Sunday, March 1, 2015

"A Gentleman Caller, Hooray!"

Yes, that is a quote from Easy A. Yes, I did go on a date this week. Yes, it was weird and terrifying at the same time. But I'll get to that.
Last Sunday, I sang in the ward choir during Sacrament meeting and there's this one part in the song where only the men sing. And sometimes I get bored and don't know what to do, so I just sing with them. Afterwards, Isaac, my ward prayer co-chair, pulled me aside and said, I thought you sang great. Don't be embarrassed if you sing with the boys. Have you ever seen Pitch Perfect? Ok. I don't actually sing that low, which is why I sing super quiet. I like him though. He's really getting into ward prayer now that he has a co that will actually work with him (me). He came over to my apartment yelling like a Mexican and wearing a sombrero and poncho, nice note box in hand. His Mexican laugh is way louder than any vuvuzela. We had too many people at Game Night again. Everyone invited people and those people invited people. Including Zoram Dean, Bryson Moeller, and Matt Behling. One of whom wants to set me up with a guy who'd be perfect for me, after I get out of my missionary phase. Hm.
Monday my boss paid me two awesome cards ($2 free food each) to stay for an extra hour at work. Then kept paying me more because I'm awesome all the time. Mondays are my favorite days of work because I get to work with Caitlyn Roth (sister of Aaron, who used to be one of my best friends) and then Jacob (who is from Switzerland, which is close enough to France, and has excellent taste in music). Jacob was particularly ornery because we had nonstop orders of the same burger and he was getting tired of making it. He decreed that anyone who ordered another would be shot on sight. I studied at the library for once in my life and got home pretty late. Everyday I get home and my roommates are like, Where have you been? We thought you died! They'll figure it out eventually.
I took 2 tests this week. (I have 2 tests every week for the rest of the semester). One was Microbiology, which went super well. I love all things biology. Also all tests that include an essay section. Multiple choice bores me. And I took my French test, which felt good, but I never know with that one. I did have some extra time before my next class, so I took a break and ate a snack and kept trucking on that one. Jesse and I found out our friend Koa is a physics ace, so he came over and helped with our homework. All in all, things seemed extremely manageable this week.
Ben's to my right.
I got to hang out with BYU Men's volleyball and Provo High's soccer teams this week for my AT shadowing hours. Neither of which I liked quite as much as the Men's Basketball team. (Which is funny, because the other trainers say that the basketball team ignores them...) My finance teacher is having all the 'H's sit in the front this week so that he can get to know us better. I accidentally wore my neon construction t shirt and I thought for sure that he would call on me. But, it actually had quite the opposite effect. I think I really threw him off. My non-boss (that thinks she's my boss) at work threw away my ice cream. I went to a Glenwoods reunion for ten minutes and it was kind of weird and tea party-esque. I chilled with Hunter and Tanner for a bit and they fed me nachos and apple pie and refused to give me their pull up bar. I had an interview for the Y Serve videographer and everyone in the office started watching our Ward Prayer video. (I'm hoping it'll go viral, but we'll see.)
I told that one old guy that I would replace him when he dies.
Then I went on a date. Ben's in my ward and my AT taping lab and one of my six original friends. He's got like 8 siblings, all of whom live around here and love this group called the King's Singers. (They own all the CDs and go to all the shows.) And that's who we went to see on a group date with all of their family + dates. Cute. They were actually really entertaining. Afterwards, we tried to get pictures with as many of them as possible. And then we ate ice cream. It was fun. But I still feel like a missionary. I got home and stood there for a second and all of my roommates just laughed at me.
Saturday Lauren and I chilled all day. Doing my HW, and shopping, and filming videos for our future children (or birthdays). I went to a Spirit Animal Dance party for Myles' birthday. Then my roommates told me we had Saturday church, so I had to get dressed real fast and post this picture on Facebook:
Ok. Who wants to drive these attractive women to church tonight?

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Naomi Hutchins Wears Real Clothes. Again.

