HutchCreations: An EliteTake on Post-Modernist Nugmuffinery

SWOLENATION is lagging behind a bit. Workouts are still going strong, but that weekend of no dieting kind of messed me up. Also, there was brownies and cookies and donuts and pizza at my work all week.

"It's a lifestyle, not a diet of deprivation." -me

PC: Kellogius.

Chris, my spin instructor, came and did a tabata workout with SWOLENATION. It crushed. Tabata workouts consists of 4min songs broken into 20s max workout and 10s active recovery for a total of 8 rounds. You never catch your breath (so you end up burning 5x the normal amount of calories 5h later due to EPOC) and your muscles get destroyed. I'm still sore.

PC: Grug.

PC: HanNip-Nip Cheerio.

I was dog sitting again. The dogs were much better behaved this round. (All five of them.) The cat was still annoying.

PC: Yours truly.

PC: The Chin.

CCV games were cancelled because it's Easter weekend. Which made my night. I taught Peter (my easily-winded friend somewhere between the ages of 10 and 62) the meaning of tabata and he subsequently turned my brain into mush with some Javascript. The good news is that it's making a lot more sense now. But I'm still on the edge of a waterfall.

PC: T Sizzle.

PC: Xandino.

I introduced ma boi Chance to Clue, the movie. Now he'll understand the other 50% of my speech, which is made entirely of quotes from that movie. But look what happened to the cook!

PC: Elder Hutchins.

PC: HD Booty.

Good news. General Conference is finally upon us. Which means I'm spending 10h this week listening to old men and women talk about Jesus. Is there a better way? The church is freaking true. The biggest messages I've gotten out of it so far have involved the way I treat others. Which will soon be improving, we hope.

PC: IsaTurtle.

PC: Shennsley.

The other good news is that our family painting competition deadline has passed. And I finished just in time. Literally. Reqs: must include sunflower, be outside.

PC: Combo H/N. 

I Like My Red Rocks...Convenient

There was another fireside on Sunday. Is anyone surprised? Next thing you know, they'll be scheduling firesides in between sessions of general conference!

I didn't go. But I did go to cookie night afterwards to chat with Mama Bale and play some Jackbox games.

OK BUT THE RED ROCKS THO.

I've been crushing at the gym with my workout classes and post-work SWOLENATION activities. My hamstrings and triceps, specifically were crushed. Also, during one workout we used the TRX straps to do prone extension rows and my hip bones are bruised, but I really liked that exercise - just gotta do it with a mat.

SWOLENATION hike. 

Thunderbird Park, part II hike was good. I like the flags at the tops of the mountains. Also that the hikes are super chill. I feel like the steeper it is, the more I need to rush up. But these are really good at progressing elevation.

Hide yo kids, hide you wife, he's snatchin dem people up. From the ceiling.

The Mesa temple hosts an Easter Pageant every year detailing the life of Jesus Christ. Loved it. The lendemain, one of my coworkers asked if Mormons celebrate Easter. Well, let me tell you....

I got to go to the actual temple on Thursday night. It was a close call, but I made it. And even ran into my friend from Institute (aka the lady in charge of the food.) Good times in righteous places.

Friday after work, Chance and I drove up to the campout in Sedona (home of the red rocks) and met up with our ward. Kaleb, Kezia, Jensen and we did some spelunking in tiny, buggy, poopy caves. And went on a short hike, reminiscent of Glacier Park.

Bishop's creepster photos.

We roasted marshmallows and Starbursts and told stories and even played games. The fire was so nice and warm. And Peter, my workout buddy of an undetermined age, gave me a heated blanket for when I live in Flag - and it def came in handy. After a short night hike, I finally turned in.

Ok, but look at this campsite. 

Not for long. It was freezing and I was wired from hiking. And then Brendan started yelling my name every 15-30m to see if it was time for breakfast yet. Finally, at 530, I yelled YOU HAVE TWO HOURS GO BACK TO BED! And he grumbled and said he wasn't tired and he was getting up anyways. Then I had 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Then, breakfast. And take down. And hiking - which was a bit of a mess, but it turned out ok. And I had Hannah and Jensen to point out really convenient rock formations. Bless.

