You know it's a good week when you are constantly reminded of your guilts.
Here's the original painting I made for Shiboi. Hope Shennsley likes it too.
Rachel May and I fulfilled our poutine quota for the week and while she went shopping for christmas gifts, I got my 1577 Geneva Bible page framed at PRoney's store, Zion's Mercantile, for 50% off.
Dad arrived in Provo late Monday night and all the decisions that were made by the three boys were awful. First, to park Dad's rental in the parking lot in Provo. I'm not surprised at all he got booted. Second, to pick me up at 5:20 to make a 6am temple session. It's five minutes away, plus a ten minute changing time/grace period. Third, to go to the Provo temple, which was closed.
We ended up in the font at Payson instead, where it took them about fifteen minutes to change out of their jumpsuits. So I laid down on the unbelievably plush benches and had a nice chat with the workers, about twelve of them. It started like this, "Well with the rain coming down like that, aren't you glad you're not a pioneer today?"
Dino Egg Oatmeal.
Greg made Dad oatmeal for breakfast, another poor decision. And this is why he wants to live with me when he's old: I eat all his favorite foods. Which means tacos, paninis, and any breakfast food.
Where do they even sell Necco wafers anymore? This chump.
Greg had some technical difficulties during our mysterious "computer session". Good thing we started early. 9:30 sharp we were off to Logan.
We dropped by Maddox Steakhouse for takeout burgers in Brigham City on the way to Hannah's game. After our arrival at the Spec, Dad decided to ask the natives where he could park to avoid another boot. That convo started like this, "Howdy!"
Yikes. Since there was a total of ten people in the stands, we all got to participate in the festivities during time outs.
I won the Ugly Sweater Competition.
I was the only entry. Not even mad.
Dad almost got to do the Gift Exchange.
And I volunteered Greg and Derek for bungee basketball.
You're welcome.
Shiboi's half. He lost. Probably because he's premature.
After we got Hannah and headed back to Kaysville, we picked up some food and tickets to Star Wars. Hannah and I were on the same page: Kylo Ren must've gotten all the recessive genes cuz, yikes. She at least attempted to choke down a scream when he took his helmet off.
Some ingenious fellow created an Emo Kylo Ren twitter account. And although I don't have a twitter, I found these quite humorous, although probably don't read them if you haven't seen the movie yet. Here's a taste:
1. Hux and I are building a new Death Star in place of the one that broke. It will be the same, but bigger. 2. Uncle Lando said my helmet makes me look like a depressed lampshade then everyone laughed and hi-fived him. I hate this family so much. 3. Today Hux and I took quizzes to find our Hogwarts houses. He got Slytherin. I got Hufflepuff the first time, but it was a mistake. 4. Dad the rookie used all my Garner Fructis 5. Hux and I are wearing black to commemorate the defeat at the Battle of Endor. We both always wear black, but today it means more. 6. I told Hux that I didn't think much of his name for our band. He said I should go solo. I said never to mention that name again.
We played the accent game, which I will never win. And also Titanic and Life, both of which I won, and with hoards of money. Derek says it's the opposite of real life, in which I will have ten kids, a vegetable husband, and no money. Preach.
One gift was opened each day. Here's Tuesday's.
Drink Gatorade. Thank you.
It's expensive.
Wednesday I convinced Dad to do some P90X. I helped Derek and Hannah through a booty workout. Hannah requested it, but DJ Saggy Booty was voluntold. He did get two cardios in when he ran across the street. Then he had to run back across the street later, so that's two. We're still not sure where Greg was during all of this.
Our first stop in the real world was for some German Plunderschnecke. It's delicious. And highly recommended.
Then, while Hannah was trying to buy an iPhone (which didn't happen since she has no government-issued ID), D, G, and I went to the toy store across the hall. And saw this demon puppy trying to escape.
Then we went to Deseret Book, Dad's favorite store. We were all very enthralled with the books. Also a lego set called "Brick 'Em Young". And this manger set up.
We then found the Church History Museum, Dad's favorite museum. Where, according to the tour guides (aka us), everything was originally owned by Joseph Smith himself. It was no small coincidence that we visited the museum on the man's birthday. (Just a big coincidence.)