I love Sundays. They always make me so happy and just refresh me for life. This week, church happened to be particularly excellent. The talks were all great. Sunday school was interesting. And the entire EQ said I should just stay for PH! (I didn't, but I really wanted to and even the bishopric welcomed me with open arms). The family skyped-but most of my roommates missed it. Which is a bummer because they keep saying that meeting my family will explain some things about me. They're probably right:
Ward Prayer turned out well this week. The apartment introduced themselves as if they were a basketball team and it was pretty funny. We got invited to probably 3 or 4 game nights, but got all the good people to come over to our place. Canute narrated a fantastic game of
sun-church was really good, skyped the fam for 2 hours-explains things about me, ward choir/prayer, games werewolf.
Bridal Veils

We nominated the Little Girl as our Village Leader (or tie-breaker) and she was the first to go,     found at my bedside. The villagers voted to kill the witch (who has the power to kill once and save once). Unfortunately, her lover also voted her off and then killed themselves in a fit of grief. Her lover was a werewolf, and apparently a very confused one. The next night, the seer finds out who the remaining werewolf is and is immediately killed. The villagers vote to kill Cupid as well. All that remain are the werewolf and the hunter. The werewolf kills the hunter, but the hunter manages to get off his last shot and the werewolf is also dead. All that remains in the charming village of Kuzcotopia is bloody carnage. 

Monday was a holiday! Emarie Swenson provided crepes at her house and we had a contest between the Tahitian Elder Taua and French Elder Carre to see who could name the most US Presidents in honor of the day. Carre won. Emarie and I 'hiked' Bridal Veil Falls with the guys we met at a dance Friday. Pictures to come. And I went to FHE because they played volleyball. It's the worst when they trick you into coming by doing an activity that you enjoy.
Tuesday my roommates thought I was dead. I went to school. I worked. I studied. I went to Hannibal's house for some Taco Salad and pleasant conversation. I took (and did very badly on) my Physics test (only to find out that the rest of the class did equally poorly). I had a sweet basketball game where I kind of remembered how to play. And I made myself a root beer float with sprinkles ice cream. The middle days of the week were full of classes and studying. Nothing much to report there besides my decreasing attention span for such trivialities as studying.
Layton & Fox (& Kunzler)
Friday I got to hang out with the Athletic Trainers at Pleasant Grove High School. The athletes have it made there. Every other day, their last period class is "basketball" where they start practice early and watch film and stuff. And their training room is legit. Some of the kids took an ice bath after practice while watching She's the Man. The only bad thing is that they also have advanced torture equipment-and by that I mean long pieces of wood covered in carpet that they have to push up and down the court when they do something bad. Yikes.

The French (Belge) man himself!
Emarie and I studied French and ate In N Out. We lost our water polo game and are essentially guaranteed a spot in the Lower Division (we hope!). And Lauren and I crushed Ho'o and Mandy in a game of Hand and Foot, which I actually really enjoyed. Emarie, Abby, and I made it to the temple to do dealings for some of Abby's family Saturday morning and got to help out a bunch of French people as well. I passed around a volleyball with my roommates for a while. Then my roomm
ates had a date in my apartment (which I did NOT want to be a part of). And it was only awkward when I got really hungry and had to get food. And when I had to leave my apartment and every person started talking to me in the .2 seconds it took to get to the door. Sounds like they had fun though, so that's good. I went to a French party with Mallory Layton and anyone else you can think of. Emal made an appearance. Magleby even drove down from Salt Lake. Kevin Foote and I had an awkward conversation about how we both know Sam, on the men's basketball team. Caroline, Jordan, and Abby were all there. Gruber tried to hug me. Dean tried to fight me. Taua tried to box me out. I photobombed every single picture taken. All in all, good times. I love the France Lyon Mission. It's the best.

Robison, Magleby, Hutchins, Jones, Layton, Deweese, Gardner, Carter. 

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Leon Trotsky Thinks You're Hotsky

