Communism Was Just A Red Herring

I ran to the library to pick up the sequels to a few books. Then I spent much of my time studying for my AT test in January, reading those books, rearranging my music, and playing Uno. Also lots of other games because such is the nature of our family. I did get to know Shennsley better, which has been a pleasure. She fits in well here. 

Good to be home with this crazy kid. 

Tuesday we visited the Grampster himself, sneaking some ice cream in, as per his request. Which he didn't remember. Apparently laughter really is the best medicine because soon after we got there, they were kicking him out for his stellar vitals. He wrecked Greg all day, made a loose commitment to give Derek everything he owns, and pretended to die several times. Love that guy. There are a few things that need to happen before he dies - it's a work in progress man, hold on.

Krempy himself.

I helped marginally with a monster project in the attic during which the Chin crawled around like a troll, Greg got hit in the head with a drill, and Derek worked his near-atrophied muscles. We met up with several other people to clean the church, but it seemed like we weren't wanted - especially since a lady came around replacing trash bags that we had literally just replaced.

Another game of Uno? Please??

Among the games we played (Uno being the most frequent), we pulled out a huge game of HeroScape. In an effort not to 'pull a Kevin', I went on the offense and rapidly got myself killed. Dad also busted out a sweet 8-player (minimum) submarine game. (Appropriate since we live in Groton, submarine capital of the world). Derek, Shan, Xander, and I were on a team and got walloped mainly by dad, their radio tech. But we crushed them in the last round, and so earned back some dignity. It was pretty fun.

What a gem. 

We crashed two of Trevor's basketball games, posters and all. We made up a small part of the crowd, but a large part of the noise. J Money was there, always a pleasure to run into him. Ledyard killed it the first game, and sucked it up the second. But it's aiight. We made sure THE HUTCH knew he was appreciated.

Sibling Bonding: Pulling each other's hai

Saturday I went on a run again before filming the majority of the trailer for our family's new hit TV show, "Son of a Witch". I'll keep you posted on that. It's basically a show about our normal lives, living with our mom, the witch. So, naturally, it's hilarious.

Coming soon to theaters near you...

It was Christmas Eve, so we made Derek and Shannon watch 'Doggy Poo', so they understood all our references to that terrible, terrible movie. And we each opened up a present. Moriah was especially cheerful. Trevor, the dog of the family, was not overly satisfied with his new chew toy.

T Sizzle with his dog toy. 

Christmas. It was a good year for Christmas spoils. Moriah has a new alarm clock and several coloring books. Trevor has a soccer net and some dog toys. Xander gave everyone a jar of fluff and got himself some snow pants that will fit him 12" and 200 lbs in the future. Greg got some shirts. Derek and Shannon are going to see "Cats" on Broadway. Isabelle got a free makeup lesson with Shennsley herself. Lavinia got some ugly petshops. Hannah got a large calendar and a fluffy blanket. Mom got some crazy heels from the Dadso. The Chin got a mug with funny pictures of himself and a bottle of Sunny D (his least favorite) disguised as normal OJ.

Rolls were thrown, fun was had.

And we all got to sit down together and watch Clue and skype Kevin. I mean Elder Hutchins. If you're wondering, he loves Jesus and the Hmong folk, and his mission. Send him an email at kevin.s.hutchins@myldsmail.net and give him some Christmas cheer.

What a cute little bugger. I mean...Elder.

And here's a nostalgic poem I wrote:

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through Hutchville

Every grubnug was stirring, not a mugworm was still.

Stockings flung 'neath the tree just like ten ugly socks

Burts bees chapstick for all, and a cereal box.

The older kids snuggled, all freezing downstairs

Interrupting Goosebumps with stories to share

While the middle kids schemed and plotted above

Unaware of the traps constructed with love. 

At half-past midnight, there arose quite the clatter

Most just laughed to themselves they hear the traps scatter

Away down the stairs, the kids creeped until - BASH!

They ran and got stuck on the hall's clear tape sash.

Distracted by windows of eight-feet tall snow,

Xander hit a trip wire, and Trevor screamed, NO!

When, what to their ogling eyes should fall down,

But every ball in the house, hitting them, then the ground.