We made him do all the activities. This was the most challenging.
Hannah's face though...
Cinder Hannah. You were absolutely right.
Found this.
We had to leave after the first floor in order to see the GParents in Sunset. Papa Bear, having just had surgery, was only allowed to sit for 15 minutes. After that time had passed, the time limit changed to an hour, apparently.
Granny B fed us the most gourmet and delicious applesauce we've ever had.
And we enjoyed their company for a good hour or so.
The Hutchins Clan then headed to Amy's for some frivolity and food. And here's a quote from the Stake President: "I brought the alcohol." We ate, drank, and were merry. We met up with Brooklyn at one of Utah's first, albeit already highly successful, Dunkin Donuts.
Loving Hannah's and my contrasting sweatshirts.
We brought all of our presents home to Kaysville in an even tighter "Pri-o". Good thing we didn't have to pause at the Petrol Shop on the way back.
As soon as we arrived, we set up Tree Hutchins. And stole some batteries, which were in the fridge.
This night we opened up Christmas towels. Which are possibly the only towels capable of covering a Hutchins body. (Except Derek's, but he was premature, so he doesn't really count anyways.)
Thursday we all wore our Christmas sweaters. Except Greg. So we teased him all day, even though we were celebrating his birthday at Tucano's. Our waiter, Zach, agreed. Zach complimented our sweaters and complimented Greg on his originality. Then, after our outburst, he said, Well, it was a sarcastic compliment. I'm really on your side. Holla, Zachary. We ate tons of meat, including chicken heart. The code word to flip over the signaling beacon was "apricot". Once we flipped it right as a waiter was coming over. He stopped mid-run, with a very sad face, and retreated. Another waiter, seeing that our beacon was on red, danced tantalizingly with meat by our table to "Carol of the Bells", which was playing. Then we all shared a chocolate cake that Hannah could've eaten herself.
Dad was boosting us left and right with comments like these:
After some digestion, we went to see the lights. Since this was Dad's favorite day, we reminded him by letting him choose where we turned next. Don't worry-we got to see African Jesus and the mini SLC temple replica. And didn't get a boot.
Best day of my life. -Dad
We all opened one present. We made Greg open one from me because we knew it was a Christmas sweater and he didn't have one. After being teased all day for not wearing one, he was much relieved. We skyped Mimi and Grampy (who also boosted us). After claiming characters, we ended the night by watching Clue and feasting on guacamole and homemade popcorn.
We also came up with some Moriah memes, in memory of our favorite sister.
Other captions include (but are not limited to):
-When words are your life -When Alma's your boyfriend, but he ain't real -When you only wanna eat, but you got diarrhea -When you wanna play Uno, but you gotta go to bed -Eats 17 sandwiches. Still hungry. -When Naomi doesn't let you go to bed early. -When there's 17 laps to go, but your leg's broken -When you tryna go potty: please.
Friday we awoke relatively late and feasted on Mom's coconut bread. Yum.
We opened presents. Greg, as the self-designated "hander-outer", was voted to open presents every other one. I'm sure you'll hear more about these gifts in the weeks to come.
We had to do it all in half an hour so that we could Skype the family and show them their Christmas presents. The first, a special request from Kevin
The second, a pieced-together film from segments left on the video camera from ages ago.
And the third, a mixture of everything. This has been especially useful in explaining my family to other people.
We packed up and shoved everything Provo-bound into the car and headed to Uncle Ben's. Where we let Dad and Greg play board games like they've always dreamed, and Hannah and I played Just Dance like we've always dreamed. And we let Derek play once.
We also watched Home Alone 2, which we were never permitted to watch as children, while eating Joy's guacamole. And Holy Guacamole! After enjoying time with our cousins, we enjoyed a real feast of steak, salmon, and chocolate cake with them. Then I went home to sleep it off.
Spiritual Thought of the week comes in the form of a surprisingly accurate and succinct Bible summary:
Genesis
God: Alright you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
Satan: You should do the thing.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
God: What happened?!
Adam & Eve: We did the thing.
God: Guys....
The Rest of the OT
God: You are my people, and you should not do the things.
People: We won't do the things.
God: Good.
People: We did the things.
God: Guys....
The Gospels
Jesus: I am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore.
