Our Diet Starts Tomorrow

My diet started on Monday. I've never dieted before, but my trainer said I need to eat about 3000% more protein to prevent my muscles from literally melting off the bone. So far, so good.

Do I even believe in muscle melting away?
Not until sarcopenia hits.

The basketball camp I've been working is almost over - which is a shame, because those little Italian bambinos are finally warming up to me. And realizing that massage does NOT, in fact, solve everything. What a legacy.

I didn't realize, but I guess one of the ladies we work with has been pretty flirty and touchy with my coworker. Which explains why he's always so salty when she comes in. And I get it because I'm the same - if it's not the right person at the right time, I just get super annoyed.

One of my favorite old men, who was awed at the superior quality of LDS hymnals, busted his 4x surgified knee while standing up from a table. It wasn't the knee we were currently treating, but either way, I feel so bad for the poor guy.

Kudos to Autumn for ensuring the deliciosity of these eclairs.

Autumn and I went to a party at Wendy's on Friday (instead of a pool party an hour away in the rain - which I still have moderate regrets about). I interrupted the vastly segregated seating arrangements and promptly got knocked out of a game of Werewolf. Then I won, along with my co-werewolf and lover, Sam. Funny kid.

Joyeux Bastille Day! I ate one of my leftover eclairs and tried to find a good bakery, but in proper French fashion, the only real one was closed for the month of July. Figures. But this Bastille Day is more special because Wheeler and Dee are married now! They are the literal cutest. I love them so much.

The literal cutest. 

After failing to complete several errands, I helped Autumn with hers - including getting her car washed (which is probably something I will never do). We chilled at Kaleb's birthday party for a while until I convinced them to watch What We Do in the Shadows, which is dang funny (credit to Shiboi for suggesting it). And then we met up with another kid to walk around West Gate for a while.