre's I Spy house

     Last week I was so tired I took a nap. On P day. For like 40 minutes. It was absolutely vital and revitalizing. Not sure if that's a word, but I've been throwing made-up words into essays for years now. Oh boy we had a killer week. Let me tell you about Tuesday. We had an apartment check by the Millers, our senior couple here, mainly to give us a new toilet seat. Not sure how it happened, but it literally broke off from the toilet!  We weren't sure what to do with the old toilet seat, so I hung it on the lamp fixture on the wall. We had a small discussion about what to do with this ward because everyone has a feud with everyone else and it's kind of ridiculous at this point. We can't exactly feel comfortable bringing ami's into a ward where people have "allergies" to other people. So we came up with a game plan. Our RDV fell through, so we went to find a less active. His address wasn't on the ward list, but we found it anyways! He lives next to a restaurant and the owner came out and told use when he's home so now we can stop by. We also met a cool guy with a Muslim background who has a family and really wanted to go to conference. Then I contacted this hilarious man! He has 26 variations of the Bible and the Book of Mormon (which he hasn't read!) and he told us to call him Francois le Diable. He kept trying to argue about why he couldn't read the book or why we shouldn't talk to him and I finally just said, "Look. Let's have an arm wrestle and if I win, you have to read the book." He said no, but he got a good laugh out of that. We had another RDV with two amis, one broke up with us and the other is actually interested, so that's exciting! Then we went to go try to visit a less active and we met a girl who wants to learn about eternal families and gave us her number. Then, we contacted a girl at a bus stop-turns out she's a member who's been here for two months and hasn't known where the church was! Good thing there was a traffic jam, so we had barely enough time to get her number, because the bus came! Then we saw a recently reactivated member, Frere Picard, pushing his car. So we went over and pushed his car all the way to the gas station. I contacted some guy across the street in his car. He yelled Wait there! He drove around the round about and pulled over to give us his number. We met another young guy almost immediately and got his number and fixed a RDV. Then a Portuguese couple who speaks a little French. And that night we had a RDV with the coolest guy ever who will probably be baptized in like 3 weeks. I wish he didn't have to move to Paris two days later, but there is very little work to be found in southern France. Unless you like to pick grapes on plants they cut off at a meter. Talk about back-breaking. Wowzers. I can say that because I have an Inspector Gadget jacket. What a day. We are teaching the Portuguese couple and the young guy, Lewis, who we fixed a RDV with. They are awesome. 

Hey Hootchkins!

     Other highlights of the week. I did an exchange with the sisters in Dijon and maybe found them a new ami. There was a lady sitting on a park bench, and I just held up a BOM and said, "Do you want to read this?" Pourquoi pas? Why not? Good question. Fixed a RDV for them. I came home and the sisters had set up a pretty good prank for me. First I was lured into my bed by an expired fruitcake. I didn't want it, but they kept telling me to eat it. Sister Packard said, pose with it so we can take a picture! So I kind of lounged out and held it above my head, like someone was feeding it to me. And there, above me, was our toilet seat, tied to my bed, with a creepy picture of a member and a note that said "Missed ya, Hootchkins!" I laughed for about ten minutes. That's how people say my name here. Weird.

      I ate dinner at the Landre's house. No explanation for that, you just have to see the pictures. They have a theme of knives and butterflies throughout their whole house. But their house is more like an I Spy book. Sunday we watched about four thousand hours of conference. Our Branch President said we couldn't do it at church, so that was awkward for all those people we invited to come watch with us. We watched it at the Millers' house with some other members. We watched in English in one room, while they watched in French. Their house is kind of cold, so I definitely brought my footy pajamas for this event. Frere Picard was laughing for twenty minutes. No exaggeration. After that, all you had to do was point at me and nod and smile, and he'd crack up again. He's never seen foot pajamas before. Quality. 

     

Goin' for 'Sweet and Innocent'...Riiiight!

Funny story regarding conference. Earlier this week, Frere Landre, our DMP, told me that he let the missionaries come over originally to his house because they were really sweet and innocent and submissive. Then he told me I wasn't like that and I need to be more submissive. If I arm wrestle a guy, I need to let him win, if only to make him feel good about himself. (Then he taught me a sneaky way to win, so I'm getting mixed messages...) Anyhow, he went on for about ten minutes about how I'm really tall and aggressive and Sister Packard is really good at being sweet. Then we had the conference talk by D. Todd Christofferson about how we have enough women who are tough, we need more meek ones. I laughed about that. Okay! I get the message! Although I might wait to apply this fully until after my mission. While I'm a missionary, I can blame winning arm wrestling matches on the strength of the Lord. Go invite someone to an activity! You have no idea how vital members are to missionaries. Start preparing people. A member of our ward has his first run-in with the church as a child at a member's birthday party with a chocolate fondue. Now, he's a member. Paint a badge on your heart, put your man pants on, and calligraphy pen ready, and go invite someone!