There were more traps to be tried, but 'fore the eyes of the looters

The Chin spun in his chair, rolling from the computers. 

More rapid than eagles, his commands, they came

Then he muttered, "Sassafrass" and he called them by name!

"Now Hannah! Now, Xander! Now, Isabelle, Kev!

Back to bed, Moriah! Back to sleep you get, Trev!

To the top of the stairs! To the highest of floors!

Now dash away! Dash away! And not a single breath more!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, 

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top, the children, they begin

Climbing up to their rooms, and away from the Chin.

All then remained calm until six, when - Kaput.

Once again began the prancing of each little foot. 

This time from below, with nary a sound,

As up the stairs, the older kids raced in a bound.

All wrapped up in blankets, from their feet to their heads,

Muffling the noise as they came from their beds.

The four creaked open, leaving the cup tower in tact

They analyzed the route, before heading back.

Their eyes, how they twinkled as they signaled their plan,

Making sure that none of them could misunderstand.

Back down the stairs, still blankets in tow,

As to the garage they started to go. 

The three flew through the storage, as quick as a dove

Thinking only of sights that awaited above.

Up the secret back stairs, they started to scope

To see if this route would confirm all their hopes. 

Ensuring the house had its trickeries capped, 

The dad had left this entrance completely untrapped.

And so they had bypassed their noise-making doom

In preference of a more simple entry to the room.

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their chairs

Enjoying each other and the ambiance there.

They just sat there in silence, near the dimly-lit tree

Soaking in all the Christmas that filled them with glee.

Then down sprang the rest of the whole motley crew

Causing a scene with a shout and a hullaballoo.

Taking time to remember Christ before gifts would appear

The ultimate gift, to keep with us all year. 

The selfless sacrifice performed by the Son

That allows us to be clean, each and every one

His example that shines as a beacon so clear,

His love and comfort that dissipates fear.

May we emulate Him in service-filled days,

May we obey the Lord, and be more free with praise,

May we follow his Spirit, and be this world's lights.

Merry Christmas to all, and a wonderful night. 

Snow Zombies Galore

It was my last week at the Provo Singles Ward and so it was time for my get-to-know-you interview / tithing settlement with the Bishop. Apparently he thinks I need more responsibility. Please no, please no, my life is full of it.

And...pose!

While the majority of the week was spent in the daily monotony of clinicals, exams, and studying, here are a few things of note: I did remarkably well on my physics test. Afterwards, I spent several hours helping ACon study for hers. I finished an 8 page French paper on the importance of breaking out of black-and-white thinking patterns to recognize compromises and gray areas. I finished all my school work by Wednesday at 9am. Freedom.

Westes was telling me about how his family would gather each morning at 7 for breakfast, like a real-life, perfect-family movie scene. I really love the idea of that. Because we had extra time and extra perishable food, we decided to try it out here. We got Hannah and the little brown girl to come eat eggs and smoothies and french toast and pancakes with us in the mornings. It was a nice way to start the day.

...If you're looking for a good game of Uno, look no farther.

I went to a spin class at VASA that was pretty fun. The instructor works in the media department for BYU Sports. She's also super pregnant. And a way good instructor - really puts a lot of effort into her program and it shows.

With all my free time, I also hung out with my old friend, Ryan, and all his current roommates. For a long time. Now that I don't live at the Elms, it feels like I don't have the right to just walk into peoples' apartments like I used to. Jokes on me, though. I can. It was nice to catch up after a crazy semester.

Yeah... Rip his arms off!

I finally flew home with Greg, having been dropped off at the airport by his lovely roommate, Andrew. Greg did NOT wake me up for the snacks, so I was real hungry. I also, apparently, have a doppelgänger. And her aunt was on the flight to PVD with us, so we had fun talking to her for a while. And NOT saving seats for our friends Dax and Alex on the same flights...

Lavinia gave me a card with an acrostic poem of my name, including "okward" and "uncooperative". Then Greg and I went to the Ledyard Holiday Concert, which, unfortunately, has only gone downhill. I confess myself disappointed.

Wow. If only you could see the army of pygmy snowmen marching towards us.

