Cen Got Lost In The Corn Maze, But We Tractor Down

The housesitting gig is up. Scariest part: giving Doan a bath. Apparently he can only poop in the shower, but also he's a very spiky lizard that does not like being picked up. Best part: living off only pumpkin bread for a week. Most surprising part: actually liking one of the chihuahuas, Chevy. 

Sometimes he makes human sounds and it's the literal cutest. 

Rod's Institute lesson reminded me of my relationship with my friend Wheeler. Wheeler is the most wonderful, loving man you will ever meet and I love him dearly. Also he's married now and I'm so glad he found someone who can make him as happy as Dee. 

Most of the week was chill and I got to just read my books alone. My Halloween costume is near completion (just in time), and now I just gotta find a hopping dance party to attend. 

Fridays are stressful because I work all day and night, with my second job. But afterwards, I hit up the end of the Institute Opening Social (where Rod told me to stop calling him Rod). And then to Logan's for a chat. 

Saturday was our ward temple day, so I did initiatories. Then I met up with Cenita and Joe at a pumpkin patch. What do you do at a pumpkin patch? you may ask. Let me tell you. 

Squad.

You get pecked in the butt by angry turkeys and ride gigantic rocking horses. You pet majestic goats that climb on manmade mountains.You buy overpriced lemonade because the tapwater isn't safe.

The smaller ones are less fun.

Bo Jale, check that off my exotic creature Bingo sheet.

You pedal around on tractor-shaped go karts that are too small for your limbs. You notice how there are chickens in every single pen, and in fact, the owner is a robot operated by several chickens. They're everywhere. You cut the line to jump on the bouncy house six times.

Quality decorations lined the place. What class.

You sit on an ancient tractor. You pay more money to shoot tomato blasters and ride in a tiny cow-painted train that you don't fit in. You walk through the saddest pumpkin patch, where all the pumpkins are overpriced, pre-severed, and imported.

And the bales of hay are held up by these weird tunnels.

And you complete the hour-long corn maze expedition by taking a picture of the maze and taking "shortcuts". That, friends, is what you do at a pumpkin patch.

"If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying."

We bought some normal-priced pumpkins for carving. Cen did a baby one. Joe carved all three sides of his. And I made this:

It's Gurgie from The Black Cauldron.

Autumn joined in on the carving halfway through. Then we watched Pan's Labyrinth, which is weird and creepy and unsatisfying. Joe found a Halloween costume at Goodwill and Autumn tasted a blackberry frozen margarita at Chili's.