Healed people: Okay! Thank you!
Other people: We've never seen him do the things, but he probably does the things when no one is looking.
Jesus: I have never done the things.
Other people: We're going to put you on trial for doing the things.
Pilate: Did you do the things?
Jesus: No.
Pilate: He didn't do the things.
Other people: Kill him anyway.
Pilate: Okay.
Jesus: Guys....
Paul's Letters
People: We did the things.
Paul: Jesus still loves you and because of Him you have to stop doing the things.
People: Okay.
Paul's Letters Part II
People: We did the things again.
Paul: Guys....
Revelation
John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things.
May we all stop doing the things. Peace and blessins. Peace and blessins.
Fine. They're so fine. I was literally not even worried.
All my exams were scheduled, one a day basically, until Thursday: Chemistry, Lower Extremity Injuries, another practical exam, French, and Therapeutic Modalities. For the minimal studying and worrying that I've done, I'm not mad. I'd much rather my schedule than my roommate's, who studied 14 hours straight for just one of her exams in order to get a 4.0 for the semester.
In the middle of the week, while I was relaxing instead of studying, my roommates found out that I'd never seen Nacho Libre, so we watched it. Really we watched it so that I could use pieces of it in Episode 2 of How to Pull A Handcart 101. Several sketches are now written, FYI.
Remember how I wrote a rap for my teacher about a random guy in 2 paragraphs of our textbook? Well, his family contacted me this week. His daughter happened to Google his name and found the rap. She messaged me via Facebook, asking about the project. Meanwhile, a grandson subscribed to my channel and commented on the video. But most importantly, my teacher, Dr. Draper, loved it. He asked me to send him a link. The song was stuck in his head for dayyyysssss.
I sold some textbooks back for more than what I paid for them. I'm a rich man :)
I went to lunch with my favorite couple, John and Sarah, and John's roommate, Jacob. We went to Old Spaghetti factory, which was originally built at an old train station apparently. We like to tease each other. Jacob apparently said he wanted to be the victim today so he could have all the attention. Well, he asked for it...
Star Wars. No spoilers here, but it was a good movie. My favorite character is Po. Hilarious. Before the movie started, some kids were chucking jelly beans at people and I caught one. Anytime people cheered or yelled things, we turned to each other and said, Bean 'em!
My google account joined the light side. This applies to Google maps, apparently.
When I got home, Lindsey wanted to hang out. So we watched the end of Divergent and the whole things of Terminator Genisys, which I think is appropriate for this technological age.
Sarah, John, Lindsey, and I played HeadsUp, which is always a laugh. If you're wondering, Margaret Thatcher is the Iron Lady. Who knew?
I borrowed the last book of the Lunar Chronicles and, as usual, finished it within a day. I ran to return it to my friend's house, without realizing beforehand just how far I would be running. A few miles later, I dropped it off and started off on the few miles back. Yeahhhhh, physical activity!
I finished the third part of my twenty-five part squid painting series, which I will be giving to Derek for Christmas. Rachel May and Kevin Sanderlin are next on the list, so if you want one, you better sign up quick. Pictures next week, since Derek hasn't seen it yet.
I was listening to Harry Potter on tape while checking tasks off my list. Reminded me of the good old days when I would listen to the audiobooks to fall asleep or while I was cleaning my room, or whatever. I made banana bread from some old bananas. Yum.
I set Greg up on a date with my mission friend, Sarah Bagley. I want that to happen so bad.
After their date, Sarah and I met up for a reception for the eloped Elder Adamson. He didn't seem too keen on talking to mission friends. Probably because we're all mad he eloped. I did get to know Mattias Behling better. Sarah and I questioned him relentlessly. He's funny. He seems very shy, but sometimes says things that are rather bold, but in his quiet, unassuming way. We hogged the photo booth and touched all the homemade toffee.
Sunday I went to church with Greg and Vay and Alexis from my mission. Guess who was voted most disruptive? Still me. I made it past Sacrament. But I just get fidgety when I sit with family members.