After several hours of children chatting, I went to bed so I could have energy to build so many snowmen on Saturday. Calvin and Hobbes style. Moriah, Greg, Xander, Isabelle, Lavinia, and I teamed up to build a slew of carrot-nosed men, only to have them destroyed by the rain within a day.

After a quick errand with Moriah, I took the childies to see Rogue 1. Classic ending. Greg boogyswaggled us with the Sprite and popcorn, but it was a good time with Trev, Greg, Chris, and Xander. Also, I busted in right past the ticket-taker. He was powerless to stop me.

Shock and awe. That was SHOCKingly AWful.

And guess who got here that night? Derek and Shennsley. But only after several near-accidents of both their lives and bowels.

Sunday, the girls came with me to the Kramers' house in Cromwell. We ate crepes and enjoyed the company of another large family who plays basketball together every Christmas.

I wish this was clearer. Straight outta the comics. 

Wassup Wassup Wassupppppp

The Chin was still here on Sunday, so he decided to come to church with Hannah and I - partially because we're the most fun, partially because he wanted to tell us all the boys we should date. If you read his recent letter, he mentioned that our combined RS/PH class was segregated. However, because he was actually TWENTY minutes late (not five), he was unaware that we had opening exercises separately and then the boys joined our class, taking any seats left.

Hays and I. Coupla cool cats. 

We had dinner with the Lindon fam - Joy cooked up some delicious tacos with plenty of guac and we all enjoyed watching the Christmas devotional with my best friend, Lauren (who almost decided to hang out with her Grandpa over me) and T Sizzle over skype.

This kid needs friends. And someone to buy his car.

Also this was the day that Derek convinced me to play Injustice. I love it. It's nice to have a good no-skills-required virtual superhero fight between studying. Really, though. It's kept me sane.

Monday morning I woke up at 2am because I'm pretty sure I got food poisoning somehow. For the next three days, I had a total of 2 granola bars, an apple sauce cup, and a candy cane. And lots of water. But I still exercised. And the underdog team I was rooting for won the tournament in my basketball class. Also I got a gatorade for 100% attendance. Holla back.

Add us on House Party. We never lock our door.
But really, we need to fix that.

I did a lot of studying and final projects. I planned it out really well, so I really wasn't worried about it. My favorite roommate John helped me with physics and a kid from my mission, Kevin did our review. Also found out that he loves my favorite band and made some sweet t shirts one time. More on this to come.

Thursday night, Hannah made King Casserole with Westes and I. And the Blue House had a closing RS social. And I had to go to the very end of the French concert to drop off a borrowed book, so I got some free crepe.

Guess who's birthday was December 8? Our fave.

Friday was our only reading day, but I still had to go to the training room. I spent the day making study guides and writing my French paper and getting donuts at Krispy Kreme. Also playing Injustice, obv. I also found out that I had a final quiz for Ortho to crank out, so I did that.

Fun times this weekend.

Also, I was working with this kid in the training room who has somehow gotten to this point without knowing how to contract his abs voluntarily. Which is the kind of thing I wanted to avoid by working with athletes. Ugh. Luckily, I have several other delightful clients that are the biggest whiners, but they're dang funny, and creative and motivated for their rehab.

Please tell me more about my future lover.

Saturday I did my French oral and written tests. I also finished about half of my French paper. I hung out with Greg and his roommates who I know from prior wards. Then we went to a free Improv Broadway show - which you should check out if you're ever in Provo. They're dang funny, family friendly, and full of plenty of unexpected twists. Greg's favorite part was when he volunteered me, as a single girl, to get serenaded. I like their impersonation of too-touchy relatives. Also then I got recruited for a post-apocalyptic anti-zombie squad.

Grig Grog Groog Grug Strike Back

The Grad Assistants said, "Let there be drama." And there was drama. And I saw that it was annoying. The football team only had treatment this week, so the AT students got to share hours and work less and it was "la galere," a big mess. I'm the treatment king so I just worked all the hours. The GA's were appreciative since they could barely get their students to come in and again wished that I could go to the bowl game with them. Alas.