New hobby: rock stacking yoga.

Katie, Chance, and I booked it out since we all needed to be home at a reasonable hour. But FIRST, we stopped at Outlaw Burger, which, true to its reviews by Bart Winters, was delicious. 10/10 would eat there again. (Which really isn't hard to achieve as a burger joint.)

Look at the food though.

Then Chance and I booked it out east to the Renaissance Fair. We saw pirates and booty and pirates' booty and a joust where our man Mordrid (very clearly a bad guy) took some kids OUT. And I got free money from the bank, so we bought honey and smoothies and turkey legs and chocolate covered strawberries. 

Then we tried to watch Dr. Strange because APPARENTLY he's part of the Marvel universe and the new Avengers is coming out fin d'Avril. But alas I fell asleep. Wonder why (cough cough Brendan). 

I'm on a Diet.

I love Stake Conference, but I also love taking the Sacrament, so these weeks are always a toss-up. Highlight goes to Will Cuthbertson's story about getting pepper sprayed for the police academy: "Then I thought, if I quit now, my face will still be on fire."

The Phoenix North YSA ward commandeered Adam Cates' mission farewell party, courtesy of yours truly, and we had a good time watching international wipeout and playing some games.

The scriptural puns, though. 

SWOLENATION starts this week. We did our weigh-ins and measurements on Sunday to kick it off.  Let me tell you what's changing:

• Food. I'm eating healthy. It's actually not bad, since I planned to eat foods that I actually like. And I get natural PB with dark chocolate as one of my snacks - ultimate highlight. It's sooo good. But I'm limiting bread, dairy, salt, and sugar. And replacing them with vegetables, fruit, and protein. And only eating the food that I planned to eat, with MAYBE a small amount of donated goods.
• Workouts. I'm going to the gym at least once a day and taking classes. Mandy's MUSCLE class wrecked me - every exercise you do 8 on a 2-count, 8 up fast/slow down, 8 up slow/down fast, 8 normal, 8 at the top, 8 at the bottom. WRECKED.
• Water. Trying to drink half by body weight in oz of water excluding what I drink working out. It makes me less hungry too.
• Lifestyle. I park my car farther away. I try to stay standing the whole time I'm at work, preferably moving around. Instead of movie nights, we do hikes and chill activities where we're moving. I try to sleep at the same time every night and stop eating 3 hours beforehand.

It doesn't feel like a ton is different. I was fairly active before anyways. But I like it because this is a lifestyle I can maintain - which is the goal.

Freaking bomb (salad).

SWOLENATION got together to make some healthy snacks: chocolate protein balls, chocolate beet muffins, and sugarless lemon cheesecakes. Chris and Jon came to help out and talk about their supplement company. I dropped the beet(s).

Basketball with the old ladies was clutch this week - intense, but also a good workout. I was tired going into it, but I'm glad I went. 

Chance from France and I went on a pretty nice hike over by Thunderbird park. And we only saw one creepster. 

Friday was CCV football and planks and nap and movie night. Nobody died, I'm better than I thought, and Geoff Chaucer is the man.

Callie and Rylie are back for bridals and a bridal shower. It's good to see them. What a stellar family. Gah, I like them.

SWOLENATION citizens.

Deer Valley had 5 reps show up to basketball (which meant no subs), but it was ok because we won. It was a good game though. And only Derek and 2 other kids were trying to kill people. But I didn't die, so win-win.

The Air Show was mostly over by the time we got there, but we did some good walking and saw a low-flyover and some cool loopty-loops from the palm tree promenade. The Blue Angels were there. I was wearing Aviators. They thought I was a pilot. Next thing you know, I'm up in the air taking orders from a the squad leader Mick via my headset.

