Leon Trotsky Thinks You're Hotsky

Fun fact about college: all events offer either t shirts or food in order to increase attendance. I like this.

 

I'm wearing real clothes. And
a scarf from my Gma. 

After church Sunday, Derek and I drove Ben's car back up to his house for Lindon and stayed for family dinner. It's been far too long since I've attended one of these, although I don't remember there being so many people. Roger brought his wife and his bff Lee, Tanner is back and Hunter is here now, and Derek and I are both back. Crazy. Joy made us delicious waffles with fruit and whipped cream and then we watched Frozen until we had to be back for ward prayer. Game Night was a riot- Derek brought people, my roommates brought people, and I brought people. (Things got weird when one of the people invited asked Derek's BF's GF on a date...) That and the general craziness of TI made for an eventful evening. Alexis Carre came -all the way from France- and Hailey Howden left me with some crepes.
Monday I ran a real mile for the first time. I got my goal of 8m30s, but it was...rough. I also found this bar in my closet that I tried to use for a pull-up bar. It worked for about three days until I forgot to be gentle and just kind of jumped on it because I was so excited to practice my pull-ups. Don't worry. Screwed that baby back into the wall. I caught the end of FHE, where we were writing Valentines/pickup lines. Noah won with If you were a superhero, you'd be Batman. Cuz he's the best. Think about it. Makes sense. My comment of the night, however, goes to Myles:

Win. 

    Are you a terrorist? Because you're the BOMB!
    Myles: Strapped to his chest....
Tuesday night we had our water polo game. Our strategy, since we want a t shirt, is to get bumped down into the lower division. So after we were winning by a ridiculous amount in the first 5 minutes, I started shooting with my left hand. And sometimes mission on purpose, or taking crazy precise shots. At half time, I switched to defense and John switched to goalie. The girls down there were playing dirty. I got kicked in my body. I mean, tubes are typical, but actually kicking the person? Yikes. They won by two because John didn't try to block any of their goals, we only half tried to block their shots, and we told the refs they got a goal when they really didn't. That loss was frustrating because they thought it was real and because they were cheating so badly. Mals, Sage, and I dropped by her institute for the post-class snacks. Then I remembered that it's 2 for 1 Crazy Bread at Little Caesar's Pizza. So we went in at 9pm and the guy told us that the deal ended at 8. So we bought one crazy bread and a pizza. As we were walking out, he yelled out, JK about the 8 o'clock thing! That swindler. It's Honor Week. You can't lie during Honor Week.
I used a combination of deals to get a $12 Subway meal absolutely free. I ate it with Wheeler Heck in the YServe office. Then I went to French Club's Mardi Gras event with the Rellaford brothers. Got myself some hot chocolate and a t shirt. I also got a free cookie and hot chocolate in the Wilk earlier in the day and ended my Ultrasound trial. I'm a rich man. Thursday I got a free waffle dinner (much deserved after that ridiculous finance exam I took). I also watched a guy do a triple bypass surgery and some vein harvesting. Gross. In his own words, This should make your butt pucker. I don't know what that means, but I agree. Then I went to Brick Oven with Shiboi for some free pizza (in exchange for listening to a Living Scriptures presentation during which a multitude of witty comments were made and all of them by me).

What does it mean-
to be someone's
Valentine?!

Friday, Lavinia received a stuffed animal and chocolates and agreed to be some kid's Valentine-but only for today- and then stole my mom's phone and texted me about it. She's 9. Victoria Beeny brought me free lunch. I hung out with the men's basketball team all afternoon and a goodly number know people in the France Lyon Mission. So we just talked about missions and
basketball, my two favorite topics. I also got to practice taping with their AT. Apparently I'm really pretty good. I watched Romantics Anonymous (a silly French movie) with Kjersti and Clara. Then Caleb Smith and Derek Sanchez drove me to a dance recital. I watched Emarie dance and then we went to a real dance. I love dancing. We didn't know anyone, so we danced with everyone until we found the funnest boys. Then we just danced with them. And helped them jump their car. Also, there was a chocolate fondue and strawberries. I slept at Emarie's and we watched a movie.

Thanks, dad. 