A few weeks back, my basketball class had an NBA-style draft. Somehow my team drew the short end of the stick, and I mean that literally because our team is very short. And also we lost every single game of the season. Flashforward to this week, when we started tournament. Ranked fourth, we were destined to play the best team and somehow we killed them by 30. It helped that Austin hit about 95% of the 3's he shot and I had some good looks on the post.

My friend was feeling a bit off-color this week so I drawed him a thing.

The Little Brown Girl Downstairs, aka Ashlyn, needed a subject for her taping lab final at UVU and asked me to help. We walked in to the training room at 9:30 at night, after her teacher/UVU's AT Paul had finished with practice. I happened to have a BYU sweatshirt on because it was cold and that's literally all the clothes I own at this point in my life and Paul flipped a shiz. He had me go change and then wait in the hall for 30 min and then graded Ashlyn really meticulously on her tape jobs. He was a jerk and I felt bad because it was partially my fault, but also she still has an A in the class, so mainly it's just a funny story now.

For my Admin class, I had to do a fake grad school interview, which went well, I think. I'm interested to hear back from ACon what an actual interview is like (because she has to have 8am-3pm blocked out in her day). But my favorite question was - if you could be a piece of furniture, what would you be? Couch, duh.

Anyone remember this gem? Ohhh, The District.

Every year, the French department holds a meeting about the origins of Christmas traditions in France. Here's some things I learned: during the revolution the celebration of Christmas was forbidden. After it was once again permitted, the government offered a certificate of citizenship to Jesus. A Pastorale is a nativity play from the view of the shepherds. The word 'marionette' came from nativity puppet shows (it means 'little Mary'). Families would pour win (our sins) on the yule log (Jesus) and let it burn for three days, purifying us. It was then extinguished with holy water from the church and ashes were sprinkled around the property. The tree represents the tree of knowledge of good and evil, because families would tell the story of the creation until the coming of Jesus over a series of nights, using various props. A MoTab singer came to sing 'Minuit Chretiens' (like O Holy Night, but better because it's originally French the lyrics are killer) and it always makes me cry.

In all his glory: M. Le Chin.

Between everything else, I studied all week for my physics test. Which I felt really good about, even while I was taking it. And then I saw my score. Yikes. Haha. I hate physics.

The Chin came in Friday afternoon. We picked up Greggy and some Cafe Rio and headed to the Divine Comedy 'Best of' Show. Favorite skits - an Yzma/Kronk dating scenario and the parody of the Prince of Egypt about Broses and the art students (especially the "you're playing with the big boys" song). Dad loved it and all the glow sticks they threw out. This man was diving over people and into the aisles to catch stuff.

Let's play count the glow sticks.

We brought Derek with us to the bookstore, Monsieur Le Chin's favorite place. We also saw a bunch of Disney princesses running around and HAD to get our pics taken. Why is Dad's favorite princess Sleeping Beauty? Because she talks the least.

He'd only take the pic if we were in it though.
SOMEONE'S camera shy.

Hannah joined us for some Spikeball, aka Scrubball, aka Schrumball. Greg and I were the champions for a long time. It was fun, but I think Greg/Trevor are going to kill Dad/Derek over Christmas. Not sure why that challenge was issued; it wasn't really The Chin's best move, having no idea what Spikeball even is.

Here's another with Megara and Tinkle.

We booked to Tucanos for our birthday special for Greg. It was delicious and filling and we tried all the kinds of lemonade with our delightful server, Cody, who served in the Boston mission.

Then we glubbed over to the bowling alley where Grog, Grug, Gryg, and Greg challenged the Chin. He blew us out first game. My goal was to beat Grog, aka Shiboi, aka Derek. Did it. The key is to put limited effort in, until an increase in effort is necessary. Keeps things interesting.

A gaggle of Griggity Glops.

Greg left to attend his Christmas party and we skipped ours to go to the volleyball game vs. UNLV. Derek, who hates volleyball, was NOT mad we went and kind of enjoyed himself. I started playing Injustice during the breaks - my favorite type of game because it requires little to no skill or strategy. All in all, not a bad week.

Gryg, the family dog.

Break Me Off a Piece #Bless

Honestly, this break wasn't much of a break for me, since I spent more time than usual in the training room. No class, but still homework. I did an annotated bibliography, a take-home test, and read an entire book in French to name just a few assignments. Also, enjoy some savage Thanksgiving Clapbacks.