We had stir fry for dinner with LOTS of vegetables that only looked like very few vegetables because they were cooked. I like that about stir fry. Tricks you.

And thus ends SWOLENATION, week one. 'Twas a good week.

Getting Hyped

Hannah Merrell is a blessing. I'm glad she sees visiting teaching the way I do - because we just had a bomb pizza party with our girls. And Autumn made chocolate oreo cake balls that were delicious and lasted me the entire week. Needless to say, it was a good week.

Autumn and I were also able to figure out that one of our VT's numbers was wrong (because she finally showed up to church and we cornered her). So we got that handled.

Family goals, complete with neighborhood pedophile.

Rod was absent from Institute AGAIN. That man needs to tell me when he's gone because then I don't need to show up. Worst.

We brought the ward to ward basketball. It was a bunch of semi-athletic spazzes breaking their OWN ankles. My game was a little cleaner than the previous.

This was the literal best thing that happened. 

Chance is learning to play the piano. Maybe he'll practice more than me and become a prodigy. Maybe not.

We played basketball with our old lady friends and the teams were actually fairly even. Which was nice.

SWOLENATION began with our kickoff on Thursday. Which was AWESOME. Chris, my personal trainer from Mountainside, just killed it. What a good way to start our fitness challenge. (And we ended the night with some Taco Bell, so win-win-win-win.)

The real SWOLENATION crew. 

Friday was a long day. I decided I need to start actually waking up when we read family scriptures because I get garbage sleep afterwards anyways. Then I worked. Then I worked out with my dapper middle to youngish aged friend named Peter. And he blew my brain with some new JavaScript stuff. Then I went to CCV where I'm starting again as an ATC for their youth football league which is the biggest stresser of my life. Then I watched a few episode of Gotham with Chance from France, which was a bit too unnecessarily dramatic for my taste.

Chris graciously prepared a whole spiel on her Advocare company that I want to get involved with. And I bought some vegetables for my new diet starting Monday. And I went to Stake Conference.

Look I made a salad from John's garden. 

People Say I Look Like Shalyssa

After much drama and debate, dinner groups finally happened on Sunday. Part of the drama was my own fault (I accidentally sent out a group of numbers with one missing digit, and I forgot about the bag of dough for rolls in my backpack overnight). BUT I'd call them a success.

I was over at bishop's house with Alyssa, Tyler, Chance, Sophie, and Alexis - but Grace, Tyler, and Mandy randomly showed up later. We had a great dinner, an intense game of Apples to Apples, and a whole lot of fun.

I found housing in NAU, so that's good. Please stop me ASAP if you know anyone who will house me for free.

Institute was good. I didn't get much out of the lesson, but I think Kaleb and I are officially friends now. So I'm excited about that.

Pirate ship of death, circa last week. Collab w/Hannah Merrell.

I skipped basketball to learn how to play tennis. I didn't improve much, but I did find a weakness (my backhand) and a strength (hitting the ball off the metal part of the racket).

Did I mention our ward is doing a workout challenge?? It's boutta be LIT. I'm seriously psyched about this.

Adam went through the temple on Friday, so Matt, bishop, and I came out to support him. He looked a little shell-shocked, but I'm teaching the temple prep lesson today, so hopefully we can talk it out.

Peter invited me over to his place for a Drinks & Apps night. As soon as we walked in, the whole crew yelled "JUICEEEEE" because they knew we weren't there to drink. It was a good time.

So hyped.

The chins are in the midst of a furious painting challenge. The req's are that the painting must be:
1. Outdoors
2. Contain a sunflower
3. Be less than or equal to 1' by 1'
Hannah and I did some collab work that is now finished, so now I just gotta figure out what to do for my own entry...

The fam made waffles with some delicious frozen berry sauce. Week highlight, right there.

Later, Avery, Chris, Chance, and I went laser tagging and freaking crushed. We played against kids and drunk guys - and I actually did so good! I got second and first place. Miracles happen. We played cards and I guess we're all real friends bc we have plans to hang out again.