Early Saturday morning, Emarie and I went to the temple. Derek and I went to the mall to talk to the Living Scriptures guy a bit more and stopped in H&M. I'm a much better shopper than I used to be. And I like shopping with Derek. We were in there for 15 minutes and found the best deals. I spent $11 on two shirts that I really like. I played frisbee with the ward. At one point, a random guy who had joined us took his shirt off. Weird. When my team was deciding to play a man defense, the guy next to me leans over and says, I guess I'll take the shirtless guy. I mean, I don't have to touch him, do I? Let's hope not. I'd been avoiding it all game. Then Lauren and I went to the store and it was jam packed, so we were freaking out with our windows rolled down until an old man yelled Do you need a spot? And then waited for us to pull up to his car so we could park in his spot. We made cupcakes and took a nap. Then we got some Mexican food to celebrate Arizona's birthday. Then the real fun began. Who's seen the Call Your Girlfriend music video? Well, we made our own.

Happy Valentine's Day. 

Watch these two videos simultaneously. Start the bottom one first. Mute the top one. Enjoy.

And just for old times' sake, here's a post from a secret, communal blog from that one time I tried to fly home over winter break and got stuck in the airport for four hours. Thank heavens for Lauren Bellon's quick-wittedness and ability to text back. 

So Gnomey and I had quite the day today. Here is a glimpse into our text messages. Lets start with the ones that started it all:
1. Roses are red, foxes are clever. Can I touch your butt, like maybe forever?
2. Roses are red, you're such a tease, when I see your butt I wanna give it a squeeze.
3. Roses are red, I don't mean to be pushy but give me a chance- can I touch your tushy?
4.Roses are red- and beware this is crass- but I like you a lot and also your
5. Roses are red please won't you be mine? Your butt is so plump and deliciously fine.
6. Roses are red and i'm in a slump, but i'd like to end it by touching your rump.
7. Your butt is nice, we'll leave it at that, but maybe tonight, I can give it a pat?
8. Your boyfriends not here and nor is your pap, it's time to give your butt a tap.
9. Roses are red, do you have the runs? Cause that'll be awkward when I touch your buns.
10. Roses are red, i'm glad you're no granny because i'm no creep when I touch your fanny.
11. Roses are red, don't be so coy. Can I touch your butt if i'm a good little boy?
12. Roses are red, now please do not fight. Cuz when I hold your butt, I hold it real tight.
13. Roses are red, don't be so whiney, I like it a lot when you shake your hiney.
14. Roses are red, I like you so much. And also your butt, can I give it a touch?
15.Roses are red, now listen up cutie, I'm not a pirate, but I sure like your booty.
16. I've lost track it might be the rum. Or maybe the pleasure of touching your bum.
17. Roses are red, I bought you a papus -a, in exchange would you let me touch your caboose- a?
18. Roses are red, you're a fine piece of meat, now relax my young lass, while I handle your seat.
19. Roses are red, stop with the twitch, I'll give it a scratch if your bum has an itch.
20. Roses are red, if you'd be so kind, to give me a kiss as I squeeze your behind.
21. Roses are red, rich people are snooty. Don't hold it against me but you have a nice booty.
22. Roses are red, homeless live in the slum, I know this is forward but can I touch your bum?
23. Roses are red, this is a new tactic, I like your butt and I just want to smack it.
24. Roses are red, my morals are loose and that is why I wanna touch your caboose.
25. Roses are red I can't help but stare, when I walk behind you at your deriere.
26. I am so close, just one more inch, before I reach out and give your bum a pinch.
27. Roses are red, the heavens I'll be thanking, for the moment I can give your bum a spanking.
28. Roses are red, scissors can cut, I sure do like your badonkadonk butt.
29. Roses are red, I have a faucet that leaks I think you're attractive and want to touch your cheeks.
30. Roses are red, and I'm not a quaker, I sure do  like when you shake your money maker.
31. Roses are red, I can use nun chucks, I would be happy with my hand on your buttocks.
32. Roses are red, my point might be mute, but there is nothing I like more than touching your glutes.
33. Roses are red, now listen  my dear there are few things as fine as your adorable rear.
34. Roses are red, I sure do love easter, please be a dear and let me grab your keester.
35. Roses are red, plugs go in a socket, can I walk with my hand in your back pocket?
36. Roses are red, let me reach out my arm. If your butt is cold, then I'll keep it warm.
37. Roses are red, I love the autumn there is nothing quite like your perfect bottom.
38. Roses are red, the sun shines bright, I can't really think when your bum is in sight.