Hannah and I went to her HT's house to watch a BYU game at their tournament in Vegas. He even fed us ice cream and I got my GRE prep book back. And we won. Unlike our game vs. UVU yesterday, but that's another story.

Our ward started switching off basketball and volleyball on Mondays. Joel convinced us to go and it was way fun. We claimed Westes on our team from the get-go, then picked three other moderately athletic tall people. We killed it. Which you could tell by our post-point screaming rituals.

The training room was pretty boring since most of the really injured guys just went home for the week. But I did get to help out Chandon's mom.

The equipment managers challenged us to a Turkey Bowl. All the players were telling us that they didn't think we'd win because those guys are out playing all the time, and are often late getting the players their stuff because of it. They had experience, but we definitely had them on good attitudes and general athleticism. So we won 18-6. And they are really sore losers.

Greg came over later and helped me with a project that shall be released December 1. Hahaha.

After I got out of the training room on Thursday, Greg, Hannah, and I headed up to Jason's family's house for some Thanksgiving festivities. I was so tired and kept falling asleep, which would have been nice if people hadn't kept waking me up. 6andUP performed our rendition of The Oxcart, where it gets progressively lower. We were assigned seats far from each other so we wouldn't get into trouble. We also had 2 assigned topics of gratitude - mine were a story (the potato farmer) and a place (the bathroom). Food was delicious. I ate an entire pie by myself. And we got back before Hannah had to work, so we spent a little time calling the CT fam.

Hannah also wants me to watch Avatar with her, so I started. It's pretty good. But I've got a long way to go.

I went running and ran all the way to the store to get the supplies for peppermint bark. Which I then made all by myself. See Mimi? I am domestic. I then ate it myself instead of giving to boys. I feel pretty good about my decisions.

Saturday I spent the whole day at the stadium unloading the truck and setting up for the last home game of the season. We were terrified it would snow and make us even colder, but it held off until just after the game. Bless. I brought my candy canes for the hot chocolate Brett got us. He also bought cider and some chicken broth for the players that was actually pretty good.

Zac Dawe. Worst photographer ever. 

I was assigned to the D Bench this time (as opposed to every other time, when I've been on the O bench). It was senior night and a black out and so the uniforms were boss. And also we beat USU. And got home by 2am. And had a great amount of fun and food. Thanksgiving blessings.

The Cream Crew, as Hannah might say.

Outta Yo Hair Quicker Than Yo Favorite Shampoo

Sunday was Friendsgiving at the Yellow Brick Brothel. It was delicious and so filling that people had trouble eating the desserts that Hannah and I brought. Which meant more for us throughout the week. 

Wow. Quel class. Much posh.

Westes came over to hang out and make some brownies with me. I like him - he’s super chill. And he’s somehow already discovered the Derek-Naomi friend dynamic. By that I mean he comes into my room and won’t leave until we’ve had a nice chat. That’s how most of my real friends are made.

BYU basketball played Princeton this week and it was a nice game. They thought they were prepared for the backdoor, but they definitely go burned at least 2.5 times. We still won though and some good basketball was played.

Sliding into the comfy chairs with ma gal Britt.

Derek gave me his tickets to the premiere of Fantastic Beasts. Which meant I got to talk to him for like an hour when he dropped his tix off. Which is good because the Derek-Naomi friend dynamic has temporarily reversed roles. 

I took ACon with me to the movie, and after a slight mishap involving confused locations, everything went swimmingly. There was unlimited popcorn and beverages that we profited from. Not to mention the movie was great - potentially even better than the actual Harry Potters, due to the lack of expectations for this one. 10/10 would watch again.

In addition to having already downed several drinks
and boxes of popcorn, this was our take-home.

About to smash this line of coke.

Thursday was another game against Coppens for BYU basketball. I met up with my friend Chris there and we watched from someone else’s seats, as usual, so we could avoid the student section. I have mixed feelings about Mika despite how good he is, but I’m looking forward to some good ball by Elijah Bryant, who is intriguing both as a human and a player. 

