This is the story of how we die.

Storm Trooper Mallows

Shan, Eric, and Baby Russell,
in proper Star Wars fashion.

Last week:
-I lived in my apartment illegally for some time.
-I got blisters walking to a Star Wars graduation party in the rain. I was chosen to wear the Boba Fett costume.
-Derek and I projected Empire Strikes Back onto my wall.

Wookie Cookies

There we are. Boba Fett, reincarnated.

Saturday: Provo, UT to Fort Collins, CO (with a little Wyoming)

Yo, Road Trip Tyler be trippin'. Road trippin'. -Derek, because Tyler was late getting us his car.

We found Theodore, the blanket, in the car. Many dates with Ted followed.

All the semi trucks ruined our lives. Passing them on small single lane roads in the fog isn't as easy as it looks.

We got to Zach and Alana's place around five. Just enough time to wrestle on the trampoline, have jumping contests, and volunteer for a bum-crushing. Meanwhile, Lauren bonded with Lincoln.

At dinner, we went around the table, swearing blood oaths to kiss Uncle Jarrod upon his arrival, in exchange for dessert. He hated it.

We stayed up all night talking to Hunter and Porter. And convincing Lauren to shower.

Sunday: Nebraska and Iowa

Even David got up to see us off. 

Nebraska- The Good Life. That's what the sign said. If you ask me, went on for too long and smelled too strongly of poop.

What are you, six? -Zach, in response to our pizza Lunchables.

I don't think I've ever been uglier. We're not leaving until I look like a human again. 
-Lauren

And sometimes, when that's
your calling, you make a face
like this.

Eating Lunchables at the Winter Quarters
temple in Hawaiian shirts. 

Pictured in the Visitor's Center are the men called to return wagons to the east, once companies arrived in Salt Lake.





Day Three: Nauvoo. All day.

All the rides. Carriage, Cart, and Oxen.

This will one day take Lauren's kids
to their school.

Complimentary breakfast starting at 4:30 a.m. And complimentary brisket dinner one night only.

70s Hall. The MTC before it was cool.

Courting Candles. Everyone has them. Your dad gives suitors a time limit to talk to his daughters. The more he likes the suitor, the more time he gets.

This is us. Sculpting the
faces of our nonexistent BFs. 

Bustle Ovens. Everyone has these too. They're just regular ovens, but all the guides were really excited about them.

Free gingerbread cookies, bread, rope making Goldilocks bricks, nail rings, and horseshoes.

Check out the temple in the back.

Pop goes the weasel. Apparently a weasel is a machine associated with sewing or something.

Girls are like rocks. Skip the flat ones. -Lauren's bro

 This is my favorite picture of Lucy Mack Smith. -Lauren.
This is the only picture of Lucy Mack Smith. -missionary.

How was your Monday?

Only twenty more hours until we have to wake up tomorrow. I hate that about us. -Lauren

Day Four: Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Maryland, Pennsylvania

Driving fifteen hours and only stopping once. Never a good idea. Illinois-Fields of Opportunity. Indiana-Beef Steak House. Jokes. Indiana-Crossroads of America. Ohio-So Much to Discover. Pennsylvania-Wild and Wonderful. Also, in this part of the country, nobody uses their blinkers anymore.

Remember that time we had to do a U turn on the purple heart highway? -Lauren
Remember that time we left the gas cap off until we got back on the highway? -Me

Steak and Shake with our waitress Coco. 1. Lauren, you ate that shake motha fast. 2. You want any lettuce? Cuz you don't like nothing that starts with L. Like yo name. Lauren. Lemons. Lettuce. 3. I'mma send my guardian angels after y'all. I would hate for two girls that I love...that I served...to die.

I got two beds in this room because I figured we'd be fighting by now. -Me

Nobody told me you had a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year. Also that the Pennsylvania Turnpike expects $20 tolls. I hate that.

Day Five: Hershey, PA to NJ to NYC to CT. 
We ate Hershey bars in Hershey, PA. We ate Dunkin Donuts in New England. We braved New York traffic to see the Statue of Liberty. We braved my house in CT. Although we didn't escape unscathed. Lauren had her nails painted. We went to the beach to touch the Atlantic Ocean.

Day Six: Boston
Freedom Trail. Not so free, as it turns out. But lovely. We saw the water front. Paid exorbitant sums of money for parking. Climbed the monument, all 300 stairs, and didn't die. Yet. Gallivanted around in Boston. Ate at a French restaurant. And returned Tyler's car, unscathed.

Day Seven: MA
After my lovely uncle, Aaron, picked me up from the worst of Boston traffic, I got to hang out at his house for a day. We played Guillotine, Pit, and Five Crowns. I drilled Anna at basketball. I weeded a garden and Mimi recounted family history. Grampy kept telling me stories instead of napping. Mimi kept feeding me and trying to trick me into marriage. Sara and I went out for donuts. Grampy bought me some grape juice. And my parents took me to Friendly's.

Day Eight: Singles Ward. 
If there's one thing I hate, it's singles wards outside of BYU. Especially if I have to drive people I don't know an hour away to hang out with more shy people that I don't know. But hey, they called me as a ward missionary, so it's solid. Then this happened.