Here's a little known fact about me. Unless you actually know me. My favorite game is "Remember when..." which is where we just tell stories about doing ridiculous things. The entire fam loves to remind each other about terrible things we've done to each other or trends we've tried to start. In celebration of this, our favorite pastime, we've been brainstorming the game, GUILT, which will soon come to markets, and be funny to no-one but us. It's a card game that associates family history events with "guilts". Winner is the person with the least guilts by the end of the game. We have to finish it fast, because anyone who wants to marry into the family will have to play this game first.
Here's my new favorite pick up line. Even though it's not entirely appropriate, it's dang funny. Vive la France.
Sunday I made a last-minute decision to go to SLC for the Christmas Devo with Lauren, Chels, and Jared. Of course we then had to see the lights at temple square in the frigid cold. (Still not sure why it's such a big deal...)
But I did run into a bunch of people that I love, including Jacob Pettingill who looks, dresses, and acts similar to Jared, so it was fun to see them together.
Monday morning I got Jacob and some friends together to play basketball and it was so fun and I was smiling all day. Lauren and I studied a bit for one of our upcoming exams at her place after clinicals. All week my place of employment had treats for us in the cafeteria. Ronnie kept trying to get me to take bags and bags of cookies, donuts, and bagels. Holla back.
Wednesday I wrote and finished a 7-page paper. I did P90X. I finished all my homework for the whole school year, even for chemistry. Rachel May and I went to the BYU vs USU game and sat really close to the court. It was a fun game.
And we saw these old guys with binoculars. Classic.
Then she introduced me to the Canadian cuisine known as poutine.
Thursday Cameron Johnson came to town. We went to Malawi's for 2-for-1 pizza, which was delicious (Chicken/Bacon/Ranch and Thai Peanut). We dropped by the Roney's really quick to grab my centuries-old Bible page that I left there as well as a butt-ton of mission CDs to distribute.
We dropped by for the food portion of Caitlin Bailey's bachelorette party and caught up on everyones' lives. Then I showed Cameron some of the movies I've made while I joined into a conference call for RMATA.
Finally, we watched India's Russian Choir/Dance performance. One song was about a woman trying to work up the courage to fix her boots so she could go visit a cute boy in the village and as the girls were singing increasingly loud and fast, a cocky boy just kind of swaggered by.
We sat behind a terrible child. The parents finally got it to calm down and she just wanted to give her mom a kiss. Her mom let her kiss her on the cheek and the baby faked her out and licked her whole cheek instead!
Friday was my last day of clinicals for this semester and it ended with a bang: The Inter-Squad Track Meet. It was kind of fun to watch the pole vaulters and some sprinters. It was also a reading day and a bunch of friends played basketball again and it was super fun.
Lauren and I went to my Athletic Training party at the Blue Zone where we ate copious amounts of homemade Cafe Rio and taught my teacher how to Snapchat.
My class planned to have a sock exchange as part of the festivities, but only two of us remembered to bring socks. So I got some classy new BYU socks. (Which were really expensive in comparison to my $2 aloe-infused fuzzy Christmas socks.)
Lauren and Chels came over for a bit. We ranked countries based on how much we want to visit them. Lauren dressed up like Sisi. (Yeah, just say that backwards...)
We drank my white elephant winnings of sparkling pomegranate cider and toasted to being single forever. Then complained that we needed a man to help us open the bottle.
Saturday morning I took my practical exam. My teacher missed it the first THREE times I scheduled it. Fourth time's the charm, I guess. Hannibal came over for waffles and we caught up. I attended a chem review. Then, when I had plenty of time to study, I was really productive by cleaning my room, showering, cleaning the house, checking out the game notes on BYU vs Colorado.
Sarah Bagley and I tried to go to Kassie Schreiber's homecoming, but the GPS took us to a ski resort instead.
We ended up finding the church only 40 minutes late and just in time for the last speaker. Which was not Kassie.
That's ok, because we hung out with her and her parents and close friends for four hours afterwards and they gave us the SparkNotes version.
Then I visited my old roommates at the Villa and caught up on their love lives. Then Shiboi and I went to Ben's for dinner, where I realized where I get my weirdness from. We had a delicious Joy-cooked meal and watched Home Alone for the first time. And realized why our parents never let us watch it.
My roommates and I hung out at Christian's house and played Headbandz. He gave us an official tour. And I chatted with his mom for a long time. She's great.