Friday I took an Ortho test and didn’t do too badly. Just in time to go to a French activity. I have to get 3 in this semester, with my limited time. I skipped a poetry night and a movie with the football team to be there, but it was fun. I snuck Joshie in for free to the BYU vs. Montana hockey game and we ran into Tyler and his wife! (Tyler is his brother, and an old friend of mine.) I was voting for Montana, but they got crushed. Why did this count as a French cultural activity? Canada. 

This is my teacher, Dr. Flood. 

HOCKEY! is a sport.

BYU football played UMass at noon Saturday. I was prepared for the frozen adventure of my life time and was utterly disappointed. With all my layers, everything but my hands were warm. And all the players made fun of the snowboarding gloves I was wearing, but they also didn’t have to hold bottles of ice the whole game. It was a fun sideline experience - lots of sass, way more smack talk than usual, and such an efficiently run machine that we had some down time (that we didn’t get yelled at for taking). 

Early morning set-up crew.
Our coats are puffier than your favorite cheetos. 

I was so tired at the end of it that I didn’t end up attending BYU basketball vs. Coastal Carolina, which we also won by a bunch. Instead, I watched at home with the roommates and vegged out on a couch. We were all in the same mood: ready for Sunday and a week off from school.

Oh yeah. And the trainers and equipment guys all did the mannequin challenge. Eh, bah, voila: 

Hannah Keeps Eating My Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Also, the Election.

My ward basketball on Monday was changed to volleyball this week, which I didn't play. My knee's still bugging me, but I talked to my boss this week and he gave me some good non-operative rehab advice and some extra vitamin pills to enhance healing. Maybe it's meniscal, maybe it's articular cartilage, maybe it's osteochondritis dessicans... Either way, Brett told me I need to get hitched before my body literally crumbles into dust.

Also it was Weeny K's birthday. HBD, lady.

Don't be fooled.
She is actually a witch.

Tuesday I was the unwilling participant of an election-watching party. I just really wanted to go to bed. But then LyssB100 brought home several Pizza Pie Cafe pizzas. Anyhow, here are some funny (not meant to offend) memes about the election without any political commentary. Hope you voted.

Wednesday, my class was cancelled so I worked on HW. And exercised at night, which was refreshing. We're reading Voltaire's Candide in the original French and it's very reminiscent of Catch-22. Also, hilarious. My favorite part so far is when a this lady is kidnapped and sold as a concubine, then cannibals want to eat her, but a very nice religious leader convinced them to only eat one buttcheek and if they were still hungry to go for the other one. The whole book is a terribly vivid satire on war and religion and the treatment of women, but it's presented in such a ridiculous way that it doesn't sting as badly.

Greg helped me get a new iPhone and recommit to a 2-year plan. So yay now all my iPhone friends can have named groups and see their messages in blue. I hung out with Hannah and her date for a bit. Also went to In-N-Out with the brothel.

Friday - Veteran's Day. I was in the training room from 7-2. My hours are very unclear sometimes, so I forget that I should probably leave at some point. All the other kids started doing 2-hour shifts on Fridays. I just work when I feel like it, and I do really enjoy it, so it's hard to leave.

Then Mallory and I had a movie night. We ate popcorn and fudge and talked about weird things that have happened later. Like an offered bite to the buttocks, which was hastily turned down. People are weird.

Saturday I spent all day at the SUU game. We had Waffle Love for breakfast and wings for dinner. I was assigned as a courtesy trainer to help out the SUU team, so I was on the wrong sideline the whole time. It also started off really awkward due to some miscommunications that had nothing to do with me. But their head trainer, Rick, is a delightful fellow. Also, the team was a huge fan of our Powerade mixing skills. We were told several times.

My feet hurt really bad after, but I still made myself go to Alexis Carre's surprise birthday party later. I saw a bunch of old mission friends - Mallory, Bryson, Alexis, Stephen, Derek Sanchez. I met some new guys - Andre (the DDR champ), Jesse (the reasonable roommate), and a small Belgian man. It was pretty fun and we ate/stole lots of pizza. You're welcome, Bryson.

Mallory: The sturdiest koala tree.
Bryson: The clingiest koala.