Fun fact about college: all events offer either t shirts or food in order to increase attendance. I like this.
I'm wearing real clothes. And
a scarf from my Gma. 
After church Sunday, Derek and I drove Ben's car back up to his house for Lindon and stayed for family dinner. It's been far too long since I've attended one of these, although I don't remember there being so many people. Roger brought his wife and his bff Lee, Tanner is back and Hunter is here now, and Derek and I are both back. Crazy. Joy made us delicious waffles with fruit and whipped cream and then we watched Frozen until we had to be back for ward prayer. Game Night was a riot- Derek brought people, my roommates brought people, and I brought people. (Things got weird when one of the people invited asked Derek's BF's GF on a date...) That and the general craziness of TI made for an eventful evening. Alexis Carre came -all the way from France- and Hailey Howden left me with some crepes.
Monday I ran a real mile for the first time. I got my goal of 8m30s, but it was...rough. I also found this bar in my closet that I tried to use for a pull-up bar. It worked for about three days until I forgot to be gentle and just kind of jumped on it because I was so excited to practice my pull-ups. Don't worry. Screwed that baby back into the wall. I caught the end of FHE, where we were writing Valentines/pickup lines. Noah won with If you were a superhero, you'd be Batman. Cuz he's the best. Think about it. Makes sense. My comment of the night, however, goes to Myles:
Win. 
    Are you a terrorist? Because you're the BOMB!
    Myles: Strapped to his chest....
Tuesday night we had our water polo game. Our strategy, since we want a t shirt, is to get bumped down into the lower division. So after we were winning by a ridiculous amount in the first 5 minutes, I started shooting with my left hand. And sometimes mission on purpose, or taking crazy precise shots. At half time, I switched to defense and John switched to goalie. The girls down there were playing dirty. I got kicked in my body. I mean, tubes are typical, but actually kicking the person? Yikes. They won by two because John didn't try to block any of their goals, we only half tried to block their shots, and we told the refs they got a goal when they really didn't. That loss was frustrating because they thought it was real and because they were cheating so badly. Mals, Sage, and I dropped by her institute for the post-class snacks. Then I remembered that it's 2 for 1 Crazy Bread at Little Caesar's Pizza. So we went in at 9pm and the guy told us that the deal ended at 8. So we bought one crazy bread and a pizza. As we were walking out, he yelled out, JK about the 8 o'clock thing! That swindler. It's Honor Week. You can't lie during Honor Week.
I used a combination of deals to get a $12 Subway meal absolutely free. I ate it with Wheeler Heck in the YServe office. Then I went to French Club's Mardi Gras event with the Rellaford brothers. Got myself some hot chocolate and a t shirt. I also got a free cookie and hot chocolate in the Wilk earlier in the day and ended my Ultrasound trial. I'm a rich man. Thursday I got a free waffle dinner (much deserved after that ridiculous finance exam I took). I also watched a guy do a triple bypass surgery and some vein harvesting. Gross. In his own words, This should make your butt pucker. I don't know what that means, but I agree. Then I went to Brick Oven with Shiboi for some free pizza (in exchange for listening to a Living Scriptures presentation during which a multitude of witty comments were made and all of them by me).
What does it mean-
to be someone's
Valentine?!
Friday, Lavinia received a stuffed animal and chocolates and agreed to be some kid's Valentine-but only for today- and then stole my mom's phone and texted me about it. She's 9. Victoria Beeny brought me free lunch. I hung out with the men's basketball team all afternoon and a goodly number know people in the France Lyon Mission. So we just talked about missions and
basketball, my two favorite topics. I also got to practice taping with their AT. Apparently I'm really pretty good. I watched Romantics Anonymous (a silly French movie) with Kjersti and Clara. Then Caleb Smith and Derek Sanchez drove me to a dance recital. I watched Emarie dance and then we went to a real dance. I love dancing. We didn't know anyone, so we danced with everyone until we found the funnest boys. Then we just danced with them. And helped them jump their car. Also, there was a chocolate fondue and strawberries. I slept at Emarie's and we watched a movie.
Thanks, dad. 
Early Saturday morning, Emarie and I went to the temple. Derek and I went to the mall to talk to the Living Scriptures guy a bit more and stopped in H&M. I'm a much better shopper than I used to be. And I like shopping with Derek. We were in there for 15 minutes and found the best deals. I spent $11 on two shirts that I really like. I played frisbee with the ward. At one point, a random guy who had joined us took his shirt off. Weird. When my team was deciding to play a man defense, the guy next to me leans over and says, I guess I'll take the shirtless guy. I mean, I don't have to touch him, do I? Let's hope not. I'd been avoiding it all game. Then Lauren and I went to the store and it was jam packed, so we were freaking out with our windows rolled down until an old man yelled Do you need a spot? And then waited for us to pull up to his car so we could park in his spot. We made cupcakes and took a nap. Then we got some Mexican food to celebrate Arizona's birthday. Then the real fun began. Who's seen the Call Your Girlfriend music video? Well, we made our own.
Happy Valentine's Day. 

Watch these two videos simultaneously. Start the bottom one first. Mute the top one. Enjoy.