Take It Back Now, Y'All

Well, folks. It’s been quite the ride these last couple of weeks. And suffice it to say I’m getting way worse at this weekly letter-writing thing. I finished up my last week at Pfizer. This included the following:

• A site-wide intern video shooting, where we all were supposed to yell, “We are Pfizer Summer Student Workers!” due to the editing rights being usurped by a bunch of nincompoops from the only sane person on the squad. I’m no longer upset I will never have access to that video.
• The competition for my heart. George won with an epic poem (after Alex withdrew from the competition, the lame-o) that went something like this: NAOMI. Nice. Ass. Oh. Myocardial. Infarction.
• A two-hour ice cream social with unlimited ice cream, underweight Frisbees, enough sun to burn only one shoulder, and the championship kickball and soccer games (which I was not in.)
• More bread. Better bread. Homemade bread. And spices I stole from that restaurant in D.C. Also an understanding that wax paper should NOT in fact be placed under the bread as it’s cooking. Bad. News. Bears.

From my favorite Pfizer Pokestop. Which is a really comfortable couch.

• A fluffernutter lunch and enough free food to kill me. Shout out to my workout crew, Qin, Andy, John, etc.
• Distribution of Temple House Open House invitations, which I conveniently received a mere two days before leaving.
• My final half-day spent eating popcorn and watching the Emperor’s New Groove with my old boss Bruce, who, if you remember, hasn’t seen a movie in living memory. You’re welcome, Bruce.

It wasn’t as good as last summer, but I had fun. Holla back. I cleaned stuff out, packed stuff up, and ate all the gummies in our house. Saturday, I got to spend the day with a lovely woman who wants to be an Olympic sharpshooter one day (and will probably do it). Maureen and I drove up to the Hartford temple to help place crystals in the chandelier for the Celestial Room. It’s a good thing we went, because the other 8 ladies were…less helpful, we’ll say. And Maureen is wonderful and delightful and I can’t say enough good about her.

Please send plane ticket for the dedication.

Kevin spoke in the Singles Ward on Sunday, so I actually went. He did a good job calling me out because he gave 2 talks this summer and yours truly gave nada. The bishopric came to hassle me about it, but what they don’t understand is that I love speaking in church! Also speaking. I like the sound of my voice way too much. I also really enjoy social experimentation. Crowd manipulation. I like to figure out what works well for people in various situations. Alas, if they had only tried harder, I would have been all too willing.

Now let me tell you about this week. I’ve been emailing with my boss, who has been very vague on details. The best I got out of him was to fly in the beginning of this week and show up whenever I got to town. I flew in late Monday, slept at Ben’s, and had ‘jetlag recovery’ on the forefront until Joy could drive me to Provo later. Then I woke up to a few texts from my boss’ secretary saying, Where are you? We need you here now. Great. Mallory Layton sped over, we dropped my stuff off at my future house, and I dropped in to the training room, khakis and a “THUG LIFE: Drop the T and get over here” t-shirt, since all my BYU stuff was packed.

 They gave me a break day one, and everyone thought it was funny anyways. Since then, I’ve been working 12-hour days, eating like a king, and living in the dorms. Which no longer have Wi-Fi in the rooms, so I have to go down to the common room to do Internet things. Ugh. But if you have any question about my eating habits, let me give you some insight: one day they just had to-go boxes for us, each packed with an 18 rack of ribs, mashed potatoes, 2 steaks, and beans. There’s usually more fruits and veggies and chocolate milk involved, but they were only to-go boxes.

Otherwise, basically all I’ve done is work out, eat Oreos, watch Olympics, and work on my comic book. Coming soon to theaters near you. (We hope.)

First season swag.